reflections

my bro just came back from his npcc leisure camp
brings back a lot of old memories
went looking for old pictures and looking at old friends' blogs
wonder what happened

when did they become "old" friends
when did i stop talking to them
time does that

anyway
gave him a bit of advice before he went off to his camp
i don't think he needed much of it
he had a kind of friendly personality, which kind of made him stand out from the rest
he would make a much better cadet than me
at least in lower sec

anyway, he told me he got nominated for best camper, got third place
i felt really proud of him
but i din tell him
i think he would have been the first
but i din tell him

anyway, he also told me that a lot of my "old" friends knew that he was my brother
i wanted to drop by and pay a visit
but never did
it never feels appropriate
feel like getting some of my old squadmates and just see a campfire or something
never did
don't wanna turn up like an unwanted guest
so i never did
anyone who is still in holy np, invite me back for something leh !

i dun wanna go back by myself
it feels really awkward
the people whom i talk to tend to be busy
while the rest, i dont have much to talk about
on the HI anniversary when i went back, i literally had nothing to talk about
i just went up, said hi, talked about a camp for like 3 sentences and just said goodbye

it just feels really awkward
hard to explain

saw a lot of them grasp opportunities given to them
regretted i never did
they are planning for events for an area 7 of around 8-9 schools when they are 16-17
while i took on my first school wide organizing in J2
always felt i had late development
like im a late boomer
or just a late


thing

i used to blame other people for not giving me the opportunity to shine, especially people in higher position
but now in council, and seeing my brother, i realized that it was never because there was no opportunity
i just never grasped it
my brother showed me that
just a little too late i guess
but like the principal says
you still have a long way to go, i mean i'm not wishing you any bad luck
but are you sure that you haven't passed the halfway mark of your life

i sure hope so too

anyway, miss the old days
wish they were back
miss my old friends
wish they would talk
miss my uniform
wish i could do drills in

miss np
alot


i think this is all nostalgic

anyone who reads this, still in np, let's organize a get-together, put all the ugly memories behind us and enjoy each others' company for a day


had the principal's rally yesterday
quite long
but interesting
i can't really remember what he said
but i remember dreams, perseverance, not knowing where you are in life

and horse breaking
and that swimmer
and lky and marina barrage
and terry fox

and that's about it

hope my brother can excel in NPCC


www.lightamillioncandles.com

BTW

My school ran out of water and i got a E for a levels chinese


and


my dog is afraid of thunder

really afraid

I Want To

Work In A Place Where Explosions Happen On A Regular Basis

Kind Of Like MythBusters, Except Less Cameras

Also, Lego, I want to work there too

or bartending, thats cool too

or teaching

or architect, but that needs an interview just to get into the faculty, nt even employment yet


in the mean time, i probably have to accept engineering
or soldier, NS!!


www.llightamillioncandles.com

should i

question: should i quit?