The end has a new meaning in my heart

Good News before the bad, the exams are OVER (ok they were over a long time ago)



BAd News, NPCC has just unleashed 3 activities in a row, BLESSING parade, ATC camp and NCO camp
firstly, the blessing is extremely significant cuz the principal likes it, or else no one wld have remembered it. She is trying to sell it to the catholics by making it sound good. i mean who cares, why should sumone care when u just feel like lazing at home rite?? For the first time, Im part of the GUARD OF HONOR, but before u celebrate, i DONT know how to do rifle drills as well as the sec 2s.

I wanna cry

the ATC camp is going to hurt me as we are going to UBIN AGAIN, YAYAY !!!! there is going to be a wet activity this time and i dont feel like bringin anything wet back home. worse still, we cant bring any home clothes there, onli np or skool shirts. its still quite okay compared to the nco camp

I wanna run away

Now, the NCO camp is going to be the highlight of this year, cuz we get to run a campfire for the first time. but i scared we not up to standard. the whole nco camp will decide what post we get. that alone leads to many questions. What if i dont get the post i want?What if Im not up to standard? What if The understudy NCOs are better then me? I WILL push myself this time, i realli hope i can do it. Joey told us today that our squad has been weak from sec1 to now. its true but its very demoralising to hear from an officer. He told us that there will be CONFIRMED understudys. that means we were not good enough to run the unit by ourselves that we need help from others. I realli wanna prove myself during the camp, i dont wanna let my seniors down. I dont wanna let me instructors down. I dont wanna let myself down (i am so selfish) but i realli hope to prove sumthing during this camp. maybe im just not cut out to be a squad leader. I realli wanna cry if i dont get the post i want. what will happen after that? i dont know. I hope i can be more iniative for my np life from now on.

I wanna hide from all my troubles and wait till they go away

Help me......