from an old friend and seniors blog.
before you go to sleep tonight, ask yourself this question. would you rather have a dream or a nightmare?
before you dismiss this, think about it. very carefully
when you have a dream, sure its nice and awesome and all that, but you still have to wake up some time and realize its not there.
but if you had a nightmare, there's always the amazing relief to wake up and say HOLYWTFOMGBBQ.
that was really food for thought.
and she went on to explain about not being able to realize the dream of going to Delaware, USA.
i'm not going to elaborate here
so i thought about it myself
i don't really have any really life altering or traumatic nightmares before yet so i can't say much about that.
about dreams,
for a really long time, i have made a small but true observation about myself.
i have no endgame. If you watch any action movie or anything where a plan is involved (particularly one where they rob a bank), its how you make the escape and then spend all that cash you so dirtily attained on a beach with some hot babes in bikinis around your arms.
but i digress, anyway, i don't know what i want out of life, i have no plans whatsoever. i don't even have a really legitimate reason for studying, at least i can't convince myself that it is true. for that matter, i don't even have a passion to pursue. at least for some people, if they left school, they could go on to be photographers and drummers and artists and all that. i don't have that. i don't have any "real" passion. what i have are "pastimes" or extended sessions where my hands are kept busy. the only reason i do any of the stuff i do is so that when the internet crashes or i'm in an mrt, i wont go nuts. i have an incredibly short attention span, and if i'm not interested anymore , i move on. and these extended sessions do not get me anywhere. i can't set up a magic show and be a professional magician. i can't barely juggle for nuts. i suck at pool. and i barely play games long enough for me to go pro.
so there. i'm really stuck. heck i don't even know what job i'm gonna take in the future. i don't wanna be a soldier, i can't run a friggin 2.4 km in 15 mins, and girls break that regularly. i don't wanna be an engineer, i just wanna play with a newton's cradle and some magnets. i don't wanna be an architect, i just like looking at buildings, i don't even have a portfolio. i don't wanna be a teacher, i just fancy the idea of saying things and people listening.
and all this i'm just talking about my career prospects. i don't have a girlfriend. heck i don't even know if i can get one within the next five years.
and then there's the other people, the poor and the less fortunate. all my life, i knew deep down i was lucky, and i knew i had to pay someone back. but i don't know whether that day will ever come where i pick up the courage to lend a hand. i knew i wanted to change the world, but thats just a rough hazy idea just floating around. i need solid concrete plans.
holy crap, wake me up.
i think i just bummed myself out writing this post.. anyway, that was not how i intended to write this. the post above is separated so i have a non-bummed out version
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