Never, never, never did I screw with someone's food on purpose. 12 years as a Chef. Anyone who did shit like that was getting thrown the fuck out of my kitchen. Anyone who does shit like that is human garbage.
That being said I have done the opposite: We had a regular customer who would come in on every Saturday nights at the peak of business; while we were in the weeds. He called himself the Ronster. We hated him; I had built a menu that was delightful and had really great options but he could not be bothered to even try one of them. He was such a loyal regular customer that when one kitchen manager refused his order on a Saturday night the Ronster called the owner and forced the Kitchen manager to apologize to him on the dining room floor. His diva status was legendary, and for him it was a symbol of status to bring his friends out and show them that he could make an entire restaurant dance around him.
I played along fully, even though I never had mise en place for his orders because it varied so much each week. I finally went all out and cooked him a meal that he loved enough to order again and again. A very simple alfredo pasta with a truffled veal buerre rouge. Not the lightest meal. Alfredo is easy as pie, as is sauteed veal buerre rouge. So I was delighted he wasn't requesting anything complex anymore (he once demanded Beef Wellington in the middle of us having 20+ tickets in a 125 cover restaurant). He still came in every Saturday and still ignored our seasonal, local and genuinely delicious offerings.
I began pushing his meal to the extremes of flavor and fat content, making it more and more delicious, his pasta had a full stick of butter and 2 cups of heavy cream. The buerre rouge was more butter and the veal was sauteed in ghee. He couldn't get enough. I ate the meal once just out of curiosity and it was soooo heavy, afterward I could barely even keep my eyes open. Major calories
For years he would come and eat my meal, he loved it. Praised me and would bring in all his friends, essentially no one but him would order outside of the menu and the Ronster and I had an ongoing junkie/pusher relationship.
He doesn't come in for a few months. and when he does return the owner calls me out and the Ronster looks terrible; he had a triple bypass after a series of heart attacks. I could tell he wanted his veal, his thunderbomb of fat and salt. Ronster asked what I could make him with no fat at all, no red meat, as low calorie as possible. He dined on poached salmon and steamed spinach with unflavored wild rice. I never saw him smile again.
tl/dr: Customer was a major dick, I spent years addicting him to my fattiest meal and he eventually had severe heart attacks.
edit: just did a quick rough calculation and his calorie count was right around 4,000
- I felt sad for the victim. and a little heartburn.
Moral of the story: Don't piss off people who handle your food.
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