Parody article

https://www.theblueandgoldsmu.com/single-post/2017/04/11/Racism-in-SMU

Heightism in

April 11, 2017

By: Some short fuck

Right off the bat, allow me to present my disclaimer: these views belong solely to the author and not . The author realises and acknowledges the following incidents are only carried out by a small proportion of the community, and he does not mean to offend any person(s) of any height(s). That would just be ironic.

If you haven’t already realised this, heightism microaggressions are surprisingly plentiful across – well, at least in my limited experience of on campus. Microaggressions are the everyday snubs, whether intentional or unintentional, which communicate negative messages to persons based solely upon their marginalized group membership. Although short men are recognised as one of the demographics in Singapore and we are not a ‘marginalized’ group per se, we are still a minority – especially when viewed through the lens of relativity.

I’ve been in Singapore for more than half my life, and given the number of tall friends I’ve made, I can stretch high enough to reach most shelves. However, I would ascertain that it is reasonable to assume that most individuals do not enjoy stretching to reach things inconveniently far from their reach. So when I started attending certain project group meetings this semester that were conducted largely with tall men – despite a clear distinction of my shortness – I was shocked.

I generally don’t have an issue working in pre-assigned project groups, but I do have an issue when these groupmates are all tall AF and tend to overlook me as a short man because that’s convenient, and because they simply can. Perhaps it was just the group of people that I had the pleasure to be working with. Perhaps it’s a microcosm of larger issues in our society. Either way, the refusal to cooperate to such an extent simply because of one’s own convenience is deeply disappointing to witness, and I honestly hope that such incidents don’t become part of 's repertoire.

I don’t intend to sound presumptuous or defensive in any way, and I do acknowledge that only a small fraction of our student population would behave as such. Although let’s not pretend that everyone’s favourite short stereotype isn’t… resting their arms and elbows on short peoples' heads. Yes, that one’s a classic. I cannot count the number of times that has been said or done around me— and to be honest, when it’s done in good humour, it’s fine. We all know how to take jokes.

But what happens when someone gives a class presentation about specifically wanting to break such arm-related stereotypes, and then proceeds to mock it with a strange version of their own rest stance? Needless to say, they do not get a loud applause. Although my short male professor did not say anything to them, I apparently wasn’t as big a person as he, and I did tell my classmates why their “funny skit” was considered offensive to my friends and I. My beef with the group wasn’t the quality of their performance – that’s a separate issue – but it was the fact that they recognised an evil, and then proceeded to propagate it. That, my friends, is how jokes evolve into microaggressions.

But enough about these one-off experiences; I’d like to publicly address something that has been a constant for some of my peers and I for quite some time. Those of you that know me would know how involved I am with trying to find a girlfriend before I graduate, and how much I love not being lonely. As a male mammal, we do a lot with regards to the opposite sex; from flirting to texting to meeting privately for dates – the opportunities have been endless. But it’s always bothered me that the moment I mention I’m a man who's shorter than my peers, I am confronted with questions such as “Ew, you so short?” and “Don't girls only want to date guys above 1.8m?”

Pardon me, but I don’t see what is wrong with either being on the lower end of the dating pool or being shorter than 1.8m. I’m not here to defend shortness or to advocate for how great it is, but I do ask that as a population, we all try to get ourselves heightually educated before engaging in conversation with others. Although such conduct may seem normal or harmless to some, the truth is that when you are a minority, such issues tend to hit home harder. It’s bad enough that we have to deal with being different from your norm; we don’t need to be taunted for it as well.

I bring forward these personal anecdotes simply to raise awareness of a larger issue at hand; the fact that this kind of behaviour is still very present, and that it happens to every height, not just short men. Subtle discrimination is still discrimination.  boasts itself on hosting international students from every corner of the globe, and Singapore does the same with regards to its social harmony. I feel that it is imperative for us, as individuals of both our college and nation, to see that we turn these facts into strengths. It is about time we moved from being heightually inclusive to being heightually aware.

Inaction is still an action

We live in our bubbles. There's really no denying it. I'm a very confrontational person, so I thrive on hashing our disagreements in a single moment as much as I can. And most of the time, I find that I'm alone in this. Most people prefer being in a state of flux, not drawing the line in the sand because that ironically fixes their position. And that state of flux more often than not, involves leaving things be, letting things take care of itself, and not doing anything on a personal level.

I absolutely detest that. Because I find it a very selfish act. The community as a whole, which sometimes can just be 2 people, do not move forward as a result of a conflict that has no confrontation and by extension, no resolution. I do not believe inaction is the right course in most causes as a result.

Above is one of the difficult philosophical questions, the trolley problem. A train is going along this train track with no brakes, on course to hit 5 people tied down. You, as an individual, can pull this lever to shift the train to another course, which has only a single person. Do you pull the lever? The train has nothing to do with you; you're not responsible for tying people down or removing the brakes on the train. You are just a bystander. But do you let 5 people die when you had the chance to do something about it.

Then what if you pull? Do you cause this innocent man to die who would otherwise have walked away harmless?

For me, I will always pull. Because if I can do something, doing nothing then becomes a choice. And doing nothing can have consequences.

In the USA, Trump was recently voted in to be the next president. As horrendous as that sounds, it does not sound as bad as the next sentence I'm going to type. 42% of eligible American voters didn't vote. In other words, about 70% of Americans were responsible for putting a man like that in the highest office in the land. No matter how messed up the system is, no matter how inconsequential you think your vote is, make a choice. The vote represents your voice in the nation. People who do not take part in the process do not have the right to complain about the president or any other federal decisions he made because they have forfeited their voice. The indecision has just as much a cost as any other decision.


http://www.cc.com/video-clips/m9ds7s/the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-exclusive---tomi-lahren-extended-interview?xrs=synd_FBPAGE_20161201_692299924_The+Daily+Show_Video+with+Link&linkId=31796489

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fY9xGRZjUUI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyFzhjk0n4Q

In a debate or a discussion, we often fall into the trap of only hearing what we want to hear; more specifically, giving a free pass to people we agree with . Listen, I'm glad people are scrutinizing each others' arguments, I genuinely, truly am. But what I find unforgivable is the inability to pass that same depth of judgement onto themselves and the people they agree with.

Hopefully, I will have attached 2 different "sides" which react to the same 30min interview and notice that when they are defending, they often overwhelmingly and passionately cheer on when their side presents a correct point and only barely, superficially talk about their incorrect points, while doing the exact opposite for their opponent.

Here's the thing, I'm a consumer, this 30min interview gives me about maybe an hour of fun really digesting and thinking the points over in my head, but this rightfully belongs in the category of things I care about. Imagine if I don't care about this news in particular. I'm not going around to 2 different sides to collect information and finally make my own judgement. It's neither viable or acceptable to do so for news of actual facts.

I have my own opinions about both parties in this interview. It took a long time. I can't imagine doing the same for every issue of the day and I do not want to. Trust in information sources like the media is at an all-time low and we are retreating into our bubbles. This is a problem.

Happiness

In lieu of a much more pretentious title like bliss or whatever, here's a (hopefully) quick update on my life right now.

I'm happy.

Life is still difficult, in fact, it may even be a bit more difficult than last year. But in many ways, it's also a lot easier.

I'm sitting here right now in my girlfriend's room, typing this as she's doing her revision. I don't have the words to accurately describe my feelings for her. But I'm going to try.

This girl, oh my god this girl. When I hear her singing (which she only really does in the privacy of very few people), I catch myself smiling. She's not very good, as she will rightfully remind you. It reminds me of someone just enjoying the music for what it is, unlike some people (myself included) that sing for our ego.

When she kisses me, I get energized. When I hold her hand, my day gets from bad to good, or good to even better. The old reddit quote I always love seems apt here, "... like a warm, electric fence."

If I'm not spending the night with her, suddenly the bed feels so much emptier. I have never missed anyone as hard as I missed her, and we barely only spend 1 or 2 nights apart.

We just realised Qing Fei De Yi pretty much describes my journey with her. I don't think I can love someone this much. Hope I'm not jinxing it here.

See you next time.

On Change

As a student, change appears to move very quickly, and yet at the same time, not quickly enough. We are intelligent and acute enough to identify flaws, huge flaws especially, and yet never seem to act with any real deliberation.

I was inspired to write this after watching this video about NUS Rag and Flag day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2u-0uOPQQMo

It's a 25 minute long video but it's worth the watch, documenting the various issues that surround Rag and flag and its relevance.

I believe change needs to move fast. You erase as much as you can while preserving the fundamental values that support the activity or tradition. And then you let strong surviving sentiments seep back in. Some people believe change takes time. They say that it's better to try things slowly, change it bit by bit until it looks different, and hopefully more respectable. I don't know which is better.

But there is a lot of "doublethink" involved in this kind of matters. When you know one side is wrong but cannot directly argue against it.

Founding Father

When I was having a chillout session during softball the other day, somebody said something that just started to rattle in my head for some reason.

My very good friend, who is an ex-softball captain, said "I'm the founding father of this team" in chinese. And that is pretty much 100% true. Its factuality is not what's making me turn this line over and over in my head. It's that it challenges a lot of the basic constructs I form my values around. To place it in context. He became the captain as a Year 2 student in Hall, back when only 4 people out of maybe 10 even wanted to stay on in softball. His first year in the team was terrible, with barely anyone showing up for training and a captain who didn't take anything seriously. So he took over, and one of the first things that happened, whether he consciously made the effort to or not, was a lot of his fellow year 2s joined, myself included. If I recall correctly, about 10 of us joined that year even though we were neither year 1s nor had any experience.

So what he said wasn't wrong. He was indeed the "founding father". We remember him as a good captain, but not because of his skill in softball or even in managing the sport. Simply because he was the one to set this all up.

This makes me uncomfortable (in a nice kind of way), because all my life, I thought you needed skill, experience or competency to be a good leader. You needed these things for people to look up to you. And more importantly, you needed these to do a good job. His success goes against all of that. The greatest gift he brought to the table is his good nature as a friend. He made it so that we WANTED to be a part of whatever he was doing, and not him begging us to join him, a typical position most new leaders are put in. 

So why does this make me uncomfortable, really? Part of my personal identity is modeled around this TV character, Dr. Gregory House, and to a certain extent, his primary inspiration, Detective Sherlock Holmes. The idea that being a good is all that matters, regardless of your (unpleasant) personality. I wanted to be so good that people couldn't "find fault" in me. So I often made competency a priority in my life. If I wasn't good at something, I wouldn't be a worthy partner to discuss with. If I didn't know something, I had little value.

But yet at the same time, I didn't see the world in only black and white. My nature is to be slow in reacting to people, especially if they don't give me a reason to. I want to give people second chances because others have also given it to me. I want to help others and bring them up to the same level, hopefully even transcending me. I couldn't really bring myself to hurt or harm people, especially for selfish reasons. All these sides of me, I considered soft, but at the same time, I could not bear to part with them. They are as much a part of my personality as everything else.

So I felt a need to form a "hard" exterior. I needed to look macho, or fearless or strong or whatever. Whatever it took to make me less vulnerable, less easy to take advantage of. I knew at the end of the day, I am a soft person. But I couldn't let the whole world know that. I became more accepting of judgmental eyes, and that has freed me up to be the "asshole" everyone else knows me by. Because I've stopped caring about what others think of me.

Do forgive me for using such a simple and over-generalising language like "hard and "soft".

This is not an easy burden to carry. Most of the times it doesn't bother me. But sometimes it hits like a freight train. A friend in BMT once asked me, why do you feel the need to be macho? I couldn't come up with an answer. The next day he asked me the same question. I still couldn't answer him. The third day he asked me again. That day I almost cried behind my platoon.

My friend's success at his post reflected a fundamental flaw in my personality, the very basis on which I formed my "character" to the outside world. Where I was "outside hard, inside soft", he was exactly the same inside as he was outside. He doesn't lie about disliking you, and he is sincere when he's helping you. He doesn't calculate or need reasons to help people, he just does, the same way he doesn't need reasons to dislike a person. He didn't need to be competent at his job to be successful. He didn't need to have "value" for us to want to be around him.

I don't think I can ever be this naked to the whole world. I think I need this "security blanket" when I face the world. Sometimes, I think about it really hard, and wonder if the hardness is the main reason for my unattractiveness to girls. Then I answer my own question by saying, what if they are even more unattracted to the softness inside.

An open letter regarding FOCs

An open letter regarding FOCs

For the longest time, I struggled to find the right words to address all this. I figured it would only be right to speak first to those that matter the most.

To Mummy & Papa,

I'm sure you would have read the recent news regarding NUS and the Freshmen Orientation Camps/Projects, and like any loving parent, you would no doubt be worried sick wondering if I am implicated in all this. I am at once embittered, angered, disappointed, saddened, unsure and apologetic. So to get all of this out of the way: Yes, I have participated in unapproved activities before. No, it was nothing like they describe in the papers. No, I have never done anything without a freshman's consent. Yes, we made sure nobody was hurt. No, The New Paper is not telling the whole truth. Yes, the stories are exaggerated. Yes, I am safe.

"A lie can travel halfway the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes."

Calling the article a mischaracterization of NUS freshmen activities is an understatement. To be able to publish a story like this says a lot about the journalistic standards of Singapore and The New Paper. Before this saga, I was apathetic. Today I am embittered. The activities written in the paper are sensationalized, their lewdness exaggerated, their outrageousness maximized. The orange shirt push up photo you see as the cover has already appeared in the same paper a few years back under a similar title, and even more heinously, it's not even from NUS. The videos circulating around are either not from NUS or from years before, of which the organizers have already been disciplined for. All those currently implicated are absolutely innocent and I'm absolutely angered that they have been accused in the first place with no real evidence other than a possibly bitter freshman's "testimony"

As much as you condone these activities and these seniors for doing such unspeakable acts (once upon a time), these are the very same seniors that taught us to discern the right way of doing it and the wrong way of doing it. These are the very same seniors who taught us how to make mature decisions, how to not let your emotions or impulses get the better of you. The very same seniors taught me how to do all these things safely, both physically and mentally. The very same seniors taught me that we support our fellow man by building each other up, not tearing the enemies down. So no matter how tempting it may have been to characterize NUS seniors as perverse, understanding these nuances in the complex and often harsh reality of life made me a better and more holistic person today.

The road to adulthood is paved with stupidity. To pretend it is anything but is to live in denial. A denial that what feels like the whole of Singapore is going through. It seems ludicrous that plenty of "adults" that have gone through their own periods of drinking, partying and general stupidity can act high and mighty once their time was up. Let's not pretend that these students coming in are all angel fairies that need to be protected from the realities of "adult" life. We are adults. And we need to make our own stupid decisions too. They teach us to make better ones. So, No, I'm not sorry for not behaving according to your delusional worldview, and I'm not sorry if it offends your delicate sensibilities.

I am saddened for this current batch of freshmen and seniors because I know the road ahead will be tougher than it has ever been. From today onwards, there is an added level of paranoia, fear and uncertainty among all those who may have intended to step up like we once did. And by missing out on such experiences, they lose what made our NUS lives so enriching. Participating in any capacity in an FOC is thankless job, one that thousands upon thousands of seniors sign up for year after year. There is no compensation, no reward, no real reason to give up precious vacation time to come back to school for this. Yet, we do. We do, because we became a closer family through these camps. I have walked in the shoes of a freshman, an OGL, a camp organizer and a Project Director for orientation. I know that my outlook on life and society around me has been deeply shaped by these experiences, and I want to share these experiences with the incoming freshmen just as my seniors have done for me. Every time I walk out of my front door during summer vacation, it's for orientation. You know that. And I know you look me in the eyes every time and simply ask that I do not do anything stupid and stay safe. I assure you, because of my seniors, I KNOW I'm not doing anything stupid. 

To end off; To my brother, my cousins and all prospective freshmen who at some point will consider NUS as their institute of higher learning, I can only offer my sincerest apologies. The vocal minority has prevailed once again, and you must suffer the consequences for it. Maturity is not a given in any society, and pandering to the lowest denominator does not make us any stronger in any way. Hopefully, the journey that has brought you here has endowed you sufficiently to discern the right from the wrong, the truth from the half-truths. The same path that I took that so enriched my young adulthood will undoubtedly be unrecognizable from your own, but I wish you to become as intelligent, compassionate and wise as those who came before me. 

Vincit Omnia Veritas.

With Love,

Regrets

I've been thinking about my life quite a bit these days. Because Overwatch Beta got closed a few days ago to prepare for launch.

Also, my peers are all graduating.

This is something I've been meaning to write for a while now. And to prevent the flaming failure of my last series on hall stuff, I'm going to keep it, as much as possible, to one point per entry. So that at least, when you read, you get one small but complete picture, rather than going everywhere and not really making any solid conclusions.

There are a number of themes I do want to touch on, hopefully I can cover everything.
Stuff like:
Architecture school, worth it?
The value of college, to a student
Does name and brand matter?
Personal growth over the last 4 years
What if?
Next steps

~~~

But today I'll talk about something that I share an unorthodox perspective on

"Regrets"

One of the questions people bring up, when I mention that I'm not happy at NUS, is whether I regret going to NUS. And that is a difficult question to answer for several reasons.

For me, regret mostly manifests itself as inaction, rather than action. I regret the things I chose not to do, or deliberately chose easier paths to do. But I seldomly regret hard decisions because no matter what, I would look back and say that was the only good decision given the information I had at that time. Like I put myself in particular decision-makers' heads and I don't blame them for doing controversial things, because I could see myself doing the exact same thing at that time.

Every time I hear someone say, I could only have succeeded because I did ABC or been through XYZ, I feel a little queasy. The main reason is that I see experiences as largely interchangeable. Unless there is something unique or overwhelmingly better at this particular school, I won't jump to conclusions and say I'm a smarter person because of NUS, because I don't see the value of NUS making me smarter COMPARED to other competitors. It's like if I get a scuba diving license, I would consider that pretty interchangeable between multiple diving schools. The one I experienced does not seem to have any unique value over the next.

On the other hand, I would, without question, say that SRJC has made me a better person. Because I can internalize the unique value that I would not have gotten elsewhere, namely the excellent teaching staff. To me I can proudly say that statement because it offers value over its nearest equivalent.

And I try to apply that across as many experiences as I can. And it sometimes does offend friends when I say that I might have made similar friends elsewhere and grown in a similar fashion. I have not had such life-altering experiences with most of them, that I feel that Person X or Person Y is truly special. And just to clarify, yes, there are friends I have life-altering experiences with. And they are truly the ones who shaped me into who I am. Whom I wouldn't be here without.

But to really really answer this question. I will say that I feel I have not reach the full maximum of my potential, and that the school and this environment has a very big part to play in that failure.

I can't say for sure, NTU would have been a better fit. Nor can I say NUS was the only culprit.

Because of NUS, I have become smarter, more thoughtful, more deliberate, more idealistic, more guarded, more reserved, more self-centered, more articulate and more cunning. But at the same time, would I have grown similarly somewhere else?

As I write this post, I have to re-examine regret as a concept. Perhaps another way to re-frame this question is whether "Have I become a lesser person than the one I set out to be?"

When I entered this particularly course, I knew I was going to be challenging myself. I don't remember if I was mature enough to accept that there were 2 possible outcomes. Either I was going to come out stronger, or I was going to be broken by the challenge.

But what I can say is, now more than ever, I feel weaker and more confused, even though I've truly known more than I ever have in my life.

So yes, I do feel I have not lived up to what I thought I could achieve. But do I "regret" choosing NUS?

Uatu, the worst Watcher in this reality

No, because it was the best option at the time. Without going through another lifetime, I cannot see what unique experiences NTU or SMU would have given me. I would only have regretted not choosing NUS.