another reason to bang my head against the wall

...
...
...
we are no longer ncos anymore
..
we were not good enough
.
even the TOs said so

we have no initiative
no bonding
no telepathy
no respect for rank
no nco mindset

i am just 1 of them
i think im the one who pulled them down
i couldnt help them just because im tired
i always shout at people even though its not their fault
i bring peoples morale down
i make peoples worried about nothing ( me)
i waste other peoples time
i think they are better off without me
i just cant help them
i just cant make people listen
i just dont have the SHI LI
i just want to make them a higher profile squad even if
im not in it
i dont wan to be the best anymore
i just want everyone give their 75%
iz enough liao
maybe without me they can do better
i feel like biting myself
for letting them down
for not being SHI LI PAI
for simply being there when we are scolded
for not speaking up when i have ideas
for not making people listen when i shld make a decision
for not making decisions when i shld

im sorry
..............

every single decision i have made sucked until now
every decision others make rocks like hell
everything i do makes people piss off and scold me
everything others do gets them praise
but if they include me in what they do
the decision automatically sux

im sorry

i cant help yu guys
i cant do anything useful
i only make you all lose face

sry


BINGHUI NOW I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL...