When I was a kid, I couldn't really comprehend how my own decisions affected others close to me, particularly my family. It made no sense at that time that when I chose to stay at home and play my computer instead of going out with them would cause them to be easily infuriated. It still doesn't because i perceive that to be an individual decision that would only affect myself. I wasn't making any kind of statement or proving any point by not doing something in particular. "No, I refuse to be in the company of those who choose to eat lunch on time" I wasn't saying that. But people would somehow twist and turn my perceived intentions until i, for some reason became the bad guy.
I still struggle to catch many of these really subtle implications of my actions these days. But its' easier now when i see my own brother making the same decisions i made 5 years ago. Then, i wanted to stay at home as often as possible to play because that was the only thing in my mind. He does the same except he has a choice of skating or playing video games. But the general implications are the same. My mum would get frustrated at trying to talk to an adolescent son and my dad gets frustrated but quiet, when my mum does. Now, at least seeing it from a third person perspective, you get to see what went wrong in the communication. Sometimes it's the tone of voice that gets people jumpy, sometimes the fact that people are rushing for time or that the activity in question has been pushed back for a long enough time. Of course i still miss many of the cues that arise with this and my dad is hardly useful at all (in that regard). He just keeps quiet. I wonder if he's figured it out yet.
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