Life is Hard

Life is hard, things are never easy, we will always find ways to look at them and find them imperfect.
But what gives us any kind of motivation to keep moving


why are we so afraid to die, so afraid to let go of the material things.
I guess what i'm trying to say is that if life is so hard, then why are we afraid of death.
why do we not look forward to it as an escape from the struggle that is life.

And i don't really have anyone to ask, because my closest friend also doesn't really look forward to life.

If i were to really dig deep, I figured the answer is the people around you that you love. It's hard to let them go.

Someone once asked me,
why do i live my life, what is my purpose for living.

I told him nothing, that i had nothing to live for.
He replied, then why are you still here? Just jump la, there's nothing here anyway.
I told him i wanted to spare my parents the agony of burying their own child.
So i rephrased my answer. It turns out that my purpose in life was to outlive them.
He asked me if i was sure that was the answer. He said that are you sure you are living now to love them?
And that sentence never really made sense to me. It was as simple as my presence alone made them feel loved. So i couldn't really take that next step and jump even if i wanted to. I owed them that much that i could not willingly do something that i know would hurt them.

Inaction, becomes an act of love then.
It sure doesn't feel like it.

I figured out a long time ago that when i no longer had anyone to live for, i wouldn't. It was as simple as that

When the day comes and no one depends on me for happiness anymore. Then i'll leave, on my own terms.