16 Oct 2011
For the longest time since i became "atheist", one belief that i held very religiously was the fact that with as much potential for evil that men is capable of, we are also capable of great good. And that is a good enough justification for one to be good as an individual, because sometimes we all need that glimmer of hope to know that mankind is not a forsaken race. I call it a religious belief because it was something i believed in because i had faith in the humanity of all people, and because if we were to really take a look closely, it would be quite hard to find any reason or logic to do so. But i persisted, and believed that man was good for the better part of 4 years.
Now, I am having what some would call a spiritual crisis or religious crisis. That the one fundamental belief that you held which kept you grounded to the world was so shaken it almost feels like nothing is true. Something akin to God is not real or perhaps not as dramatic, more like there is a fourth holy book after the bible, a new New Testament.
I can never truly process how people can remain persistently selfish. It always feels like a major flaw in one's moral code when helping others is replaced by self-preservation. Perhaps I'm the weird person. Perhaps this world really does run on greed and self-preservation. Perhaps altruism really does not have a place in our culture. Perhaps I was really really wrong for those 4 years.
I'm not sure. But all I know is that if the people surrounding me (in this tent) represent the greater demographic of how Singaporeans and the Singapore Society is like, then there really is no good reason to defend these sons of bitches.
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