Career Choice

yesterday was actually the NS forum, which was kind of cool because at least 2 out of 5 teachers have vocations that are classified, which makes it sound so much more cool than it probably is.

anyway, i actually wrote this now, because i didn't have much thought about it except, the song at the end was so cool. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYTGdi1w-Cs, here for you to hear.

ya so, i thought about today as i was going home. it's basically the same few things since my o levels, but with a few additions here and there. but i'm gonna start the story from sec 4 so you can follow on.

so the time now is 2007, before o levels. during this period, i remember telling my friends, eh, you know ar, i never study i kanna c6, i go and study, come out fail. that's why better not to study. which was really ridiculous, because that was i sincerely believed, everytime i tried to study, i ended up getting worse. so my friends were used to seeing me not study. so i had this friend, eugene who also doesn't study, but he probably does at home, that's why he got better than me. anyway, we always go down play soccer with unity (another class) and normal acad people. so as the exams drew nearer, we played that much harder, in fact the closer it was, the more we would play. maybe we were trying to destress, maybe we were venting our anger. but it didn't really matter. what mattered was we played, and i never really improved much.

so the night study starts in our school, and it was getting to 6, and i was just sitting around at one of the canteen tables, i was telling my friends
if i pass, i'm going on to a jc. and definitely not sr, because i'd rather go to a poly than end up there. and then after i get through jc, im gonna go be an engineer, maybe sign on to the army or something.
if i just borderline, i'll most probably go to poly, but i'm definitely not going to take p engineering there, because i don't wanna end up as some uni guy's ka kia. i will maybe take up optometry and take over my father if i get to a poly.
if i flat out fail, i'll go to ite or some training thing and learn to be a bartender. only because i love to throw bottles.

a few of my close friends in secondary school have heard of this story, so they usually end up surprised i ended up in sr.

anyway, i got my o levels back, and i got l1r5 of 15. at first i was like, oh, fuck. pretty much. but most i got b3 with the shocker being bio with a c5. i mean i didn't expect to get a1 for it, but you know not that bad la. so i remember i went home, i talked to my parents i cried a little, or a lot, i can't really remember how much. but i remember my mum telling me, in a soft ocnsoling voice, what do you expect me to feel, i mean i can't say i didn't expect it, i mean this is how you do it. except in chinese. so, at that point i felt even more fucked. but i got over it. and then i went to sr.

i remember telling some of my friends hey the best thing that happened to me in pae was picking h1 bio because im never gonna h1 bio ever again, EVAR.

anyway, throughout this 2 years in interim adulthood, i picked up a few interests that i never really explored in the past. one was architecture, which was really similar to engineering, except it had more to do with design. i mean i'd love to design, but i'm just not talented enough. but i'd give architecture a run for its money. the problem is, i actually heard from a cousin who just graduated from NUS, i think, i cant really remember. anyway, he says architects are always in high demand in singapore because there is only one class of them in singapore each year, which got me really interested. if i actually did do this, i would have embarked on a path similar to my dad, because he also went to optometry when it was a diploma only subject, and only one at that time had the classes, (i think). optometry was special in that there is no degree of optometry in singapore, just a diploma. anyway, back to me. the problem is, according from my cousin, you need to go in for a COMPULSORY interview, which is not a problem (mostly), with a portfolio. WTF, when you think about it honestly, people go into architecture class because they DON'T have any experience and hence have no previous designs. but apparently they want to see it so as to weed out those who do not have "the passion" so now i'm stuck. because i can't ever reliably put architecture as a plan A, it alwasy need a reliable plan B.

also, this year, i picked up magic, which was really fun, but i don't really have any interest in performance, because i suck on stage and can't smile for my life. however, i am actually interested in croupier position, which is basically the guy who deals cards in a casino. unfortunately, the IR hiring fair is now over and at that time i wasn't 21 yet and i couldn't send in my application. Damn it, because they were offering to pay for their training courses too.

another thing. i have always been interested in signing on to the army, even though people like to say, no you're wasting your life. i think i like army life because it's never really boring. if there's one job i hate, it's office jobs. i want to do something outside. but the thing is the only thing that's realistically keeping me from signing on is my fitness. never once in my life have i ever said to myself, i am finally fit. i may have been healthy at some point, but never fit, ever. so i'm kinda hesistant about signing on. i mean no point signing on if i'm just gonna be some guy there. at least be an officer or at the very least a specialist. i don't mind going in to be an engineer or something because i have an interest in that field. i just hope i can get into ocs.

also another thing that's been on my mind about the army. i don't really know whether i want to maintain a low profile there or just try to chiong all the way. there's benefits to both so i can't really decide. i want to maintain a low profile because i am not a very social person and i want to avoid as much punishment as possible. unfortunately, from my life lessons in npcc, i realised that it's never good to be invisible, because you don't wanna regret going in and not getting the opportunity that you wanted. so you know, lazy vs getting kicked in the ass and not getting rewarded.

also another sidetrack, some of you guys may know that i screwed up my aptitude test, which means, i have a much lower chance than everyone else to get into sispec or ocs, which is really depressing.

anyway, back to the main topic. as of late, i'm becoming interested in being a teacher, particuarly a gp teacher. my mum thinks i shouldn't because i'm quite an asshole to my brother. who knows, maybe that helps. anyway, i don't wanna be a maths or physics teacher because they seem to be the most boring departments (no offense to teachers). but the problem (there's always a goddamn problem) is i won't take literature or english language as my degree. if i were to take the plunge and be a teacher, i'll most probably be in philosophy or psychology. while both are interesting to study, they don't make the most stable of jobs. jialat.


now you see that most of my career choices are screwed up. things i want to be would most probably not go my way and things that are, would probably be underwhelming.


so help! i need somebody, help! not just anybody, help! you know i need someone, hhhheeeeelllllpppp!

by the beatles, my anti-drug.

also, something for you to take home. i don't want to leave srjc with a large network but no friends. i'm sure you do too.