the 2nd post in '09

recently i have been googling up stuff along the lines of face reading, and by recently, i meant the past few hours. anyway, face reading, or physiognomy, is simply the "science" of reading faces.

a little more specific. physiognomy tries to profile you based on what kind of face you have. an example would be if the distance between your eyes is small, i.e. less than the length of an eye, it means that you have very strong focus and concentration. stuff like that. but that wasn't exactly what i was looking for, i knew i wanted to learn how to face read, but that kind of personality reading is about as reliable as horoscopes. No offense, horoscopes, but to me, as much scientific research has been put into this, i still don't see the connection.

anyway, what i was looking for was more towards cold readings, kind of like how a supposed "psychic" can talk to the dead that he never knew. Many magicians rely on this trick, they basically observe their subjects and try their luck at a few random statements. when any of that hits the jackpot, the subject would have an involuntary physiological reaction, maybe a gasp or their face turning pale, or something less obvious. so the magician picks up on that reaction and continues from there, saying more meaninglessly random sentence until they get a reaction. of course the statements they say try to get as vague as possible, so that they "hit" more people.

but most of the information i found generally involved some sort of a show kind of thing and that wasnt what i really wanted. what i wanted to learn was how to understand and pick up on that kind of involuntary reactions. many of those reactions are split second and i want to train myself to pick up on the different kinds and know what they are, i mean theres no point seeing someone sway from side to side, their heads tilted down if you don't know what it means.

so thanks to the wonders of wikipedia, or in this case wikiHow, i found out what i wanted to learn, body language. ya, it was that simple, body language. i wanted to know how to pick up on different body language, but reading on the web wasn't good enough. i knew i needed practice, but the thing is, you don't really know if you are correct, nothing is more than a hunch. so i kinda bummed out. i needed a teacher or some other way of learning.

so after that, i decided to do more clicking and stumbled on to how to detect lies. quite interesting and useful.
i also stumbled onto something called the Forer effect.
its basically magic through the computer screen, i will show you how it works.

with the power of the Forer effect, i will attempt to read your personality through the internet, i will try and analyze your personality and it will only be through the computer screen, all you need to do is fill out a little poll at the end to help out. if i get more than 50 hits, i will tell you how i did it.

anyway, understand that this report applies to you only and it generates a unique one for every visitor

You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You also pride yourself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof. But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.


how was it, tell me in the polls

Free Web poll for your Web site - freepolls.com

New Year

my tagbox is screwed up, yo need to highlight it to read it
should i just change one?

anyway, some of u may have heard of the zune 30
if you havent, its basically an mp3 player with 30gb

so now, since many of you have not heard it, it shows that its not a very popular brand of mp3 player,

so the problem now is that many zune owners found their zune bricked, or spoilt, on new years' eve. so that kinda pulls their marketing down by a bit

what's even funnier is that the fix for the spoilt zune is to just wait for 24 hours
you read correct, just wait and do nothing
apparently the problem is about the internal clock being unable to read leap years or something

so thats a damn powerful technical support team, solving your problem without even breaking a sweat

it also begs the question, how would the whole system be linked to the clock, such that when the clock fails, everything else fails with it.
its not like it records what time you play a certain song right.
maybe it does, i dunno, i dun really hear much about zunes

anyway, surfing around youtube, saw a few videos about song backwards, hear the spongebob theme song, very funny
some people believe that messages were deliberately put there, so its even more stupid when they think people are out to get them. i saw on miley cyrus' songs, the person who uploaded the video thinks that miley is innocent and isnt putting any *bad* messages to her beloved fans, its those evil producers!!

hahas, funny people

anyway, i have asked a few of my friends for their opinion on me, im planning to write that out someday, before january ends, hopefully...



www.lightamillioncandles.com

-

Fuck You, Future Me

you know...

you know when there are some things you really wanna tell people, but it kinda sounds very bad, so tt kind of thing you would tell a very very close friend, but yet the bad thing you are about to say is about tt friend, and then u realised, EFF, its gonna stay there until i explode.

i write stuff here becuase i dun tell my friends stuff, im not like most people, i don't sit at a coffee place called Central Perk and then talk about stuff thats happening around you, and then a guy named Chandler makes up a joke about how ridiculous that situation sounds like. I don't have that, so i write

i write hoping that in the future, the future me, ( who hopefully, is more handsome, fit, and smart) can read and then laugh about it. kinda like the friends at a coffee place thing, you know except over a long period of time.

i guess this is the kinda thing u have to get used to, i dunno why its so hard for me to tell people about things, make conversation, small talk if you will. i just got off a car ride with my dad, brother and uncle, it was silent all the way.

some people say silence is good, its golden or something, but too much gold is kinda pointless. anyway right now the one i tell the most things to is my friend Fuji, and even he can't understand half of what im saying.

anyway, i got this situation, i want to say something mean about my friends, but i cant because i dun really have any other, and because people dont crap about other people to random strangers, (at least thats what i think), im stuck

i wanna write about it but theres the possibility (VERY HIGH) that he/she/they/it will read, so im kinda screwed. i wanna start another private blog, but i will most probably forget the password and url.

so to keep future me happy, here it is,

to: (???)

eh wah lau how can u liddat, get so many people never get me, what is this,i not important enough is it. i noe i this year never talk to you/ll much, but aso cannot like that what, last time with you/ll aso mus self invite 1 leh, wtf man, bloody hell, i f i dunno that means i will never hear about it is it, u/ll good la, i treat uall as friendz u/ll come do this kind of thing, na beiz

remember the date, future me, its 28/12/08



anyway, a lot of this stems from my intense dislike of not being told about stuff


and ya before i forget, im gonna do the year end thing which i did annually for the past 2 years, basically i msn or talk to or call peopl who have been in contact with me for the past year and ask about their impressions of me, its kinda like a survey, but i found a cooler word for it,

called evaluation

ok its not that cool, but still, if u wanna drop a message, u can tag or msn me and tell me what u think of me, what i rock at and what i rock less at, so i can change. for a brief sample u can see my old posts here
it basically helps me change for the better. hopefully

so i will be calling ppl up, so beware




www.lightamillioncandles.com
help light 1

Korea

I was In korea
it was nice
i skied
i saw snow
fun
but i still prefer being among friends

Goat

Yes, We Ate One,
quite delicious



Keng Hong Helped
hahas

Lijiang

Beautiful


summary:
went there on a plane,
got cold,
wore 4 layers of clothes,
went to a hotel,
slept,
woke up,
still cold,
had porridge for breakfast,
went to school,
played with secondary school kids there,
forgot my lines,
gave out some prizes,
went to a farmers' house,
refused a cigarette,
got hungry,
ate a goat,
danced with locals,
went back to hotel,
debriefed by principal,
slept,
woke up,
packed my bag,
had lunch,
went to Tiger Leaping Gorge,
climbed down rocks,
rode a boat across it,
climbed up some more rocks,
walked a zigzag path uphill,
walked across some farmlands,
climbed down some more rocks,
took some photos,
walked on a road,
ran out of energy,
bit some gum,
finally reached tina's guesthouse,
went to the bunks,
realized that there was no power socket and it was damn cold,
ate dinner,
danced some more,
sang some songs,
went to bed,
woke up,
id some tai chi,
had breakfast in the dark,
went back to hotel,
slept,
debriefed,
slept again,
woke up,
went up to snow mountain,
rode a cable car,
played with ice instead of snow,
went back down,
went to Yangtze First Bend,
looked at it,
went to communist memorial,
went back,
debriefed,
ate dinner,
went to Gu Chen,
saw some shops,
followed the river,
went back,
got peer evaluated,
played cards til 2,
slept,
woke up,
got our luggage down,
went to the "palace" of Mu the chieftain,
went for lunch back in Gu Chen,
shopped,
went back late,
got punished,
went back to Kunming,
had KFC,
did my punishment,
went back to Singapore.

that's it





and then there's the view
Breathtaking

Thank the teachers, the principal, Tom and Rocky our tour guides for an amazing trip

I AM

the kind of person who sees a typo in your message and looks at the keyboard wondering what letter were you intending to press, had you not made that mistake

New Beginnings

Long Time Since I Last Posted

Cant believe im blogging about leaving

sometimes when when there is no longer anymore opportunities, we must look towards new sources

and that is why i made this decision

it was a very difficult decision to make

i just hope its the right 1

you know how its irritating when people visit but never tag

Yes, I'm Talking About You!
start Tagging





-taggingrox-

Wishlist

List of games i wanna get for my xbox360

Castle Crashers $15-$30
Rock Band 2 (great party game, dunno worth or not) $200-$300
Rock Band 1 (either or) $229
Burnout Paradise 2nd Hand $40-$60 First hand $70
The Force Unleashed Loan $15-$25
Devil May Cry 4 Loan $15-$25

I also want a psp

Anyone thinking of getting me a christmas gift?

Friends

My closest friends are often times those that have almost nothing in common with me, be it hobbies, interests or personalities

At this point, if i had a nice group photo, i would it rite where this chunk of text would be, but unfortunately, im not photogenic, not in the least.


Pietro is the one male person i trust the most. He is, actually i don't know what the hell he is interested in, but anyway, he was in my primary 6 class and in my p6 end-of-year camp group, and i actually only remembered he was in my class at that time, because he was very quiet. Anyway, he came to be in the same class as me for the next 2 years, then went on to take pure bio. He is a quiet person, but becomes more social as time goes by, which is the opposite of me, being loud, then quiet, then even louder (and more vulgar). he has this air of "coolness" surrounding him, he does not need to say much to get people to respect him. Anyone who knows me can say that that will never happen to me. Everyone trusts him and everyone, including me can tell him secrets and confide in him.

Wen Hui is the one female person that i can trust the most. there is quite an interesting story to how i got to know her as a person, but that is another story for another day. She was in the same class as me throughout the secondary school years. Anyway, she is interested in Jay Chou and Survivor and korean and jap dramas, all of which i find retarded. But despite these, i find that she is the one person i can talk to whenever i'm down. Anytime i need help i know she will do her best. She is a quiet person who likes to stay at home and read or something, unlike me.


Jelena is another one of my close friends. Strong believer in Catholicism and good samaritan all around, she yearns to travel around the world, to places like kenya to help them. She is optimistic at best,which is the opposite of me. Interested in dirty and racist jokes. She is a very fun person to talk to simply because she can be very random.



I feel like an advertising agent for writing this
anyway, i hope friends really do last forever as im writing this
then again, i simply hope



-I AM NOT BEING EMO WHILE I WRITE THIS-
-STOP CALLING MY POSTS EMO-

can someone tag my tagboard, its very very old and rusty




www.lightamillioncandles.com

exams

it rox to have your exams end just before the weekends
that means your weekends wont be wasted

this day

continuing from wenhui's post

today we reflect...
we reflect on our differences
we reflect on our similarities
we reflect on the triviality of life
the triviality of the things that are supposedly making me sad

when you have something to be truly sad about
everything else seems so small in comparison

then i reflected about god (see how i use small letters)
if he/them exists
he owes me an explanation
i hate him/them a lot
i wish he/they would stop causing natural disasters

i really hope they do not exist, at least that way fate wouldn't exist
everything would be simple, no hidden symbolism behind everything
no more "lessons", just hard things that we need to do so that people won't kan us


we reflect on fairness
was it fair



we reflect ...





www.lightamillioncandles.com
helpp

fking bitch/bastard person

a few people will probably think that im refering to them
but the actual one im referring to will never know

isit possible to hate someone enough to want them to fail in life
people in sr think im violent and crude
at least im getting the point across

tomorrow we'll be visiting Gabriel
hope he is having a much better time than me
he probably is
we miss him alot
i miss him alot too
he never spoke much to me
but still
some part of me still wishes he was here instead of me
a lot of times i get under pressure
the kind of pressure i give myself
the kind of pressure others give me simply because they expect me to be that good
the kind where people depend on you
i look to him for inspiration
he's the only one i know who was up to the task
who could do things well and talk things through
maybe if he din go, i wouldn't even remember him that well
but still

its not worth it


The Man Who Can't Be Moved - The Script
looking for this song for damn long
heard it 3 or 4 times over the radio, couldnt catch the lyrics properly
the song sounds very nice, very touching
its actually a story
a man decides to stay at the street where he first met the woman he loved
when the woman is no longer with him, he decides to stay at that street until the woman comes to find him, not moving away despite the police finding him.

it's very touching to me, i have a simple and naive way of thinking
i just want to block out everything that makes this world imperfect



www.lightamillioncandles.com
help a child

happy 2 days after national day

went to plaza to watch money no enuff 2
when eating at subway, heard popping sound, den thought its not cuz still very early
den when we finally eat finish and go out to watch gt lots of stupid tress and the dumb ymca building block the fireworks
in the end see smoke and light nia

DO I LOOK FUCKING EMO TO YOU?
WHICH PART OF ME LOOK EMO TO YOU I ASK YOU?
IS IT MY TOES?

long hiatus

wow long time since i last posted
its i think 2 months after my last post
excluding the euro 08 thing, i dun think it counts

anyway.
life has been busy in SR
always really tired at the start of the day, in the middle of the day, and at the end of the day.
so just tired all the way la
i got 13 for ranking points which means must buck up

or commit suicide

whichever way's fine
i figured if i told my friends i thought about suicide, they would think im joking, like always.
its funny how some people in SR find me funny
when there is a significantly less amount of people who do so in holy

i figured its because theres always someone funnier than me in holy, like keng hong and wayne, which apply to different groups of people by the way

i lost my train of thought




anyway, i just remembered.
oops i just lost it.



ohya, i was thinking about the fact that i don't really establish concrete groups of friends, like cliques anymore after sec 3. in sec 4 i just roamed around the class looking for people to talk to, usually they are the ones sitting the closest to me because im lazy to move around, but i do sometimes when the teacher is out of the class, or when i feel like pissing the teacher off. but the thing i like about this "fluidity" is that i can understand and know more people and not restrict myself, however i sacrifise the companionship and trust of actual friends, which why the people i trust are the ones from sec 2.

i think i have trust issues, but it cant be because of my parents, they ask me about my life all the time, im just too lazy to say everything out.

anyway, this fluidity has carried on to my tiem in SR, not forming cliques with anybody, not in class or cca. i get worried sometimes.

well, life's like that.

oh ya, my class think my gp is very amazingly damn good. WHY? i scored relatively more for my diagnostic test, which i still failed. so i dun really have a reason to be more "gooder" at gp than everyone else, just can't understand them.

oh and junqiang thinks im a bastard
while chen thinks im a dog
while julian thinks im a slacker
while loke thinks gs means glennard sucks

hmmm





www.lightamillioncandles.com
almost forgot

EuroNews

Council training camp

tough
actually still not bad la
no need kanna hamptam when we stand on 1 leg
hahas, npcc ppl should noe wad i mean

anw
its fun
and tough
and difficult
but satisfying
i feel accomplished

first day
when gathering, got ppl late
so kanna scolding
den we were give this folder with 10 pieces of paper inside and we were supposed to open them up at different times of the camp
i will just say about those paper that are significant to me
anw the first real activity (other than talking and intro) is to clean up 7 classrooms
we were given some buckets and mops and stuff and we had to clean the whole classroom
spotless
the first time we din know much
but we did clean until what we felt was clean
that there was inspection
TAs checked for dust
use finger to wipe the door railings all that
so obviously we failed
then we did it a second time
it was much better
we cleaned the dust off the switches, the windows ledges, the tables
all the hard to reach and difficult to see places
but we passed the second time
so we were told to open up paper number 3
it wrote
you have just completed 2/12 hours of a worker's load, thats 1/6
so its like we run here run there only scrape out 1/6

then after that it was dinner followed by pitching of tents
we had to pitch tents at the fitness area
at first the TAs din give us any instruction
so we din ask for any help or guidelines
we just went on our own and did wad we knew
btw its not those giant peg kind of tent, those new odac and obs kind
then we took 33 mins to complete the first time
obviously that was too long
so we had to dismantle them and pitch again
we did it in 16 mins
so we were quite relieved

the next day morning, we had to do morning pt, run a little less than 3km
run liao go do pumping. while in pumping position we had to remember all the hod names
obviously we dunno
so we went down
and down
and down again
we ran from pumping position to the board at general office 3 times before
we actually thought of getting sprinters to run there and get all the names so we dun have to
ya so we kanna because we din think of that, not because we dunno( even though we still dunno at tt time)

after that was lunch and prepare for the trek though macritchie
lots of people over packed and ended up with lots of stuff to carry
when we reach there we had to arrange all our bags such that we had our hands free and not carrying anything
mr bernard tan was our first aider and instructor there for the trek
so at first it was dam hot, everyone gt tired very quickly
but we had to move on and close up all the gaps
so behind people had to run
i was actually at the back, den i rmb that the behind people always have to be very fit and fast because they have to run and walk and run and keep changing so its very tiring, i moved to the front
we walked until 1 part where we went in the forest itself, not the path anymore
we walk until 1 part where we were supposed to choose our locations for the tents
i was the ic for my group at that time so i had to tell my grpmates that the instructions
i was told that we cannot assume that the group knows waht and how to look for it
must always tell them
so we got out of there because it was too small
mr tan gave the compass to rex to figure out the way out
he did, although he took a harder route to reach it

when we reached the end
we had a simulation
where a few of us were dead or blind or a casualty in some way and we had to bring them to the main road
i failed as an ic because i couldnt give instructions when everyone had their ideas to contribute
also mr tan was scolding and shouting so all of us felt stressed
the hardest part was when we had to carry darrel out along with all our bags
so we split up, some carry bag, some carried casualty
later rohith died, so we had to do the same
when we finally reached the end, we were tired like dogs

anw we walked back the same way we came in and had our dinner at night on a grass patch
there were a few casualties by then so they were a bit slower
we walked from our dinner place to the night walk trail

the night walk was unique
we had to walk through a forest trail, but there was light stick to guide us
but we had to do it solo
first time still ok
2nd time the lightsticks was removed, so a few of us sort of panicked
but they still went through it

we went back at night on bus
where we took out another paper, number 6 or 7 i think
it wrote, we walked 25 km in 11 hours, still feeling doubts about the 10 km will run


anw on the third day, we had the pumping session again, this time we pumped less
but we had to remember the subject head's name as well
actually they weren't trying to ask us so much on the content per se, but actually they wanted us to speak up confidently


at the end of the camp, we had to do strengths and weaknesses evaluation for all the campers except ourselves
we also had to vote for the various exco positions
survey says, al-olympia is going to be the next president, with samantha being the vice prez, or ibrahim if they wanted a mix of gender

it was a great camp
it wasnt tough because it had a 25 km trek
i was tough because we have to do it as leaders
as student councillors




www.lightamillioncandles.com
help save a child today

school

YAY I'm In Council

there was a long weekend 5 days ago which lasted 4 days
everyday i had to pass by dhoby gaut mrt station
dam sianz leh
first day go play lan at E2MAX
played cs with 1s11
den 2nd day go watch iron man with 1s09
den 3rd day go republic poly watch muscial
whcih was very nice
den last day go cathay do gpp

dam tired
slept at 10-11 on all days

anw nothing much to write
just that i have alot of homework i din do yet

When You Realize That You Have Something Greater Than Than Yourself To Live For, You Will Not Only Understand True Motivation, You Will Know Why You No Longer Tire, But Most Importantly, You Will Find Meaning And Purpose In Your Life

POST 100

yay post 100
i cant believe it took me 1 year and 1 half to reach so "many" posts

anyway
weekend was relatively good
managed to push quite a lot of work away
pre-u seminar stuff will be taken care off by calvin
not much thinking left for student council

left econs essay which i supposed to have handed up by friday but didn't and maths tut 2 n 3 which was late by 1 week
but other than that im cool

right now i downloading some gc games
tried to look for some super mario
but they din have it
den when i tried to transfer some games
i relised i lost the cd
so i had to donload it from the net


anyway
if theres one thing im glad for this weekend
its that i did my chinese compo on friday

but if theres 1 thing im not glad for
itz that i couldnt find friends to come with me to watch a free movie which i have tickets of
anyway i couldnt think of anything nice to watch so i gave the tickets back to my parents

My life as described by different people

I have a friend who once described me as this song





I'm Just A Kid- Simple Plan


Honestly, when i first heard of this, i was like, are you sure
then i thought about it for a while, she was quite right.
anyway, at that time i was thinking more along the lines of



How To Save A Life- The Fray

i din really know why i made this suggestion, maybe it was because i liked them so much

but anyway, at this point in time, its quite ironic
i can only say so much right now


i planned to write about this song thing for about a few days
but its only when i write it now, i can truly feel its impact





www.lightamillioncandles.com

week 2 in srjc

It has been 2 weeks of srjc in term 2
i passed interview for student council


homework is beginning to creep up

there's pre u sem stuff
rally stuff
and pw stuff

and then there's homework

notice that pw is on a whole new level above normal homework
that's because it is
we have around 4 days before deadline
and everything u don't feel like doing right now becomes a liability tomorrow
so imagine that liability doubling each day until u reach the day before deadline
by then u would need 4 hours to finish a 2 and 1/2 page chinese compo because you cant focus at midnight
i cant do homework at midnight
but i dun feel like doing it in the afternoon because i feel as if its sucking my "funtime", the time when im most alert( and thus reason enough to devote it to "fun")


so that kind of system works for more or less every proposal
4 days till deadline
so that kinda sucks


there was this council "elects" (ppl who passed the interview but aren't exactly councillors) briefing this afternoon
we had to prepare a poster, a speech and a campaign
poster sucks because i hate putting my face on anything, but otherwise manageable.
speech sucks cuz i have to talk about my reasons for joining and my aspirations on the dais, or podium and say it in front of everyone
campaign sucks most because we have to do something "creative but feasible" which doesn't involve giving sweets
so now for the weekend

i have pw which im gonna finish either now or tomorrow afternoon
speech plus poster tomorrow night
and then some miscellenous homeowrk on sunday

AND actual filming for pre u sem video on monday
on top of that i need to learn flash from kenneth
great weekend








www.lightamillioncandles.com
help them

End Of Week 2 in Srjc

why wasnt i this tired during olevels
jus 2 weeks and i am going to die of tiredness

nothing much happen during this 2 weeks
except homework
lots of it

this school is really embracing the online technology
that sucks
because your homework pretty much doubles or triples

i gt selected into the pre-u seminar thing
means 5 days 4 nights at some local university
woo hoo
i think it happens on school days too
but theres a problem
theres around 29 ppl selected but theres only 25 empty slots
effectively that means 4 ppl will not be selected
but they only tell u that after u do the work
so technically they could get you to do all the work and still not let you enjoy yourself
that sucks
hope its not me


theres also student council interview
i sucked at the interview
i just kept repeating things i said before and say things should be run like military
that is not good
i dunno
its cuz npcc took up half my secondary school life so i dun really have much to talk about
but at least im nt too bad
edmund had to sing the school song for the teacher
and some ppl were asked," where is mas selemat?"
wtf
anyway i think i wont make it past the interview

ya and we went back to get our o level cert last friday
met up with some hihs ppl and go together
we take already den walk around the school to look for teachers
most of them were in ptm so cant find much
i saw tan bee tin but she was talking to a parent so i din disturb her
den we sat at the canteen and talked about stuff
like being embarrassed in sec school when we say go srjc might as well go poly
hahas
everyone there said tat before and look where we ended up
we also talk about initiating our own cca
which jingyi was supposed to write the minutes of in a blog
havent checked it out yet
hope she has actually done it



and thats how my last 2 weeks went




www.lightamillioncandles.com

disgusting

I vomited through my nose, and i saw GREEN undigested little pieces of vegetables from 24 HOURS AGO come out of it

stomach problems since the morning
so had just bread with peanut butter
den slept till 4 plus
den my parents say eat some food
so i eat bread again with milo
den stomach felt worse
so my mum used some chinese medicine powder thing
that actually induced vomit

so i vomited within 10 seconds of drinking the powder
and everything that came out was orange
AND IT CAM OUT OF MY FRIGGIN NOSE
of course from my mouth also la
but there was and still has a very disgusting vomit smell in my nose
DISGUSTING
i hate chinese medicine
in fact i hate all medicine




wwww.lightamillioncandles.com

not a good day

oddly today is not a good day

my morning was good
no big mishaps
just had a nice breakfast of wanton mee at school
then followed by our first project work and econs tutorials
just some games and intro sessions
nothing big, nothing serious
then chinese tutorial
where i din do the work
but she was very xia lan and said expected
good thing her kind of xia lan is funny
den break
go library get research on the pre u seminar
i did a qns on religion
did there for an hour
den maths lecture
which taught trigo
and i slept
a teacher woke me up
but din scold me
den break again
den go library again
then ct period
chose class committee
i wasn't in any part of it
so that was cool
den i went for the pre u seminar audition/interview
at first was quite nervous
but i din show it to anyone
i just listen to some music and cooled down
den it was my turn to go
lucky my teacher was good
mr kok i think his name was
at first i cluttered my first few lines
but then lucky he din do anything to make me even more nervous
den i went on smoothly for the rest of the speech
he said that my strength was in that my research was very wide, not focused on 1 topic
den i went on to my impromptu speech
which was on death gives meaning to life
so i spoke about life , that death makes u want to accomplish things before your life ends
makes u cherish life and the time you have
i also spoke about gabriel, 8/24
i said that he made me realise that things can end abruptly
need to take hold of the time you have now
and he was a very good "judge"
he gave me very positive comments
like how i would make it into council and that i was confident
few ppl have done that
but i cherish each and everyone of them
so i felt good as i went home
den i go home and makan
den on the computer and read some blogs
and talked on msn
which made me very sad today
it kinda sucks when everything is going so well and 1 little thing can change your mood
damn, and i was having a good day man

few people have made me feel good in a long time
would you like to make me feel good today
sms me now at 97337272

jus some shameless advertising
hahas





www.lightamillioncandles.com
help

CRAZY crazy things

This week

school was boring
with all the subject talks and all that mumbo jumbo
new og on wednesday
tt sucked because i have ABSOLUTELY positively NO new friends there
despite the fact that i know possibly 20-30 ish ppl there

so i basically picked the same subject combination again
tts SMPE
science stream, H2 Maths, EconS and Physics
but i changed h1 from bio to chem
BIO sux

as for cCa bazaar
as they call it
i picked tennis
big surprise there
i never picked up a racket and played any tennis before in my life
so decided to try
the catch is


that i have to pay 100 for 1 year if im nt in the school team
so that sux like hell


2nd cca i chose
was student council
even bigger shocker

ya tt decision was basically quite easy because it makes a damn good testimonial when you applying for university or even your job
besides the white tshirt looks cool


3rd choice is the biggest shocker of them all
i took DANCE

MUHAHAHAHAHAHS

i lost my mind
i guess its one of those impulse things
im prone to doing really REALLY ridiculous things
such as writing who i liked on my msn nick
and trying to roller blade up a hill
but its interesting
and it looks cool
so i will see how it goes
i mean after all im not exactly lean meat
so its not very aesthetic to see someone as FAT(FRIGGIN FAT) as me trying to do hip hop

and everyone i told laughed in my face
and they laughed, laughed, laughed, laughed, laughed, laughed, laughed, laughed, laughed and laughed somemore
i NEED YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT NOW!!!
in this CRUCIAL time
but i din expect them to encourage me
after all, even i wouldn't encourage myself
hahas


ya and 1 more thing
there are so many christian (catholic) racists that i know of
so what you go to church and identify yourselves as one religion so you can make fun of someone elses skin colour
all the shit here shit there
im sick of hearing it, because its FUCKING OFFENSIVE
they may not take offense to that personally
but that doesn't mean you should say it right
HEY LETS GO CHURCH CAMP AND TELL EACH OTHER BLACK JOKES
whats more there is very little malays and/or indians in CJC right now
making it another effective platform for stupid jokes
and im sure someone will be thinking they are just jokes
yeah, they are right
we take it so casually because we listen to them so often
I REALLY CANNOT STAND MUTHAFUCKERS LIKE THAT
even if they are my friends
can world peace exist in this lifetime
certainly not with those people around
and a significant part of them are catholics or christians, i realized
so what we have to believe that creationism is true and darwin was wrong
JUST because it is written so


and no, indians and malays shouldn't be called shit
now should they?


and this will be one of the really ridiculous things i do for a living
i can be a damned daredevil from now on
hahas









"If we are all God's children, then what's so special about Jesus?"--- Jimmy Carr, comedian, hated by christians (LOL)



"YOU ARE A SICK PERVERTED TWISTED PYSCOPATH! YES FYI THESE ARE BLOODY FLAMES IM SENDING YOU! WHEATHER YOU'RE CHRISTIAN OR NOT IT DOESN'T MATTER THIS STUFF IS NOT FUNNY ITS CRAP A LOAD OF CRAP AND DISGRACEFUL AND DISGUSTING YOU SHOULDNT EVEN BE ALLOWED ON FANFICTION! YOU'RE DISGUSTING GO DIE IN A HOLE. AND YOU CAN PRAY YOU DONT GET STUCK!" -----A typical Christian showing humility and forgiveness in the face of lulz.


gs
doesn't believe in god because he made christians, most of which dont exemplify his beliefs
www.loljesus.com

OMG

Why did the stupid n95 8gb increase in price again!!!
and my stupid n73 drop from 250 to 150 in trade-in


btw
emmanuel made me realised that OMG can actually stand for oh my glennard


OH MY GLENNARD!!!!

hahas



www.lightamillioncandles.com
im making a statement
starting with you

Why Does Everything Seem To Go Downhill For Me, And The Beginning Wasn't Even Very Good To Start With



figure that one out

2cha chalet + vday post + new year

today is valentine's day
still nothing to report

but more importantly today is the last day of the 2cha chalet
around 8 girls out of 26 and almost every guy from our class went
i cant believe i just realized over the past few days that everyone 1 there was either gambling masters or learning to be 1

they just gambled and gambled the whole night
most gambled on blackjack
play until so hiong that they can all stand on table wait for the card to open
then everyone scream

i learned mahjong again
and its fun
but i don't know how to tell who want what tiles

so they just played the whole night
then next morning all either tired until sleep or go home
then there was barbeque
which was normal

anyway before this
i went to penang
to pai nian
i played firecrackers again
i accidentally dropped a rocket
then my uncle panic and quickly aim the rocket somewhere else
he nearly got burned
and he got angry
the rocket hit the wall and exploded

anyway now im addicted to mahjong
so anyone wanna play!?!


www.lightamillioncandles.com

o lvl results plus post 90

gt back o lvl results on thursday
not the best of results
a frigging 15
but i couldnt really complain

at first i got my paper
i was liek 15?
my cousin gt a 9
but now i realised tt
only 10 ppl in my school could have gotten 9 and above
whats more is that he could have factored in cca and bonus pts
but i couldnt care less

but i was sad at first
then i tried to laugh so that i wouldnt cry there
its more or less a simple philosophy i have
but anyway
what really pissed me wasnt really my results
my mum's godmother ( which is my grand godmother, now that i think about it) actually called me tt day and asked about my results
so i just said 15
then she said tts good what tt means u passed
"now in retrospect i should have shut up here, but no i chose to keep saying)
i said ok la, alwin(my cousin) gt 9
orh liddat ar nvm still quite good
then i went pool at dhoby gaut
so FAST FORWARD to at night when i reached home
my mum had tt really sad/disappointed/angry face
so i was like i gt a 15 ,k still quite ok can go in jc
then she told me the whole story

apparently after the call my godmother told my grandmother(which was her sister) pretty much everything i told her
then she calls my mother and says
cannot like that compare 1
you son get 15 very good le

i hear already i want to take chopper kill her liao lor
talk until like i worthless like that
like my mother cannot produce smart children
so what her bloody grandson got a friggin 9
he not even the same surname as her arh
bloody hell

so as i hear finish her story
i felt very angry and also very sad at myself as well
i feel as if i let my mother down
make her throw face
i cried there on her bed
then my dad told me to choose whether jc or poly
i was still having teary eyes
so i told them i would take a shower
i cried there too
i just felt like my immediate family,
my mom dad and brother were ostrasized by them
most of my cousins were tan
me my brother and 2 cousins( my eldest uncles' sons) were the only sim
as in the 3rd generation
and they both are not like them
they are very kind and they think of others before themselves
something that seems to be lacking in my paternal family tree
maybe its because of their upbringing, they are not very rich
unlike the tan


but anyway i try not to think of them as much as i physically possible
which is difficult since we HAVE to visit each other every new year and good friday, which they make use of to sao mu, or pay respects to the deceased


anyway, i put tampines jc and catholic as my 1st 2 choices
hope i get in


remember what i did last year around this time of year
i tried to compile a list of what people felt and thought about me
so as to properly make my new years' resolution
this year i planned to do the same
but everyone seems busy
maybe i choose less people to give their opinions
maybe 6 or 4
but they will probably be close friends

well, we'll just have to wait and see




www.lightamillioncandles.com
light 1 for the children

SRJC Orientation

The jc orientation is finally over
after 2 long weeks

the first five days were seriously boring, very very boring
there were subject talks where you'd sit in the hall for close to 2 hours
and my first orientation grouping was not very memorable
i honestly contemplated leaving the school and not coming back for the rest of the days
and the sample lectures sucked
alot

but then came the last 3 days
everyone was reassigned new groups
this time, it was much more fun
because we could open up more
and there were games to keep us occupied

there were hell lot of fun
everyone was writing in their surveys
too short
must be longer
my second group(the fun one)
were more ready to speak up and try to lead in cheers
at least better than my first one
I also met a friend from primary school
PAUL
we didn't know each others names at first
so i just said u from hips 1 right

hahas
easy starter conversation

also
for this orientation
i felt different
i wanted to stand out from the rest
be a leader
because i remember myself back in all the past camps, sec 1 sec 2 sec 3
npcc orientation also
i remember telling myself to shut up, even when i had a good idea
because i was always afraid that they would shoot me down
den i become very lau kui
very jia lat
then i look back and realise that
hey if i kept quiet i ended up after 4 years with nothing but a sergeant to show and not even any quartermaster or squad leader or even any best cadet award or something
den you will regret for the rest of your life
just like mine, always thinking, how i wished i spoke up more.

This time, i chose to speak up
i wanted to stand out from the rest
i at first tried being loud, but after the first hour
when it was not getting me or even any of us anywhere
i tried teaching the best of the best cheer
because our cheering was "subtle"
hahas
ya so i tried
and it feels good when people is paying attention
and then u tell them thisthisthisthisthatthatthatthat
and they actually listen!!! OMGWTF

hahas
yeah of course no one can master anything so quickly
then ended up having i shout the first few words den they just continue
but its good to know they actually tried
im not a student leader so i dont know how that feels
den play station games for all 3 days but the thing is that everyday gt like different "theme"
like first day is just normal
den second day is water games
and then third day is ra-ra games which is quite rough and competitive

when we dominate certain games,its usually because of individual brilliance
such as me when i tried to pass the chair from the back of the line in the first game we played as a grp
or paul for the taboo game, where he said american pa giu and the eagle puiA(fly in hokkien) in the sky
or sam and brenda in the passing out ball, their muo qi very gd can together carry so many ball across

we rocked
period
and i always forget how to cheer unless is my own cheer, so we everytime kanna confusion

i was also part of the aquila performance because i got forcefully "chosen" by my ogl
nicholas and xue fong
cuz they know that im loud
at first very xia suay
but den i sabo michael aso
so we tried our performance
and in turn made even more new friends
i think the performance group will naturally bond because we all have to work very hard together and come up with a performance in 2 days
so we will like go into overdrive straight away
something like how ppl will only study very very hard just before their o levels
something like that
oh ya and i gt kanna whack in the nose during our performance
but at least it looks smooth
and the mascot really flew and i feigned being beaten up

and the amazing race,
i brought nothing but a bottle
so i carried the flag most of the way
it really reminded me of my 10 km hike with my npcc unit
when i was as nco
we were always pushing for people to
CLOSE UP THE GAP!!
hahas
and the crossword puzzle has very ridiculous clues
like no coke only pepsi
which is kfc
and the crossword puzzle was very difficult to even find the pieces

So thanks to all the OGLs, especially nicholas and xue fong, as well as our teachers, mr Ho and mr Lee.

NEWYEARPLUSPOP

happy new year
but not much with the happy

i mean yeah i gt an xbox360(hinthint)
but i would have rather enjoyed more time out with friends and family
so it work both ways


last year i had a bunch of ppl whom i asked what they felt about me
that was so i could figure out what i did wrong last year and do it better in 2007
i wanted to do that again this year, but everyone seems so busy, no ones really online, so bo bian
everyone is busy as heels, so im bored


this holiday was supposed to be spectacular
i was gonna do this, do that, play this, play that
now it seems very meaningless
everyones off to work or whatever the heels they do
no fm with the 4 la liga teams
no soccer every week
no actual fun stuff
just work all the way
even the chalet was messed up ( the word "messed" is supposed to be replaced with the f word ) its called a 4hum chalet
not a private get together
the last time i checked 4hum had what 40 odd people excluding teachers
less than 20 were there
and even less stayed overnight
ending up with lots of excess food no one could eat( poor sherlyn, wee kiat, xin hui)
i mean hey its not their fault
but is the class of sec 4 humility 2007 seriously so pathetic, so spineless
or are we so very ashamed of our own class, we can't even come to a little gettogether, which they did not have the privilege of planing
BTW thanx to othe organizers of the chalet, sherlyn, xinui and weekiat and his parents! THANK YOU!!!





the biggest thing that happend before 2007 ended ( i used the term biggest loosely )
was POP
or passing out parade
it was the first of which we could use rifles or arms in the parade itself
so coming back to train brought back nostalgic moments
i honestly thought the parade itself was great
yeah there were a few mistakes here and there
but it happens
i just wished the day ended with the high from the parade.
the phototaking session after was also great

the party was abit less high
maybe it was because not all of us were there
the performance was there
the food was there
the atmosphere was there, thx alot to sec 1s and 2s
but something felt missing
i couldn't really pinpoint it
but i felt very strongly that it was because there were guests
i got the "vibe" that the people there were more or less entertaining guests
but thats just me you know

honestly, i know that everyone has put in alot of hard work for us
THANKYOUVERYMUCH
thanks
seriously



www.lightamillioncandles.com

Changing Direction

Yesterday must be a milestone for me
i have decided to change the perspective of my life
no more chasing grades
no more chasing girls, man

i mean i realized, after a long and engaging talk (with myself) (on the mrt)
my life wasn't meant for chasing girls or grades or money for that matter
i still haven't found out what it was for though
but hey, this kind of xia lan face surely not for girls to like 1, RIGHT!!
hahas

this reminds me of '05 when i made a very big realisation that no one cares about your birthday
it crushed me but i guessed everyone was just too busy, who could blame them?


I guess its time for this boat to to set sail on a new course

I believe there are 3 factors that affect what people do, and how they do it
they are logic, faith and emotion
Logic is the little voice inside your head that tells you not to jump off a 10 storey high building because you WILL die
Faith is a little different, it has a little bit of both logic and emotion, yet at the same time it contradicts logic and emotion, such as fasting on certain days.
I have stopped believing for some time, because i felt since there were so many, which one is right, but that (anti)belief has been cemented into my head by THAT DAY, the day i(and many others) lost a friend.
The last thing is emotion, you know anger, hate, love happiness, that kind of thing
in short, because you feel close to a friend or family, it makes you wanna try more than usual to help them

i have stopped faith from interfering with my judgement
and now im going to stop emotion on the day 4/12/07
the only thing affecting my judgement is logic
and if i ever lose that, you can see me in woodbridge
but must make appointment first, hahas

just like how i stopped celebrating christmas
sighz


Money saved
from birthday gifts since '05: $70
from Christmas since '06: $20
from chasing grades: $10
from chasing girls: >$100
Freedom( at least partially): priceless




To the friend i chatted with after work: yeah, we're just friends, good friends



To eugene( you MUST read this hor, bugger): wah lau eh you ne mu xiao xi cannot trust one leh, where gt chance, no chance arr!!


REAL Madrid 32
BARCAlona 28

inyourface






www.lightamillioncandles.com
Make a difference

Prom

Prom Was yesterday

It was fun

i lost my lucky draw ticket
but its not like i would have won anything

anyway big shockers for prom king and queen

wayne gt 3rd, everyone gasped, hahahs it was so funny
sheryl ( i think thats how it spelled) won even bigger shocker
everyone who knew her ( emphasis on the knowing her part) knew or felt that she was acting cute and wearing like cosplay or anime or stuff like that, but she won, so i guess tt wouldn't matter

everyone thought vivian or linda would have won but guess not


it was a fun night



www.lightamillioncandles.com

A gyroscope is a device for measuring or maintaining orientation, based on the principle of conservation of angular momentum. The device is a spinning wheel whose axle is free to take any orientation. This orientation changes much less in response to a given external torque than it would without the large angular momentum associated with the gyroscope's high rate of spin. Since external torque is minimized by mounting the device in gimbals, its orientation remains nearly fixed, regardless of any motion of the platform on which it is mounted.
--- Wikipedia

In short, the gyroscope can rotate along its axis with complete freedom from all 3 of its supporting columns .
Likewise, we can move to our own rhythm and pace but we need the support of our family and friends,
for without them, we are nothing


the gyroscope can only function when it is spinning.
we cannot, ever, stop moving and contributing to our society
if we stop at anytime, our heart and our spirit will start to falter
it will be difficult to keep trying
its about the same as dying inside, being a physiological zombie, theoretically


as we continue to spin, there will definitely be forces try to stop us, like friction from moving constantly, the psychological and emotional fatigue that comes with motion
but we must never let it stop us
ever


we must never let those who support us down

not our family
not our friends
not anyone



www.lightamillioncandles.com

WELCOME TO THE END

OF THE O LEVELS

<>

now is the new age of staying to play games and watch tv instead of mugging ( which i never really did )


ALL HAIL NOVEMBER 13th!!!

I'm Zidane!!

Which soccer player are you? Zinedine Zidane You are Zinedine Zidane! You are very humble but inside you know your the best. You would rather have a great assist than a goal. You can beat a player or two if you need it as well. You are a well rounded player. Myspace Quizzes

Quizzes are fun


i tried a few soccer position questions
most of them were just 5 questions each
so i doubt they were very accurate
plus i did'nt know what strong meant
(does it mean you can kick the ball far or when you tackle aggressively)

so most of the choices were
agile
strong
finisher
last ditch takle
save goals

pretty much like that all the way
but it was quite fun

got 1 midfield result
1 center back result
and a few others i cant seem to remember

but i didn't get any side backs or wing backs
which is my preferred positions since i can run up for assists and defend
but i don't mind defensive midfield
its similar


english and maths paper 2moro
from 8 am all the way to around 4 - 5 pm

vive zizou!!


www.lightamillioncandles.com

!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 111!!!!!11!!!!!1!!!!!!1!e^0!!!!!sin 0

Note that its spelt ex-CLAM-a-tion

not ex-CLAIM-a-tion


so now you know, remember to spell it exclamation mark for now on


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!11!!11!111!!1!!



www.lightamillioncandles.com

2 Days Before School Ends

10/3/07
rite now
mom's birthday
Happy birthday
Hope You Have A Better Birthday at work than me


anyways
i realised that a LOT of people decided to post on 28th and 29th september
and they posted nearly the exact same thing
"im not gonna blog until after O levels"
or something to that effect


Eugene is recruiting peoples to go CRUBBING (clubbing) with him
interested people please go and find him before he bugs the hell out of me and everyone else
lolwthroflbbq


realise i have been using a lot of "colourful language" recently
alot more than normal actually
maybe its stress getting to me subconsciously
yeah right

THERES NO P.E TOMORROW BECAUSE THE WONG VEI LI TOOK IT AND REPLACED IT WITH A AMATHS PAPER2
Dude, allcaps rulez, EEVVAARR




www.lightamillioncandles.com
light 1 for the children

Anime Theme Songs

Dude, Its The World's Cutest Song. EEEEEEVVVVVVAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!







With an even cuter voice actor(the actual voice actor or sakura),EEEEEEEVVVVVVAAAAAAARRR

DA x 21

DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA



The Simpsons rock
now that i have access to their episodes online
(which Im going to tell you about!!!)


L1R5 Sucks At 18
L1R4 at 13

PRELIMS SUCK
alot!



Watching Air Gear Recently instead of ... you know ... studying
http://images.google.com.sg/imgres?imgurl=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/8b/AirGear-01-01-006-007_EDIT.jpg/300px-AirGear-01-01-006-007_EDIT.jpg&imgrefurl=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_Gear&h=241&w=300&sz=18&hl=en&start=9&um=1&tbnid=6NOmscjklqkTLM:&tbnh=93&tbnw=116&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dair%2Bgear%26svnum%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN

about some pimped out rollerblading boyz who go move very fast


and jump

really really high


pretty much it
tho im still at episode 17

AND AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER SEASON THREE PREMIERED YESTERDAY in america
freaking americans always get first pick


anyway
science dropped
maths improved
eng and humanities maintain

My father says that seeing as how my results sucked
he actually plotted a route for me to take over his job or as a more qualified person for his job
but that takes more time
it involves me going to poly, taking opthamology, going to some overseas university, or NS, whichever comes first


so in theory, going to poly actually means
more time wasted, i mean spent on learning
more effort needed
less chance of actually completing the whole route
NO chance of picking a course that i like AND
100% chance of screwing up some where

Im sticking to JC
saves time, effort and gives me the freedom of choice
since my dad only wants me to go university regardless of my subjects

my closing statements:
A MATHS IMPROVE FROM D7 to A2
IN YOUR FACE VEI LI AKA YOU-CANT-SAY-BLOODY-HELL-IN-FRONT-OF-HER

Post Prelims Post

PPP

Prelim Sucked, ... A Lot


No real mood to really study, so really didn't, really
I feel as if i don't have a direction to move in anymore

remember the time where you would wake up and be all excited about thinking what you were going to accomplish, like finish a game or read a book or even watch a tv show.

I forgot how that feels like
Its just everyday wakeup, goschool, eat (ive been doing that a lot when im bored), den sleep

nothing really stimulating for me
very mundane, monotone

Time seems to be passing me by
and when january comes im gonna regret it
then i will probably jump
because i cannot imgaine the pain of slitting my wrist

but yeah life's been boring


exams were difficult as hell, because i didn't study
got a stupid c5 for bio when i was aiming for a freaking a1
ss gt 31/50, gt a heart attack when gt back essay, was like HENG ARR essay 20/25


shld really wake up
Glennard, How are you going to get an A1 with your attitude right now?!??!?!?!?!
You should just wake up and stop dreaming, because this is not a test anymore, This IS the prelims and you are flunking everything, How are you going to Junior College? Huh? I thought you wanted to go into that Nanyang JC, You THINK they want students like you?HUH?

dam pissed off about bio exam
shld really stop dreaming
and admit to myself that im not really that smart
i probably couldnt get 11 even if i studied
everyone is just being polite
the test are probably set too easy
whe the real thing comes
you'll see
you'll see that you are just A PATHETIC GOOD-FOR-NOTHING THAT IS WASTING ALL THE FREAKING TEACHER"S ENERGY






i wanna drop out
and forget everything...








...everything





www.lightamillioncandles.com
im too [insert adjective here] to comment on it

bdae post

06092007
nt much really happened

at 0000 hours today 3 ppl smsed me and 2 ppl called me, giving me a heart attack in the middle of the night
but i appreciate it, THANKS!!!

in the morning more ppl started to sms me and say happy birthday
i think more than last year, which is good cuz it means i made more frenz, yay!!


played pool at 1145
at hg plaza
played for about 1hr +++ with eugene and wayne

thats pretty much the only celebration i had

i actually went to school during the juniors npcc campcraft training
cause haoxiang same birthday as me
den go there celebrate with him

so waitwaitwait for about 4 hours
den when they finish they just buy bubble tea and go home
go home read his blog then realise they already celebrate liaoz
so i effectively wasted 4 hours doing nothing
so go home sianzed
to haoxiang:
you gt really good friends man
cherish them forever


so about 1.5 hrs left till end of the day
so a little too late to really do anything
but my parents did celebrate with me, so yay i gt a cake
most of sec 4s studying for prelim so cant really blame them
plus now 16 liao
have to be mature
cannot cry, cannot point finger at others,
hahahas!!
have to accept people's problems


nvm i gt 1.5hrs of celebration!!
tts 1.5 more hrs than last year !!!
yay!!!!

short little note 1

8.18pm on tuesday
about 12 mre hrs to ss exam including sleep
still nt really studying, at all

i forgot what i wanted to write here initially
but i did remember a part of it

finally the class tee is done and thankfully it didn't turn out to be a disaster
thanks to everybody who said it looks good
and even more thanks to those who helped me
theres actually an extra 21.50$$$ which wasnt accounted for
there was some error in their part
i haven't told the class cuz the consecutive school days were teachers' day and exams so no chance
but if u did read this
give a few suggestions
cuz im too lazy to tell everyone in class
its just $21.50 so nt enuff for ice cream


many people said that the design was good
which was quite a relief for me
i was quite worried that people thought it sucked
but the good news is that when some of us went around looking for clothes
there was this middle aged salesman selling jeans to us
he said he does shirt printing as well and showed us one of the shirt which was very very nice and onli $13 a piece. it was a polo tee with no names or numbers or wadever
he asked to see our design and said it was good and asked me if i could design for him if i have any free time
cool, what an honor man!!
he said he buys artwork from local students or citizens, prints them on a shirt and sells them
which is quite cool actually
but since this year olevels so bo bian no free time

really tired now
still cant remember what i wanted to write





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Not A Good Week

Aug 20 - Aug 24
is nt a good week

Unfortunate things happened 1 after another
and the worst thing is to have lost maybe more than just 1 friend

1) Went out of the class cuz gt no file on Aug 20
2) Handed in a crappy maths file on Aug 21
3) blablabla (dont say here) on Aug 22
4) Completely forgot how to do physics, the science im banking on for A1 on Aug 23
5) Gt scolded by friends + enemies over 27 dollar issue on Aug 23
6) Offended a friend + his friend on Aug 23
7) Lost a Friend. Rest In Peace, Gabriel Goh on Aug 24

Not a good week at all

Have you ever gt the feeling that because you are a man, you cannot show emotion
when it overwhelms you, you will feel very ashamed of yourself, especially when others say that
so you try to act as if nothing happened afterwards, then the people who didnt see you show emotion will think your heartless, or something


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Losing Faith

To Gabriel Goh Wee Siang:

You are a great student
An even greater man
You have many accomplishments that i cannot even dream to have
but yet you passed so quickly
so suddenly
all of your friends at HIHS, 2charity 05, 4sincerity 07, and 6E 03 are missing you, including me
you are not a quitter
and you never said offended your friends
you are a catholic by faith

so please help me ask the man upstairs

he said that he has a plan for each and everyone
is that all you were meant to do?
are all of us the only people that will experience you?
if he had a plan,
is that it for you?
or was it for an even greater plan for the ones around you,
the plan is so great that he had to sacrifice you to do it
you, of all people
the scout,
the student leader,
the friend,

im starting to lose faith in every religion
Can someone help me?



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Open...

Open
Do you know where i want to be right now?

Right there beside you




www.lightamillioncandles.com
...

Really Insensitive Questions

After Reading Some Other People's Blogs
and from conversations with other people

i realized what kind of world i lived in
"the world is beautiful, yet the people who lived there weren't "

Here are some very VERY insensitive questions
If you think you will be offended, please don't read
i will refer to everyone by name
including my friends

Chances are, some of what i wrote there are wrong, so correct me, besides I'm already being so brutally honest.


To Bryan:
Why is it that you study ( a lot more than me ) and yet you get very low scores, as if you didn't study at all?


To Wei Quan:
Is it worth being a Chairman and adding one more thing to your already impressive list of achievements, when you are forced to make decisions that will hurt the ones that you were supposed to lead and become the dog of your superiors?


To Zheng Yang:
Why are you wearing the tie when we all know you hate it?


To Evon:
Does staying in the EXCO for 2/3 years collecting money and writing down staff count as experience in the sense that you know how to deal with people better? eg. How can you believe a newbie counsellor instead of me when i have stayed in the EXCO for 2/3 years ( Because I think i have more experience than you in handling people while working for 1 month )


To Wayne:
What if it was you were fat and people were laughing at you for being fat?


To Caiyi:
Why must talk as if every statement was directed at you, as if everyone was talking to you?


To Wen Hui:
Why do you remain friends with a hypocrite, AFTER knowing that they are hypocrites?


To Xiao Tong:
Why do you remain friends with a hypocrite, AFTER knowing that they are hypocrites?
(Same Question)


To Chun Ling:
Why are you such a hypocrite, and start scolding me just because your friends are too?


To Grace:
Why must you type at everyone else's tagboard that i decided to "lock my blog up"
And Why do you cheer when theres no lesson even though you don't participate in it when there is a lesson?


To Wei Xiang:
Why do you talk so big and yet do so little?


To Eugene:
Why do you deny it (your relationship)?


To Miss Tan Bee Tin:
Why do you keep saying i can't achieve my goals, when you tell my parents that i can because i am intelligent?


To Joan:
Why do you think phark shouldn't be said in front of you, when you say shoots and oh my tian regularly in front of everybody? ( Its just another slang word )


To Guan Zhong:
Why do you deny studying after getting high marks for a test, but not when you get low marks for 1?


To Xin Hui:
What is wrong with my pool table fund?


To Sirs and Ma'ams Of HOLY NPCC ( Probably Not Everyone ):
Why did you always scold us for our mistakes, while you can laugh and joke with the 4 when they commit one? ( not always, but it happens quite often that most of us realizes it)


To Qianru:
Why let go of your hatred for pretty much everything? eg. 2 charity 05


To Miss Lim Lin Lin:
Why do you need so many people to be your lackeys? Doesn't the SLB have enough people that you need those CCA Leaders


To Mrs Wong Vei Li:
Why must you always chuckle a bit ( Hum Chio ) After you scold someone?


To God / Buddha / Whoever:
Why weren't humans made perfect when you have the power to make it so?


To Myself:
Why am i doing "art" when i clearly suck at it?




Qns: Should I really post this entry?
Ans: Yes


Everyone must question their own conscience some time or rather
and i realized that prayer helps you connect with your god, rather than make you find your own mistakes

Sometimes people cannot see their own faults, including me

Sometimes we need other people to tell it to us straight, no sugar-coating
Its not worth being sensitive to feelings when nothing gets done.

Chances are, some of what i wrote there are wrong, so correct me, besides I'm already being so brutally honest.


If you hate me after reading this post, too bad
But ask yourself, Am i accusing you of anything ot merely making a statement not intended to offend you?
remember to check the definition of "accuse"

"The world is beautiful, yet the people who lived there weren't"

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Goals

Took Back Our Chinese olvl results on monday
got a c6 with merit for the oral
not gonna retake because i most probably won't use it for l1r5

Had English oral today
could have been better
but when i saw those 2 examiners
suddenly panic
then a lot of things planned to say but never
could have been better, a lot better


with only 1 week +++ to prelims
its about time i set some goals

these are my targets for prelims
English B3
Humanities B3
E Maths A1
A Maths B3 or B4
Physics A1
Biology A1
Chemistry B3 or B4

but im still not working hard, at all
plus those targets can only get me a 12 for L1R5
shyt

i REALLY wanna get a 9 for L1R5 for Os
REALLY REALLY
my targets for Os
English A2
Humanities B3
E Maths A1
A Maths A1
Physics A1
Biology A1
Chemistry B3

mostly to change after getting back prelims results
if i were to show my am and chem teachers my goals
they will probably laugh
out loud
then i will be emo after that
haha
...

sometimes i feel that my Os are just to prove to other people that Im not stupid
i dunno why
i just wanna get an A1 and laugh in their faces
and then they will say i know you will get 1 la, i just trying to push you to work harder
sianz
but what if i don't
they will be laughing at me
sighz

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Pass The Message

i know i started it without everyone's ideas
i know there wasn't a theme
i know only maybe only bryan or nisha wanted me to design
i know my design sucks
i know i was stupid to not ask for help
i know i was stupid enough to only ask for people whom i know will support me
i know i should not have wasted time to go that far
i know i was stupid to waste other people's time
i know that alot of people didn't like my design but never said anything
i know many people din like my design because it was mine
i know i know that wayne is a much better communicator than me
i know that i will shout when i speak to people i hate
i know you are stubborn
i know you are very stubborn
i know that mr tan is a good teacher
i know that everyone has different views
i know i should not have taken anything for granted
i know she only sa jiao to some people
i know i suck
i know i suck alot
i know i suck alot at design cuz im nt an art student
i know people probably have scolded me in their posts
i know alot of you hate me
i know ONLY polo has that specific texture that you like
i know you are allergic to black
i know 38 people must change their views just so you 3 can be happy
i know my friends are all fed up of you
i know the class is ready to go to war
i know you are blocking me on msn
i know im blocking you on msn
i know that the class's opinion is important
i know i took my friends for granted
i know you are the boss and im here to serve you

guess wad?

i don't really care
but since you can't really read the message
i will ask those who can to pass the message


http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/everybodyhatesglennard/
Sign Today!!
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The Power of Silence

Some pharkers need to learn to shut up
as in really stop talking and think for a little while
help them make tshirt make so much phreaking noise
u so pro u make yourself la
no one stopping you wad
bloody hell
dun pay dun pay la
like i earning your money liddat

eh please la remember wad kind of small fry you are before you start making so much noise
the whole class only you one person and that b*tch making noise okay
you think wad, say redesign den redesign so easy arr
say change colour means change colour so easy arr
you ask some other people make they also will tu lan 1 leh
is no energy fight with you nia
cuz you overwork them by asking them redesign wad
u so pro u do la, need me for wad
make me waste my time spend 2 trips go queensway and some ulu place

texture not good not happy
gt collar nt happy
colour too black nt happy
picture too big nt happy
gt number nt happy
uncomfortable nt happy
too expensive nt happy
so pro make urself la
irritating pharker

still gt 1 more b*tch
never do anything keep asking
eh so is polo or jersey
polo or jersey
eh pharking irritating leh you noe
like if jersey means will lose your arm liddat
a stupid pharking reason like this make my friend cry
eh ask yourself, is also your friend leh, this is how you treat your friend 1 is it
somemore is more of your friend than mine leh
you know wads her rationale for stopping
is cuz she know you are tt type of ppl leh,
even your own friend pity you, tts why be your friend
you honestly think you got attractive and sociable personality arr
even conscience also dont have, only have other people sympathise for you
pharking b*itch

Anyway, if you are a reader of my blog, chances are that you are not those 2 b*tches
today during recess i ask wei quan write on whiteboard to bring 20$ buy shirt, gt extra den return
so during chinese lesson, they ask me is polo or jersey, see her face so pissed off liao, so just say 1 word jersey.
she shout across the room "ehh jersey leh, i dun wan buy liao"
so i shout back from beside her " DUN BUY, DUN BUY LA"
she look back at me say " gt talk to you arr"
bloody hell
she can shout i cannot shout arr
den keep talking among the girls, say wad jersey cannot, uncomfortable dunno wad shiite.
like the texture can make you die liddat
think wad toxic arr
those girls only like 8 odd people with maybe a few spectators
den onli about 2 people talking
so that 2 people influence everyone listening
somemore say that they represent all the girls leh
how is it possible that they represent all "27"(i dunno where she get this figure) when i already know of at least 6 girls who are not for their ideas
den keep asking the same stupid questions, polo or jersey?
answer until tu lan liao arr
so while they doing [nothing productive]
I or rather the boys tried to ask for the size of their pe t shirt so we can average the size when we going there on wednesday
den 5 mins later they keep asking
wad colour, wad design, wad texture
so wenhui go there and explain to them
explain liao still ask somemore
somemore is ask the same way as some gangster would ask you "ehh you borrow my money when going to return" that kind of tone.
of course i tu lan la
say like i owe them money liddat
den tt b*tch call wayne, say dunno wad, den he ask me draw the design at the board
i draw the design which we found to be less than 20$ at queensway
den they nt happy, say gt number as crest very weird.
bloody hell never see before say weird
tts not even the worse part yet
keep saying dun wan dun wan cannot put number, liddat very weird
den their own people say dun put number means like copy unity class tee
wad the hell
you want everything to look exactly generic (IE the same) but you still want unique
you are contradicting yourself rite
i stand there shout that line in chinese or singlish or sumthing
ready to shout somemore
den i remember i still in classroom and mr tan still inside
so i stop as a sign of respect to him
den wayne keep taking my phone show them number at the crest is not weird
they see liao nothing to say, so start to argue about the colour
say black not nice
i tot that was settled like 3 weeks ago
think so easy change colour, change yourself la
bloody hell i hear liao dam tu lan lor
lucky wynnie was their "representative"
den even more lucky she understand that cannot change colour so easily
den for some reason she can convey that message to them, thankfully
and the best part is she also don't support them, hurray!!
many people said then that the class was divided by where we sat
and we were ready to go to war
i "send" wenhui there help me explain to them the design
during the second time she go there
her own friend was arguing with her
as if she from iraq liddat
please la
wad kind of backstabber can you be
anyway by looking at her facial expression
we knew she was failing
den me and guanzhong at the side kept saying must send wayne liaoz
den suddenly she walked to the toilet
naturally at least 5 girls followed her
i was damn pissed off at that time lor
if no teacher there i confirm shout back or even throw a chair
i followed them out after a while
lucky she there laughing liao
if not i will be damn guilty
anyway, we tried to compromise
because they couldn't send a sample without us paying
they bo bian must send people there to represent the girls
if the representatives can agree to that SPECIFIC texture or colour or price over THERE. den we settle there liao, no more changing
guess wad that b*thc say
orr i go la, but i cannot on national day celebrations cuz i go out celebrate wad birthday watch wad jay chou movie
so you expecting us to change the date for you la
bloody hell
den the 2 pharking representatives they send HAD TO BE the other b*tch and her best friend
great i have to spend 1 pharking afternoon with them
bloody hell
i hope i have enuff friends to talk to then so i wont shout in front of the shopping center



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What Art Form are You?

Photography. You are probably one to see things from new perspectives. Often times you can be called the peace maker, because you see all sides of arguements or issues. You're well-versed and controversal. People are drawn to your creativity, and most often times wonder what you're thinking. They can't tell what you're thinking, which makes them want to get to know you better! You're a sweet and caring person, who is family and friend oriented.Personality Traits: Kind, Caring, Humble, Loving, Lovable, Optimistic, Romantic, Sensitive, Rational, Confident. Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

A Story Of (insert name)'s Life

you know how people always keep saying
this is just another chapter in my life
the story of my life will be interesting
or the story of my life will not be interesting (IE low self esteem people)

So i gt to thinking
you know how a story have main character (protagonist)
the supporting characters (eg robin, superboy, anyone other than the simpsons family in "the simpsons" and blahblahblah)
the kind people will onli remember if you talk about the main character

so what if your role is only just a supporting character in someone else's story
you were only there to maybe say a few lines that motivate the protagonist so he will feel good about himself
or you were just there to set off a chain of events such that the main character can save the day in a heroic fashion
i mean what if the only purpose in your life is to play seconds to some main character so that he can get a happily ever after
then the story of your life would be " how some idiot lived his life so he could do things that motivated the hero"
if that kind of story came to bookstores, would you even think about it for 2 separate occasions, much less buy it.
i mean could you imagine going to heaven and when "god" or whatever you think the judge is( i dont promote religions)
when he is reviewing your life in a convenient DVD format while you watch nervously beside him
he says " hmm, so you manage to motivate the hero in a typical fashion so he could save the day and/or get the girl, you get to go to heaven ."
If it was me, i would be wondering " so i got to go to heaven because some bastard save the day, not because i actually did something worth going to heaven for, My life must've sucked"

Sometimes i get the feeling my life is like that, but counselling and immediate phsychiatric help changed that

Anyway, speaking of "getting the girl" I've never been a girl but i actually wonder what those type of people are like.
maybe they just sit around all day waiting for some hero to kiss them
or maybe they are perfect in every manner and extremely intelligent , only to serve as some mindless slave doll for the hero/villain.
ever get the feeling that when you read the book, everything the girl seems to do only alludes to the fact that (you think) the only reason she's doing it is so the protagonist will like her ( or so you thought)
i don't think i will ever figure that out, so i wont bother

But there is this one aspect
the villain ( dum-dum-DDDDUUUUUMMMMMM)
you know, the antagonist who only serve to hurt you, and in some aspect make you a better person

i wonder how their book would be written
the protagonist would speak of him as if he was a devil
and then he would write as if he was a hero and he hurt him for a good reason
nevermind im too bored to write any longer

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desparation

i din realize i was being so despo
maybe im just trying to get attention.

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hormones sux

Caution: Every Sentence With The Word "I" Is Fiction, You've Been Warned



Damn all these beautiful girls
they onli wanna do you dirt
they'll have you suicidal, suicidal
when they say it's over


damn these hormones
life was so much easier before girls came into the picture

that's why it'll never work

u think so easy find arr!?!

My friend once said
this kind of thing cannot find one, nature will take its course
but by then you have to learn to take initiative

stupid eugene!!

he found his already

mrs ganesan once told me (in her car) that the trend in 4humility classes
is that by prelims most of us would have found a stead

how true that is
who knows

they say we're too young,to get ourselves sprung
oh we didn't care,we made it very clear
and they also said, that we couldn't last together

nothing really meaningful in these words


Everytime evon and eugene talk about their relationship, i just stand there and hear, not really knowing what is going on


i wish i could do a handstand or bicycle kick

girls have caused me to make too much changes to myself
and yet none seem to realise that
maybe cuz everyone is making the same changes to themselves
so no one is really standing out
everyone hair gt spike/put gel or wax or wadever they put in their hair

I hope im not still a bachelor by 25, seriously
i miss my old life
stupid hormones had to mess it up

apparently i don't have any photos of me with my friends
maybe the result of not having the habit of taking photos or not having friends
i think its a bit of both
yet a whole lot of nothing

i feel sad everytime i visit my own friendster page

can someone shoot me
then replace me with a clone so nobody finds out and doesn't feel sad about it
its a little complicated but its worth for my friends and family



kinda like my anti depressant
i believe i can fly
see me running thru that open door
i believe i can fly

everyone's talking about their him and their hers
then their best friends have to tag along when they get into an argument etcetera
if i had a her
i wonder who would be the best friend to tag along
but more importantly, who would be the her

sometimes i wonder if i am misled by beauty
maybe so, maybe not

im not a big fan of being positive
i NEED to talk to someone honestly
someone who wont get shocked or surprised or judge me
i desperately need to go for counselling
i feel like harry potter except i dont have magic to help me

can someone counsel me
because the me you see at school is just a big ideal picture of some slacker who is happy go lucky
i tot that was me
until i realised there was another me trying to break out of that cage
for one reason or another
and i am dying day by day
until all thats left is a cage with someone dead inside
and all you see is just a ideal happy go lucky slacker
and you dunno why he went insane

!!!!!!!!


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