post 151

woohoo post 151


been a bad week
but trying to keep positive
succeeded a little bit until like about 10 seconds ago
when i read my tagbox

i write like a few posts a month for the last month, a few tags start trickling in
then the moment i start to point fingers, everyone starts to get defensive and say hey man frog in well, myopic, short sighted, biased, self centered.

that kind of comments

and ya i have had my share of really really nasty comments
every year
except 08, which was lucky

controversy generates publicity. in 7 days i generated like 34 hits or less whereas it took me around a month to get the same. its kind of unfair
it sort of satisfies the attention whore in me. just so you know

anyway, i am going to read their responses, so i don't end up being so myopic, you know. must learn from mistake. THINK FLEXIBLY.

and now i'm back

caixin doesnt have a blog so i can't like say much, and weijie did not grace me with a blog reply, so i aso cannot say much, and most importantly, my friend Eugene who is not from SR wants you guys to forgive me, strange


ok, so i need sort of like a response to respond to such responses to me responding to them, taking a goddamn photo.

wow

what a responsibility. and to be absolutely clear, i treat them as my friends, if they no longer do so after seeing what i write, i can't really blame them. but i write this way because i am blunt. stubborn maybe, but i'm definitely not trying to make any enemies here.

unlike 2 years ago


so caixin and weijie comes from 2 different perspectives.
lets' address weijie first because it is like easier. what i understand is that, if i work hard enough to achieve what i want, and enough glory has been bestowed upon me, i need not pick up litter, or some minute things like that. that view is what my mother has been trying to tell me all these years, and she's not wrong. the only reason we work hard is so that we need not do crap work. but the your focus of working hard is not to improve, it becomes to get out of this shithole, which to me is the wrong attitude. (again understand that from it is from this train of thought, not necessarily your own personality or mentality, wei jie.) so ya it kind of is wrong not to help. pele and zidane both made tremendous contributions to social situations in their own country, despite their success because they remembered that it was their country and their families and their people who supported them and gave them what it took to succeed on an international stage.

then theres the what makes me so certain they didnt help. i'm not, everything i understand comes from what i perceive, so if i had not perceived that you help, naturally i would have had the general understanding that you did not, UNTIL someone tells me otherwise, (does that make sense? it sounds kind of ok in my head) if i didnt see a tree get struck by lightning and that's why it's on fire, i would have thought some punks or dry weather, UNTIL someone told me otherwise, in a condescending manner or not.

and there kind of is nothing wrong with the photo, now that i think about it. i think

and then comes the frog in the well. Aren't we all. the only way not to be one is to know exactly what is going on with everyone in the world, so tell me, do you know what i do for council everyday, also no right, so that kind of makes you and me equal, (except that you didn't judge me or just that i don't know of it.) so now we're officially not equal. i'm the frog who made a noise, but you're the one who didn't

so thats' about it for weijie's comments, now for caixin.

he said they did, so now i know, kind of. and it kind of wasn't possible to help me because i was not in need of help, kind of, they were. " don't base you assumptions on me" "*base it on yourself" kind of did not make sense to me. what i think it means is that i shouldn't base my"assumptions" on other people, probably the stuff about pride and stuff, which still doesn't make sense.if gp teaches one thing, its that never ASSUME, and theres no absolute in this world.

so i cleared it up with caixin, he says that if i assume something and once it offends someone, its called accusing. which i now am guilty of. but that knid of wasn't the point of what i wrote. what i wanted to say was that when people work hard to attain glory, they will forget about the "little people", which based on my assumption is correct, but it is a biased view because i did not make sure that they were absolutely not helping them before i implied that they did not help others.
so that was kind of the falw he pointed out. i hate losing an argument

but the loser bodoh thing was absolutely true, because i absolutely heard it with my absolute ears. absolutely

when i talk negatively about myself, i think room for improvement, people think emo kia. when i talk negatively about people in general, people think i gt too much time. when i talke negatively about certain people specifically, they think im finger pointing and start to become defensive. all people are like that. me you bush obama track team councillors teachers principals staff canteen aunties. everyone.

in hindsight if i had not "finger pointed" maybe people would not have responded. if i had used the word sportsman or competitors people may just skip on through them and pass it by. but that was not the point. theres not point in being politically correct if you are just saying things that people already know. i have a unique style of writing and speaking in that i want to use words that provoke thought, make people think, make them reflect on why the world sucks and whether or not it is really their fault.

I live in an unfair world because everyone in that unfair world is being unfair to someone else. including me. that is why i remain pessimistic about everything and it generally hasn't let me down. or up, or whatever. i cannot understand the rationalization for being optimistic, like its ok you'll score that A next time or at least you tried your best. know that you tried your best merely gives you an upper limit. if you know you tried your best but failed, are you supposed to feel good, because i wouldn't. i would say this is not my best, i could have worked even harder and gotten that gold. trying your best becomes like an excuse rather than an encouragement.

oh ya and theres the mysterious Eugene who is supposedly in poly now and doesnt know much about my sr life. i just spoke to the only eugene i know and he just thinks sr people english powerful. so i don't know what your trying to do, but i unknowingly scolded my friend because i thought it was him. so congratulations.

go there now
www.lightamillioncandles.com
NOW

number 150

p0st number 15o

sr olympics was yesterday
gd job to all the organizers
now they know how hard our job is
hahas

all i did tt day was watch people run and then play upwords with michael desheng and sihao

but 2 things happened that day that really made me think

firstly, cheerleaders
no doubt, everyone was talking about them, i was telling a few of my friends we wont be seeing them anymore next year.
they did quite a "sexy" (close to being slutty) dances. and i was sitting next to my friend adam, who was once a cheerleader and i told him, that's not cheerleading, thats dance. he agreed. firstly, you had to give them credit for taking iniative to things like that, purely voluntary. so with that out of the way, they did mostly dances to pop or hip hop music dancing with their asses. there was 1 move where they just, in slow motion pointed their ass into the air swayed their asses across for like 5 seconds. so obviously, a problem in conservative singapore. lots of girls i talked to immediately mentioned slutty out right, no arguments there.

but then again,


it made me think, who or what made such "slutty" moves slutty in a negative sense. im not trying to defend it. it was stupid to do it in a school environment, it would have been better in a bar or something. what i'm pondering about, and inviting you to think about as well, is why is putting yourself out there, and attracting the opposite sex, such a taboo and looked down upon kind of behaviour. people tend to retort by saying, it cheapens them. but think about it, it is the person or persons who see them cheapening them, rather than they cheapening themselves. the difference is that their actions are the guilty party, but the people who perceive it and jump to conclusions. thats' my philosophical viewpoint at least, if you can call it that.

if i can speak for all guys, (which i probably can depending on how much u think of me as a guy) i would say that i am not very disturbed by this, but some will probably find it very attractive. For me particularly, i feel that it was a change of pace, not the best one, but changes should be appreciated for they are refreshing,( i don't know how much sense that made, but anyway) to me those girls are putting themselves out there and flaunting what they have, i would see them as the ones guys and lesbians target first in a bar, bang them and leave. and i think its going to be on a regular basis. i'm not saying that i may never meet someone like that and have them as a potential life partner, but who knows.

after that much talk about cheerleaders.
lets talk about something else. afthe sr olympics, i went looking for some friends to have lunch as we had a meeting later. so i went down to look for them. naturally or instinctively, i had this compelling urge to help them, even though i didn't want to help them. so i went to clear out the torch holding thing which had a lot of oil and hot water. thats not really the point. the point is that many competitors passed by us and the "official" helpers, those organizers and their volunteers, very very few volunteered to lend a hand. and more strikingly, because they were all wearing the same attire, the track team did not offer to help. so what i saw was them walking around the pe office with their medals and their jackets and their pride just walking around and posing outside for a group photo at the field. it really strikes a chord because you,(or just me) got this really strong vibe that they are the ones who are going to win but they dont spare a thought for those who helped them there, those who gave them the stage to do what they do best. this little line floated into my head that day. "in life there a winners and workers. winners put in all their effort and they either win or lose. workers put in all their effort and they either get recognised or forgotten." its quite sad. on top i heard one of them jeering at some mc or something for "loser bodoh", i cant really recall what it was about, but i remembered he was talking about the runners for sure.

life isn't fair, this adage is only true when you are the one at the disadvantage. no one who benefitted from unfairness ever complained. that is the ultimate problem. we know that life isn't fair only when we have problems, because we are self absorbed. we only know the problems that we ourselves face and we turn a blind eye when other people are suffering so we can benefit from them. Selfishness only leads to injustice. it's really quite a sad truth.


post number 150

www.lightamillioncandles.com

once

this happens only once

took me so long to garner so many hits, shows tt this isnt a very popular blog, hahas
anyway din get to change the blogskin in time

btw this is the 149th post

awesome


www.lightamillioncandles.com

Extension/Variation of the Chicago Opener

i need to put this here before i forget it.
if you don't wanna be spoiled the next time i show this to you don't highlight the words below

set-up
one blue and 1 red of the same card (eg. 1 blue and 1 red back ace of clubs) place at the bottom of deck, red on top of blue. meaning the blue is the last card of the deck

trick itself.
swing cut and riffle force. show the card and get them to remember it.
complete the cut in the exact same position. at this point, the order should be red ace, blue ace, their card, this 3 somewhere in the middle.
magical gesture then spread through the deck to show the blue
cut the deck so that the blue is on top
DL the 2 cards to reveal that their card has changed into the blue
close it and put it aside, but in their view, not in a pocket or something.. now the blue ace is at one side, the red ace is at the bottom and their card is on top.
swing cut again, but under misdirection or patter or whatever, drop the last card on the top packet to the bottom packet, showing the bottom red ace.
take it out and reinforce that that card is red
complete the cut keeping the top on top and the bottom at the bottom, meaning their card is still on top.
fan out and let them put in the card, showing that all the other cards are red as well.
now 2 things can happen:
1) (my preferred method, but needs a surface like a table, or the palm of their hands) take the blue card on the surface and spring the deck on top of it, retaining the top card as their card, to them it looks like their card "floated" up to the top, and then show the bottom blue is the ace, their second chosen card, as the finish. show every other card is red if they want to see.
2) same thing but reversed order. do a magical gesture. but show as if something went wrong and you cant find the blue card. then do some patter, to reinforce you screwed up and that the blue card is their first card. spring the deck show their first card went up to the top and show the last blue card is their 2nd card.

i can't remember

i can't remember the last time i said (or shouted) Oh My God out loud after i see something

this is gonna restart the whole counter again.

it was impulsively, Oh My God. kinda like looking at cute kitten scratching its head and going awwwwww

i don't know why i use the word god so often, impulse also i guess

The Observations Of G

you know how you have been seeing certain people throughout your whole secondary school life, but never really talk to them.

then you see these kind of people, whom you will never make the mental connection that they even talk to each other, actually outside of school at a cinema.

and then you realise that they are going steady and are already a couple. and you give that WTF face

all of that in a cinema in suntec, the old one. after watching Watchmen which you snuck into, but the auntie never bothered to check your IC. So imagine, WTF face in a cinema, after Watchmen.

and then a few weeks or months or who knows how long later. you blog hop and reach one of their blogs and see a picture of them together. again the WTF face reappears.

its really amazing how some people just don''t look like a couple when they stand next to each other. Bu Pei Jiu Shi Bu Pei

another observation of G

Isn't It Strange How Proper Lighting Needs An Umbrella To Work Properly

so strange

i wanna change my blogskin before my 10,000th visitor
but i can't find a nice one
all the other blogskins just don't "feel" like it belongs to my blog
weird

www.lightamillioncandles.com

Funny

the National Service Registration website
when did homosexuality become either a social or medical problem

or u noe that they need to know if you smoke and have tattoos

woohoo twilight

sux

hahas

now i actually have some kind of idea wtf the story is about, i will attempt to convince you that this is not a novel teenage girls or anyone, for that matter, should read

i will attempt to dissect this book

without reading it........................lol

this is coming from a guy, a physics student with no background in literature whatsoever. so it may sound a bit unprofessional and you know, honest.

i came across 2 articles recently, which brought up the topic of twilight, and vampires in general

Cracked article on twilight
&
Cracked article on vampires

lets take a step back to when vampires were cool, or at least scary.

vampires used to belong in horror movies, with vampires like nosferatu and count dracula
they used to be scary and bite people, and occasionally had a reason to do so.
but the emphasis is on the biting and scaring

taking that away from them is the equivalent of taking the funny out of chris rock.

then we fast forward and reach twilight era.

where vampires sparkle.
firstly, WTF
rainbows sparkle
unicorns sparkle
care bears sparkle ( see the connection )
vampires do not

2nd, it has no point or meaning, either logically or as a literature device, is sparkling supposed to represent some innate goodness that only edward and friends have, which the rest do not. maybe im missing something here, but then again, maybe im not

then comes the writing style
Quoted from cracked.com:

The series is characterized by its exemplary writing style:

"Aren't you hungry?" he asked, distracted.

"No." I didn't feel like mentioning that my stomach was already full - full of butterflies.


now you see why meyers (the author) and the producers are swimming in money.

so you get edward, meyers godlike boytoy and bella, the really smart girl whom everyone likes and is clumsy. because every protagonist needs exactly one 1 flaw.

so we go into book 1:
From cracked:

Despite being so plain, Bella is admired by everyone in her new hometown of Forks, Washington, especially Edward Cullen. Originally, Edward just wanted to eat her, but, disappointingly, realizes eventually that in fact what he is feeling is true love, and after a couple of days they start dating. After two or three weeks, Bella is begging him to turn her into a vampire because of true love.

then edward shows off his glittery goodness and they lie on the grass
Three hundred pages after "Oh, you like me too? No way, I thought you hated me!" and that kind of crap, the plot jumps out the window and commits suicide


book 2!:
realizing how much i wrote im just gonna skip ahead

lessons from this book

1) If a guy dumps you and says he doesn't love you anymore, he doesn't mean it. All you have to do is beg and destroy your life to prove that you really love him, and he'll come right back and love you even more!

2) It is perfectly cool to string along innocent but decent guys who are crushing on you and then dump them immediately as soon as your ex-boyfriend reappears, and totally normal if said ex-boyfriend forbids you from seeing your old friend. After all, your love for your ex must be far stronger, because he makes you feel 'alive' and 'dangerous' since he's always on the verge of killing you. And stalking you. We can't really mention that enough.

if you read the book, think about it, does it make any sense?

FOR MORE GO TO CRACKED.COM

common opinion about this book is that it was written as meyers sexual fantasies rather than an actual novel. at least harry potter could have a little suspension of disbelief, for a while.

examples of good novels for me include: Watchmen, The Dark Knight Returns and i can't really think of anything else

www.lightamillioncandles.com

random updates

been really tired lately
homework's been piling up
plus i bought burnout paradise which is fun
really fun

anyway
lots of file checks
so that means i nid to actually do the work
plus all the subjects have extra enrichment and special attention and all tt
so like don't be surprised to stay back til 8 pm with a teacher who's there to look at u do work

naha hasnt given me back my cards
and mr yong's training is killing my arms
just very tired

tts all i have to write for now
i had thought about quite a bit for the last 2 days but i can't remember

reflections

my bro just came back from his npcc leisure camp
brings back a lot of old memories
went looking for old pictures and looking at old friends' blogs
wonder what happened

when did they become "old" friends
when did i stop talking to them
time does that

anyway
gave him a bit of advice before he went off to his camp
i don't think he needed much of it
he had a kind of friendly personality, which kind of made him stand out from the rest
he would make a much better cadet than me
at least in lower sec

anyway, he told me he got nominated for best camper, got third place
i felt really proud of him
but i din tell him
i think he would have been the first
but i din tell him

anyway, he also told me that a lot of my "old" friends knew that he was my brother
i wanted to drop by and pay a visit
but never did
it never feels appropriate
feel like getting some of my old squadmates and just see a campfire or something
never did
don't wanna turn up like an unwanted guest
so i never did
anyone who is still in holy np, invite me back for something leh !

i dun wanna go back by myself
it feels really awkward
the people whom i talk to tend to be busy
while the rest, i dont have much to talk about
on the HI anniversary when i went back, i literally had nothing to talk about
i just went up, said hi, talked about a camp for like 3 sentences and just said goodbye

it just feels really awkward
hard to explain

saw a lot of them grasp opportunities given to them
regretted i never did
they are planning for events for an area 7 of around 8-9 schools when they are 16-17
while i took on my first school wide organizing in J2
always felt i had late development
like im a late boomer
or just a late


thing

i used to blame other people for not giving me the opportunity to shine, especially people in higher position
but now in council, and seeing my brother, i realized that it was never because there was no opportunity
i just never grasped it
my brother showed me that
just a little too late i guess
but like the principal says
you still have a long way to go, i mean i'm not wishing you any bad luck
but are you sure that you haven't passed the halfway mark of your life

i sure hope so too

anyway, miss the old days
wish they were back
miss my old friends
wish they would talk
miss my uniform
wish i could do drills in

miss np
alot


i think this is all nostalgic

anyone who reads this, still in np, let's organize a get-together, put all the ugly memories behind us and enjoy each others' company for a day


had the principal's rally yesterday
quite long
but interesting
i can't really remember what he said
but i remember dreams, perseverance, not knowing where you are in life

and horse breaking
and that swimmer
and lky and marina barrage
and terry fox

and that's about it

hope my brother can excel in NPCC


www.lightamillioncandles.com

BTW

My school ran out of water and i got a E for a levels chinese


and


my dog is afraid of thunder

really afraid

I Want To

Work In A Place Where Explosions Happen On A Regular Basis

Kind Of Like MythBusters, Except Less Cameras

Also, Lego, I want to work there too

or bartending, thats cool too

or teaching

or architect, but that needs an interview just to get into the faculty, nt even employment yet


in the mean time, i probably have to accept engineering
or soldier, NS!!


www.llightamillioncandles.com

should i

question: should i quit?

yay!

exclamation mark


yay somebody tagged

woohoo

anyway, today was um
ok
bearable rather


nothing much happened today
tried to stay awake during class
failed miserably
hahas

had my napfa yesterday
failed everything that people usually fail
got a pathetic 190 cm for standing broad jump
did 1 pull up
it was more like half but it din matter
exceeded 16 minutes for the 2.4 run
in fact i almost failed my sit and reach
first time gt 39
den gt a 41 next time
all because i was wearing shoes
shouldnt have listened to the teacher
my shuttle run was 9.something either a 9.4 or 9.8 i cant really remember
all i could remember was running very loudly and stamping it trying to stop

so tts my week, nothing interesting



www.lightamillioncandles.com
more people must tag!

Response

people ask me why i dont update often in my blog

i dont because people don't tag

i respond to changes
that's basically why i catch things faster than others

anyway if you wanna see me post

den TAG
it rox


www.lightamillioncandles.com
they rox too

All magicians are

lying, cheating swindlers

but you know what's worse
people who sell you magic (stuff)

basically, because you are buying an idea rather than an actual item, most of the time. they can charge you exorbitant prices for that idea

so today i bought 2 things, 1 thumb tip flame and 1 ghost deck

the ghost deck was awesome no doubt about it

but the thumb tip flame was just a goddamed fake thumb with a wick attached, the metal even came off after 2 tries
i am completely disappointed with this and best of all, guess how much it's sold in retail
$30
thirty hard-earned dollars
you cant even light it on it's own, its just a stinking fake thumb with a failing wick
this will really teach me to do MORE research before buying stuff
but still i did try and find videos of it in action but i couldn't
so i thought lets go with the gut feeling
which failed
damn


the thing about magic being sold is that many times you will never find out until you fork out the cash
for example, a tattoo joe dvd is sold on the premise that it will teach you a trick that supposedly makes a tattoo appear on your hand and then disappear. that tattoo can be anything, a card, a name, a kiss

it costs 75$


seventy five dollars


and i torrented the video only to find out that the trick only included one magic marker
the trick itself comprised of using pantyhose with your words written covering you hand

roll it up behind your sleeve and unroll as you show it


seventy five dollars for that

i feel sorry for people who bought it

sianz still missing my 30 $


www.lightamillioncandles.com

Orientation 09

fun
tiring
3 months of work for 4 days
worth giving freshman a good impression


anyway today is the last day, i was stuck with ava duty, which meant i din handle any technical stuff, just look after the ava people and give them instructions
so that meant i couldn't hang out with scavenger hunt people
thats sad

anyway, the finale went quite well, but it was only after close to 3 hours of rehearsals before we got to that level, if it was like last year, everything would have been screwed up.

i saw a girl at the beauty pageant which immediately caught my attention, she had a very outgoing and fun kind of look, that was an amazing look for her, but i wouldnt be surprised if she had a boyfriend, i mean anyone who looked like that is bound to attract attention.

i also saw a lesbian couple kissing, when neither of them looked butch. i was looking through the bus window at the station opposite so it might have been a guy, might have been


anyway, the teachers were the people who did the most for the orientation so props to them.



www.lightamillioncandles.com

Lessons On A Bike

Never wear long pants, especially the uniform kind on a bike

orientation has been going on for today
i gt first aid duty, even though im not a first aider
first day forgot to borrow bike so had to take bus, dam waste money
so borrowed the bike on the second day
now my butt very sore from going uphill and downhill so many times

on the orientation, the response from the freshman were quite good, they were quite responsive, only maybe 1 out of 8 were not that high
i stayed at pounggol park the longest, cuz its the furthest and i lazy go back, hahas
i think theres a lot of potential to really make them go even higher, but i seem to be the only one caring,
i dunno, maybe because i'm that kind of person


anyway, a few days ago i was looking around facebook and i saw a photo of my old primary school classmate, which is very shocking cuz it changed a lot. the photo was like 1 guy standing 2 guys sitting on the floor, at first i look at the guy standing den i tot it wasnt him, den i looked at the 2 sitting down, and realized that since they completely dont look like him, the guy who was standing, ie the one i saw first, had to be him. i was so shocked that he changed i showed it to my other pri6 friend yang. he was also just as shocked as me
so we were wondering, if they saw us now after so many years, would they see a big difference,
i don't think my face changed much, maybe just thinner a bit?

orientation still ahs 2 more days, lets hope it goes uphill from here

week 5

the week was quite okay, skipped a few lessons because of orientation, so even when the orientation part was over, just took my time to walk around school vefore heading back to class

got my black tiger deck, last weekend, chink just upped and say, go dhoby gaut la, when we were deciding wad to do after chem lesson. so i went there and bought tt deck, very beautiful, but not cheap, at 12$ a pop, i am taking care of them well.

anyway, practised some prestidigitation during school adn after.

but the most interesting thing this week has still got to be this

feel free to look at bigger version

shocking right?
me and a bunch of friends were walking down this road along kallang when we passed by an ad of the body piercing shop, so he said i bet you $50 bucks he wont do it ever in his life. so i was like high or something and said i do now la

then this happened, im still kinda shocked it did happen.

anyway, heres another picture,

anyway looking forward to peoples' reactions.
hahas, i think im still high







www.lightamillioncandles.com

Updatesz!

today is chinese new year so means got ang pao and skip school. but also means have to visit extended family, which sucks. anyway, does anyone know why i hate them. but tts not important


in the past week many things happened

we played rock band! me, chen, joel, darren, junqiang, yuan hong rocked at rock band. this is significant because its the first time i have photos to back it up, hahahs



and then there was the flag day
i neded to spend 5 hours doing flag day cuz i skipped school during the holidays, allegedly.
so i had to go for this o joy care flag day in kallang
i saw the map on the internet and then decided to take 80, because it seemed quite close. then i went and took 80, on the way i smsed kh jelena xt and yang to come out and kill time with me
kh cldnt make it, but the rest could, so on the sms we decided to watch inkheart
anyway about the trip, i just passed by the aljunied mrt station and then i decided hey its only a few more stops away, so i was like intently looking at all the bus stops which indicated where i am, so i sat there and waited and waited and waited, i waited until i realised i was in bugis, so i was like screwed, so i went out and took the mrt station, and ended up reaching 1 hour late, which means by the time my cip finish, i would have only clocked 4.5 hours, which is .5 hours too little. damn it, then as i was walking out, i realised that a 62 woould have reached here, damn it, my house has a 62!.

but that was the interesting part about that day, we, yang xt and jelena, went to plaza sing to talk and eat, so we went shopping for jelenas backpack first, then went to the coffee club to eat, and talk. so i showed some of my magic tricks, with brand new bicycle poker cards, woohoo!. anyway, some tricks failed miserably, but some were quite funny to watch. but we talked abit about life in a new environment, we should be studying, all that. by the way, xiaotong drinks faster now! so after that we went to sushi teh to makan. jelena started to ask me about some stuff like abortion, things that are in the moral grey area. so thats kind of what we talked about from that time all the way till the mrt stopped. we talked about religion and abortion and gender and lots of stuff, about how we process things in our heads. and we sat at the mrt stairs until they made the announcement that it was the last train leaving. anyway, there is a lot to be learnt about each other, we just never take the opportunity to open up.

now back to CNY eve, my brother wanted to go the chinatown, so we did, there wer a lot of china ppl there, like a sea of them, so we walked the streets, as we reached a junction, we started to realise oh shit, i can't move anywhere, it was likethis wave of people around you pushing and pulling, and i was holding on to my mother's hand like i never held on before, the "tide" was so strong that as my mother was pushed further in front, people immediately took up the space between her hand and mine, it was quite a fun experience, but quite scary also in the sense that we would get lost, but that wouldnt matter since we had handphones and money to take cabs. hahas. but, this is the kind of experience that kind of defines how much of life you have been through, that kind of thing.

anyway, im ending off here, and still don't wanna visit my extended family.



www.lightamillioncandles.com

BTW it's the dark knight

last friday, we had the first day of the pre orientation training camp, potc(pirates of the carribean)
it was quite fun, the GFs were surprisingly responsive and they were all very responsive, you could almost feel the vibe that they have pride in what they do work, so i hope they keep this up. the 5 houses also did a good job despite it being after their school and all.

the second day, a saturday, we started off with leadership talk by ms ang and mrs theng. i think they were the perfect people to give any kind of lecture because they are a lot more interesting and they can keep people engaged. anyway, it was followed by the amazing race which, we realised that the maps were printed out for them, so we had to lead them, and the route was quite screwed up so theres a lot more traveling by bus than required, plus it was quite a hot day so we ended up very shag after that

but the very uplifting thing was that, after that during the scavenger hunt. the people became much more lively, and the GFs were also much more enthusiastic, i'd like to think they influenced each other somehow. my house, Aquila starting running to the other stations, leaving ms ang behind running slowly in her what looks like expensive shoes. so i was really proud of them for being so upbeat during this.

after that was the warm fuzzys thing, people passed around cards with their names and just wrote good stuff and well wishes on the card. it was simple and cheap and meaningful, perfect for the school.

so at dinner time, we ( me , jelena and wen hui) went to pizza hut to celebrate the birthday of YANG, yay!. hahas, we ate quite a lot, and i blurted out about his cake, thinking that we forgot about it, clearly girls don't forget anything. anyway, the only people who caught the joke was like only 4. we went to pool after that to play for about 2 hours before going home


anyway, if theres one thing i learnt throughout the weekend, its that people like to be encouraged, and they work better when encouraged. but im not that kind of person, nobdy in my house encourages anyone else, we just say you better do this ( score well) or i will kick you out of the house. maybe that's why



anyway, really proud of aquila, hope they keep it up, plus i've been listening to some classic beatles songs, like help and please mister postman, and when i look at them, i find it very difficult to believe that they are the ones who do hard drugs like rockers, they just look so friendly




www.lightamillioncandles.com

A Thought-Provoking Paragraph

[He] Won, Harvey's prosecution, everything he fought for, undone, every chance you get for fixing our city dies with Harvey's reputation we bet it all on him,[He] took the best of us and tore it down, people will lose hope. They won't, they must never know what he did,

[He] cannot win, Gotham needs a true hero. You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain. i can do those things, because i'm not a hero, unlike dent, i killed those people, that's what i can be.

No, no, you can't. You're not.
I'm whatever Gotham needs me to be

Harvey, a hero, not the hero we deserved, but the hero we needed, nothing less than a knight, Shining.

They'll hunt you. YOU will hunt me. you'll condemn me, set the dogs on me. Because that's what needs to happen, because sometimes the truth isnt good enough, sometimes people deserve more.

Sometimes, people deserve to have their faith rewarded.

Why is he running, dad? Because we have to chase him. But he didn't do anything wrong. Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one we need right now. but he can take it, because he's not a hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector, a dark knight.


Anyone wanna take a shot at guessing where its' from

Today

today was a good day

i woke up at 9
came to school in hihs pe shirt
went to SR open house
skipped duty
laughed with mrs ang about skipping duty, people still cannot get over the fact that she did
went to AJC open house
saw some old friends
came back
waited for them to do the walk in
went to concourse
had a chat
a meaningful chat

so there were 2 things that went well for me today
number 1, i skipped duty in their faces, that was just fun, doing it in front of them and then having a teacher laugh along with me, instead of just ponning and missing out on their reaction

and then there was number 2
we had a meaningful talk where we voiced out what we din like about ourselves, by we, i meant some, by some i meant like 8 people. but the fact that we sat down and talk had to mean something
i'd like to think that i helped in one way or other to make this possible

i'd really like to have that assurance that i actually did something to help ourselves

it helps me sleep better at night




www.lightamilliioncandles.com
help them
we only need your voice

Stuff People Say 2009

that was actually the title of the text file i used to put what all you people said about me, i was just finishing up and then i put it in a TXT file and i realised that i din have a good name to name it, so i just called it stuff people say 2009. I told everyone else that i was doing a "self-evaluation" cuz it sounded cool at that time, on hindsight, maybe not.

anyway, anyone who bothers enuff to go back into the history of this blog will realize that i do this every year. or you know u could just know me, that would be easier.

so, in case u don't know what this is all about. the is a collation and analysis of all the things that people think they know about me in the year 2008. i do a little reflection about each and everyone of them and it helps me become a better person.

People chosen to judge me went through a immensely difficult selection process otherwise known as being online at that time. It pays to be online, and it pays nothing. i did one face to face, and i learned to never ever do it ever again, it is incredibly difficult to quote them because i cant write on my handphone that fast. ya, so lesson learned.

So on to the actually important part of this post.

i categorized them according to which group of friends they belonged to. im gonna leave out their names for privacy sake. what they say will be in ""double quotation marks"" and i write my comments below

The Student Council, or rather My Student Council

""i think you are frank
you dont care what other ppl think
as long as you think its justifiable, its okay
and like, you have strng and firm beliefs
like, you stand by what you believe in
sarcastic sometimes!
and you appear to be unapproachable at times (:
you are willing to help others, and you bother
can be a bit crude
but thats cos you dont think its impt to care bout what others think (which i agree with to a certain extent)
haha playing cards in the sac....
you dont realy believe in being a role model? idk.""

what really struck me was the you are willing to help others, and you bother part, i din think anyone noticed. strong and firm beliefs is good

""hmmm...my impression of you quite neutral ah...sometimes see you as a slacker, but not in a bad way...then you super laid back...like everyone else chiong proposal all, you just relax one corner...can be good and bad ah...see you slack like that sometimes a bit irritating, like we all got proposal to do, you nth to do...but most of the time not bad ah...like too demanding and all and asking us serious, then your slack-ness can keep our moods relaxed
low patience level like sometimes we planning and stuff, then you keep saying "faster leh""

That was actually the kind of personality i was trying to portray, i knew right from the start i din wanna be a mugger nerd type, so this persona was born. but what i din expect is that my supposed "slackness" can make people relaxed, i always thought its the opposite, hahas. Impatience is one thing i can't really change as much as i like because im just that impatient, but yet i can wait for hours on end for my computer to reboot and uninstall.

""at first when i dk you and judge based on appearance i thought you were some ganster pai kia, super cheena freak etc etc
then like your attitude also quite heck care kinda so i didn't like click at first la
but after like slowly knowing you, you don't seem that bad a person
i mean you're much nicer and that whole attitude thingy, thats just the way you are i guess
you either have to accept or not
although you seem really heck care, but i guess you do really care inside
you've just got that attitude abt you
maybe thats why you say you don't really click w council people
sometimes very qian zou
but after knowing you then its not so bad la
as in you will know that thats just part of you
i mean you don't really mean to be harsh but it just comes out sounding harsh kinda thingy
v hard to explain leh""

this really captures the fact that a lot of what i want to say is not really intended to sound nasty but it just comes out like that. and the fact that i choose my friends. and i do care.

""you're a helpful person, easy to get along with and you look like you're able to handle stress
I dont know you well enough to crap about you lah!
but you do seemed like that kind of person who gets easily angered""

I'm Helpful!! the stress part is an on-and-off thing, but the fact that i "look" like that kind of person is nice to know.

""i thought u r a good friend, like a council mate
cool" on the outside
and rather sociable i think
bad...
nothing bad ma..
i dun think u offended anyone, hahahaha
dun worry, you're a nice person
maybe make yr blog alive
yeahh, u didn't do anything bad what
like towards yr friends or teachers
maybe laugh more, come up with more jokes to entertain yr friends""

ok when the first sentence came out, i was like, huh u thought ar, that means past tense leh, that means u now dont think of it anymore la. oh ya, and if you haven't noticed it yet, some people think i can socialize while others think i can.

""hmm... basically its quite good
although most of the time its last minute but you will still manage to get your things done
i think that's all generally
start to remember things and not ask people to remind you
character... less apathetic?""

start to remember things is something very important, i should remember that. and i shows my amazingly astonishing ability to finish last minute work.

""u are quite a nice person
cause u will help someone when in need
very direct
cause u dun hide your feelings
u need more confidence
especially when showing your ability in front of teachers""

simple and short, nice.

""i think you are smart actually
like those with higher eq. can think on spot
not restricted to model answers kind of person
you are able to take charge of things when it gets out of hand smtimes
but sometimes you are quite blunt
like you want to say what then you will just say
regardless of if it's the right place and time to say or not
you irritating.
but i feel that sometimes you are quite aloof
like you don't exactly are on best terms with most of the people""

i believe in not being restricted to model answers so ya, i jus din noe that it is eq. i can take charge of stuff when it gets out of hand, its a gift, im not going to teach you, hahas. blunt part, already mentioned. oh ya and this is where i understood the meaning of "aloof", its a really fun word to say

""Moody cause must see feeling then can talk to 1
witty
fast thinker""

this was too short to be helpful because a lot of other people already said it.

Now, My class, 1s112008

they write quite little, but wad can u expect, we aren't art students for a reason



""hmmm
basically. u are glennard
wa jialat
damn hard question
i dunno what u want leah
u like to scold sometimes, is that counted?
but u scold too little than some ppl in our class, so its not that jialat
erm...
u think i am lame, (ok i am)
u like to say shut up la ( according to darren)
u are a happy go lucky person
smart
smart cause u dun really seem to like hand in hw, but then results come out zai
maybe cause u study a lot at home
u are quite a sensible guy sometimes, sometimes crazy
your character changes as the situation changes, quite adaptable to ppl around u
which is actually good la, like that can make more friends
but sometimes u dun look like a councilor
as in the ideal kind
very hard to explain this point
just not the nerd la
your display pic 1 year liao still haven change, very zai
ok super zai
sometimes u sleep in class
but is sometimes
well, that has got nth to do with what u want -.-
u are punctual generally.
mainly because i am taking darren as the benchmark. (LOL best late king)
well i dun really talk to u a lot, cause u usually mix with the other ppl...
but still not bad, cannot say never talk to u.
in between ba...
well... i dun go out with u, so i dunno your out of school character
sometimes u are a little bit emo
but not better than wee teck every lessons emo at the front corner""

i love this person man, helped the most. he said i am sensible, thats new, and adaptable, can change behaviour to the situation.


""-witty
-straight to the point
right now i can only think of these 2 lol
but seriously the only 2 things i see about you
that i can think of right now
smart,quick
straight to the point (like dont like to beat around the bush kinda thing, dunno how to explain, prolly you know what im talking about)""

bring smart AND quick is totally awesome.




""you;re the 'can hang out w anybody' kind of person
as in youre fine w almost everybody
[suck] at being tactful i think
like let say someone suck at sth
then you'll say it right into their face
sth like being too straight forward""

so i nid change to be less tactful or more tactful?


""not funny
when you wanna do the stuff you want you're notlazy
when you dont feel like it then you're lazy
a lil nerdy
average in sociability
you sometimes make unnecessary comments
like irritating""

right off the bat, not funny, sianz diao.

""what i think ah...i think you are an okay person to get along with. just that some times, you are dam guai lan (sorry im just stating the truth=P). in a sense you try talk back when someone said sth. but thts also your good point, cause you just want to speak up. just try not to overdo it, cause it gets on ppl's nerve at times""

i try to talk back to people who say something, its not so much a character flaw, than a bad habit

and then there's my PW group, i have worked with them like dogs, and i should be expecting more from them, the operative word being should.




""i think u are kinda stubborn
cuz sometimes u simply dun wan to see from other points of view
thats basically all the bad i can see in u
i think u are quite fun to hang out with as quite often u are fun ingeneral
i think u are smart as well
u are smart""

I dun see from other people's point of view because i tink my own is good, he is probably the only one to think i am stubborn and had the guts to say it to me

""i think you're capable of doing things, but at times when you do not yet see the urgency in completing a task, you would slack off, but when you do see the urgency, you do well.
smth like that
yeah the suck part is that often
esp at the beginning of the year
you dont see the need/urgency
so in my opinion, you slack off quite a bit
but however, at the end of the year, i think you worked real hard and yeah
you did well
you should socialize much more outside your friend circle
imporatnt""

so basically i do things when i see the urgency, fair enuff. and i nid to socialize outside my friend circle, but mine's a square, no fair!


And then there are 2 friends who know me since sec 1, if i grew at all, they would have noticed

""then....u taking up more responsibility lor..like joining council
but like still dun really study alot
then...though not same class but still same sch..but still will say hello to each other when see in sch lor
thats all i can think of..
okok..fine..then i think attitude like still same lor..
then dun study as hard as people but do better lor
u also nv changed much
stilll same same
nv change to the worst can liao lah...
nv change is a good thing ok..
dun think is sad thing lor...change too much mayb ppl dun like even worst lor
aiya..enough of ur evaluation liao lah..i already cannot think of anything else..if i think of smth then i tell u lor...""

i din change much, apparently, but thats good, because i can still do less studying and get better results than other people

""you've become slightly open
i was quite surprised when you joined student council (we supported you okay! HAHA)
eh you know youre a very frank person
thats really good sometimes and sometimes, it could become quite a touchy- sensitive issue
so just take note of that
if not, youre great
yeah
i told you to be careful of your speaking
and you alrdy know what (you blogged) that you feel a lik; awkward making small talk and sitting thru long silences
try to loosen up and make small talk lor, im sure student council helped you""

i nid to loosen up, u'd think the council helped me, but u'd think wrong.


so anyway, if you are still reading this after so much, congratulations, you have officially killed 15 minutes that you will never get back.

i realized something, people say things that are ambiguously not positive or negative, so should i change them,k i'm going on my gut feeling here.
ya and my new year resolutions based on this review is that

1) be more sociable
2) say things less bluntly
3) help out more in the student council because they really need it
4) not put entire song lyrics as a blog post, that's just being lazy
5) study for about 5 hours for the year
6) practice small talking
7) Pay more attention in class


that's about it i cant think of more, really

the 2nd post in '09

recently i have been googling up stuff along the lines of face reading, and by recently, i meant the past few hours. anyway, face reading, or physiognomy, is simply the "science" of reading faces.

a little more specific. physiognomy tries to profile you based on what kind of face you have. an example would be if the distance between your eyes is small, i.e. less than the length of an eye, it means that you have very strong focus and concentration. stuff like that. but that wasn't exactly what i was looking for, i knew i wanted to learn how to face read, but that kind of personality reading is about as reliable as horoscopes. No offense, horoscopes, but to me, as much scientific research has been put into this, i still don't see the connection.

anyway, what i was looking for was more towards cold readings, kind of like how a supposed "psychic" can talk to the dead that he never knew. Many magicians rely on this trick, they basically observe their subjects and try their luck at a few random statements. when any of that hits the jackpot, the subject would have an involuntary physiological reaction, maybe a gasp or their face turning pale, or something less obvious. so the magician picks up on that reaction and continues from there, saying more meaninglessly random sentence until they get a reaction. of course the statements they say try to get as vague as possible, so that they "hit" more people.

but most of the information i found generally involved some sort of a show kind of thing and that wasnt what i really wanted. what i wanted to learn was how to understand and pick up on that kind of involuntary reactions. many of those reactions are split second and i want to train myself to pick up on the different kinds and know what they are, i mean theres no point seeing someone sway from side to side, their heads tilted down if you don't know what it means.

so thanks to the wonders of wikipedia, or in this case wikiHow, i found out what i wanted to learn, body language. ya, it was that simple, body language. i wanted to know how to pick up on different body language, but reading on the web wasn't good enough. i knew i needed practice, but the thing is, you don't really know if you are correct, nothing is more than a hunch. so i kinda bummed out. i needed a teacher or some other way of learning.

so after that, i decided to do more clicking and stumbled on to how to detect lies. quite interesting and useful.
i also stumbled onto something called the Forer effect.
its basically magic through the computer screen, i will show you how it works.

with the power of the Forer effect, i will attempt to read your personality through the internet, i will try and analyze your personality and it will only be through the computer screen, all you need to do is fill out a little poll at the end to help out. if i get more than 50 hits, i will tell you how i did it.

anyway, understand that this report applies to you only and it generates a unique one for every visitor

You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You also pride yourself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof. But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.


how was it, tell me in the polls

Free Web poll for your Web site - freepolls.com

New Year

my tagbox is screwed up, yo need to highlight it to read it
should i just change one?

anyway, some of u may have heard of the zune 30
if you havent, its basically an mp3 player with 30gb

so now, since many of you have not heard it, it shows that its not a very popular brand of mp3 player,

so the problem now is that many zune owners found their zune bricked, or spoilt, on new years' eve. so that kinda pulls their marketing down by a bit

what's even funnier is that the fix for the spoilt zune is to just wait for 24 hours
you read correct, just wait and do nothing
apparently the problem is about the internal clock being unable to read leap years or something

so thats a damn powerful technical support team, solving your problem without even breaking a sweat

it also begs the question, how would the whole system be linked to the clock, such that when the clock fails, everything else fails with it.
its not like it records what time you play a certain song right.
maybe it does, i dunno, i dun really hear much about zunes

anyway, surfing around youtube, saw a few videos about song backwards, hear the spongebob theme song, very funny
some people believe that messages were deliberately put there, so its even more stupid when they think people are out to get them. i saw on miley cyrus' songs, the person who uploaded the video thinks that miley is innocent and isnt putting any *bad* messages to her beloved fans, its those evil producers!!

hahas, funny people

anyway, i have asked a few of my friends for their opinion on me, im planning to write that out someday, before january ends, hopefully...



www.lightamillioncandles.com

-

Fuck You, Future Me

you know...

you know when there are some things you really wanna tell people, but it kinda sounds very bad, so tt kind of thing you would tell a very very close friend, but yet the bad thing you are about to say is about tt friend, and then u realised, EFF, its gonna stay there until i explode.

i write stuff here becuase i dun tell my friends stuff, im not like most people, i don't sit at a coffee place called Central Perk and then talk about stuff thats happening around you, and then a guy named Chandler makes up a joke about how ridiculous that situation sounds like. I don't have that, so i write

i write hoping that in the future, the future me, ( who hopefully, is more handsome, fit, and smart) can read and then laugh about it. kinda like the friends at a coffee place thing, you know except over a long period of time.

i guess this is the kinda thing u have to get used to, i dunno why its so hard for me to tell people about things, make conversation, small talk if you will. i just got off a car ride with my dad, brother and uncle, it was silent all the way.

some people say silence is good, its golden or something, but too much gold is kinda pointless. anyway right now the one i tell the most things to is my friend Fuji, and even he can't understand half of what im saying.

anyway, i got this situation, i want to say something mean about my friends, but i cant because i dun really have any other, and because people dont crap about other people to random strangers, (at least thats what i think), im stuck

i wanna write about it but theres the possibility (VERY HIGH) that he/she/they/it will read, so im kinda screwed. i wanna start another private blog, but i will most probably forget the password and url.

so to keep future me happy, here it is,

to: (???)

eh wah lau how can u liddat, get so many people never get me, what is this,i not important enough is it. i noe i this year never talk to you/ll much, but aso cannot like that what, last time with you/ll aso mus self invite 1 leh, wtf man, bloody hell, i f i dunno that means i will never hear about it is it, u/ll good la, i treat uall as friendz u/ll come do this kind of thing, na beiz

remember the date, future me, its 28/12/08



anyway, a lot of this stems from my intense dislike of not being told about stuff


and ya before i forget, im gonna do the year end thing which i did annually for the past 2 years, basically i msn or talk to or call peopl who have been in contact with me for the past year and ask about their impressions of me, its kinda like a survey, but i found a cooler word for it,

called evaluation

ok its not that cool, but still, if u wanna drop a message, u can tag or msn me and tell me what u think of me, what i rock at and what i rock less at, so i can change. for a brief sample u can see my old posts here
it basically helps me change for the better. hopefully

so i will be calling ppl up, so beware




www.lightamillioncandles.com
help light 1

Korea

I was In korea
it was nice
i skied
i saw snow
fun
but i still prefer being among friends

Goat

Yes, We Ate One,
quite delicious



Keng Hong Helped
hahas

Lijiang

Beautiful


summary:
went there on a plane,
got cold,
wore 4 layers of clothes,
went to a hotel,
slept,
woke up,
still cold,
had porridge for breakfast,
went to school,
played with secondary school kids there,
forgot my lines,
gave out some prizes,
went to a farmers' house,
refused a cigarette,
got hungry,
ate a goat,
danced with locals,
went back to hotel,
debriefed by principal,
slept,
woke up,
packed my bag,
had lunch,
went to Tiger Leaping Gorge,
climbed down rocks,
rode a boat across it,
climbed up some more rocks,
walked a zigzag path uphill,
walked across some farmlands,
climbed down some more rocks,
took some photos,
walked on a road,
ran out of energy,
bit some gum,
finally reached tina's guesthouse,
went to the bunks,
realized that there was no power socket and it was damn cold,
ate dinner,
danced some more,
sang some songs,
went to bed,
woke up,
id some tai chi,
had breakfast in the dark,
went back to hotel,
slept,
debriefed,
slept again,
woke up,
went up to snow mountain,
rode a cable car,
played with ice instead of snow,
went back down,
went to Yangtze First Bend,
looked at it,
went to communist memorial,
went back,
debriefed,
ate dinner,
went to Gu Chen,
saw some shops,
followed the river,
went back,
got peer evaluated,
played cards til 2,
slept,
woke up,
got our luggage down,
went to the "palace" of Mu the chieftain,
went for lunch back in Gu Chen,
shopped,
went back late,
got punished,
went back to Kunming,
had KFC,
did my punishment,
went back to Singapore.

that's it





and then there's the view
Breathtaking

Thank the teachers, the principal, Tom and Rocky our tour guides for an amazing trip

I AM

the kind of person who sees a typo in your message and looks at the keyboard wondering what letter were you intending to press, had you not made that mistake

New Beginnings

Long Time Since I Last Posted

Cant believe im blogging about leaving

sometimes when when there is no longer anymore opportunities, we must look towards new sources

and that is why i made this decision

it was a very difficult decision to make

i just hope its the right 1

you know how its irritating when people visit but never tag

Yes, I'm Talking About You!
start Tagging





-taggingrox-

Wishlist

List of games i wanna get for my xbox360

Castle Crashers $15-$30
Rock Band 2 (great party game, dunno worth or not) $200-$300
Rock Band 1 (either or) $229
Burnout Paradise 2nd Hand $40-$60 First hand $70
The Force Unleashed Loan $15-$25
Devil May Cry 4 Loan $15-$25

I also want a psp

Anyone thinking of getting me a christmas gift?

Friends

My closest friends are often times those that have almost nothing in common with me, be it hobbies, interests or personalities

At this point, if i had a nice group photo, i would it rite where this chunk of text would be, but unfortunately, im not photogenic, not in the least.


Pietro is the one male person i trust the most. He is, actually i don't know what the hell he is interested in, but anyway, he was in my primary 6 class and in my p6 end-of-year camp group, and i actually only remembered he was in my class at that time, because he was very quiet. Anyway, he came to be in the same class as me for the next 2 years, then went on to take pure bio. He is a quiet person, but becomes more social as time goes by, which is the opposite of me, being loud, then quiet, then even louder (and more vulgar). he has this air of "coolness" surrounding him, he does not need to say much to get people to respect him. Anyone who knows me can say that that will never happen to me. Everyone trusts him and everyone, including me can tell him secrets and confide in him.

Wen Hui is the one female person that i can trust the most. there is quite an interesting story to how i got to know her as a person, but that is another story for another day. She was in the same class as me throughout the secondary school years. Anyway, she is interested in Jay Chou and Survivor and korean and jap dramas, all of which i find retarded. But despite these, i find that she is the one person i can talk to whenever i'm down. Anytime i need help i know she will do her best. She is a quiet person who likes to stay at home and read or something, unlike me.


Jelena is another one of my close friends. Strong believer in Catholicism and good samaritan all around, she yearns to travel around the world, to places like kenya to help them. She is optimistic at best,which is the opposite of me. Interested in dirty and racist jokes. She is a very fun person to talk to simply because she can be very random.



I feel like an advertising agent for writing this
anyway, i hope friends really do last forever as im writing this
then again, i simply hope



-I AM NOT BEING EMO WHILE I WRITE THIS-
-STOP CALLING MY POSTS EMO-

can someone tag my tagboard, its very very old and rusty




www.lightamillioncandles.com

exams

it rox to have your exams end just before the weekends
that means your weekends wont be wasted

this day

continuing from wenhui's post

today we reflect...
we reflect on our differences
we reflect on our similarities
we reflect on the triviality of life
the triviality of the things that are supposedly making me sad

when you have something to be truly sad about
everything else seems so small in comparison

then i reflected about god (see how i use small letters)
if he/them exists
he owes me an explanation
i hate him/them a lot
i wish he/they would stop causing natural disasters

i really hope they do not exist, at least that way fate wouldn't exist
everything would be simple, no hidden symbolism behind everything
no more "lessons", just hard things that we need to do so that people won't kan us


we reflect on fairness
was it fair



we reflect ...





www.lightamillioncandles.com
helpp

fking bitch/bastard person

a few people will probably think that im refering to them
but the actual one im referring to will never know

isit possible to hate someone enough to want them to fail in life
people in sr think im violent and crude
at least im getting the point across

tomorrow we'll be visiting Gabriel
hope he is having a much better time than me
he probably is
we miss him alot
i miss him alot too
he never spoke much to me
but still
some part of me still wishes he was here instead of me
a lot of times i get under pressure
the kind of pressure i give myself
the kind of pressure others give me simply because they expect me to be that good
the kind where people depend on you
i look to him for inspiration
he's the only one i know who was up to the task
who could do things well and talk things through
maybe if he din go, i wouldn't even remember him that well
but still

its not worth it


The Man Who Can't Be Moved - The Script
looking for this song for damn long
heard it 3 or 4 times over the radio, couldnt catch the lyrics properly
the song sounds very nice, very touching
its actually a story
a man decides to stay at the street where he first met the woman he loved
when the woman is no longer with him, he decides to stay at that street until the woman comes to find him, not moving away despite the police finding him.

it's very touching to me, i have a simple and naive way of thinking
i just want to block out everything that makes this world imperfect



www.lightamillioncandles.com
help a child

happy 2 days after national day

went to plaza to watch money no enuff 2
when eating at subway, heard popping sound, den thought its not cuz still very early
den when we finally eat finish and go out to watch gt lots of stupid tress and the dumb ymca building block the fireworks
in the end see smoke and light nia

DO I LOOK FUCKING EMO TO YOU?
WHICH PART OF ME LOOK EMO TO YOU I ASK YOU?
IS IT MY TOES?

long hiatus

wow long time since i last posted
its i think 2 months after my last post
excluding the euro 08 thing, i dun think it counts

anyway.
life has been busy in SR
always really tired at the start of the day, in the middle of the day, and at the end of the day.
so just tired all the way la
i got 13 for ranking points which means must buck up

or commit suicide

whichever way's fine
i figured if i told my friends i thought about suicide, they would think im joking, like always.
its funny how some people in SR find me funny
when there is a significantly less amount of people who do so in holy

i figured its because theres always someone funnier than me in holy, like keng hong and wayne, which apply to different groups of people by the way

i lost my train of thought




anyway, i just remembered.
oops i just lost it.



ohya, i was thinking about the fact that i don't really establish concrete groups of friends, like cliques anymore after sec 3. in sec 4 i just roamed around the class looking for people to talk to, usually they are the ones sitting the closest to me because im lazy to move around, but i do sometimes when the teacher is out of the class, or when i feel like pissing the teacher off. but the thing i like about this "fluidity" is that i can understand and know more people and not restrict myself, however i sacrifise the companionship and trust of actual friends, which why the people i trust are the ones from sec 2.

i think i have trust issues, but it cant be because of my parents, they ask me about my life all the time, im just too lazy to say everything out.

anyway, this fluidity has carried on to my tiem in SR, not forming cliques with anybody, not in class or cca. i get worried sometimes.

well, life's like that.

oh ya, my class think my gp is very amazingly damn good. WHY? i scored relatively more for my diagnostic test, which i still failed. so i dun really have a reason to be more "gooder" at gp than everyone else, just can't understand them.

oh and junqiang thinks im a bastard
while chen thinks im a dog
while julian thinks im a slacker
while loke thinks gs means glennard sucks

hmmm





www.lightamillioncandles.com
almost forgot

EuroNews

Council training camp

tough
actually still not bad la
no need kanna hamptam when we stand on 1 leg
hahas, npcc ppl should noe wad i mean

anw
its fun
and tough
and difficult
but satisfying
i feel accomplished

first day
when gathering, got ppl late
so kanna scolding
den we were give this folder with 10 pieces of paper inside and we were supposed to open them up at different times of the camp
i will just say about those paper that are significant to me
anw the first real activity (other than talking and intro) is to clean up 7 classrooms
we were given some buckets and mops and stuff and we had to clean the whole classroom
spotless
the first time we din know much
but we did clean until what we felt was clean
that there was inspection
TAs checked for dust
use finger to wipe the door railings all that
so obviously we failed
then we did it a second time
it was much better
we cleaned the dust off the switches, the windows ledges, the tables
all the hard to reach and difficult to see places
but we passed the second time
so we were told to open up paper number 3
it wrote
you have just completed 2/12 hours of a worker's load, thats 1/6
so its like we run here run there only scrape out 1/6

then after that it was dinner followed by pitching of tents
we had to pitch tents at the fitness area
at first the TAs din give us any instruction
so we din ask for any help or guidelines
we just went on our own and did wad we knew
btw its not those giant peg kind of tent, those new odac and obs kind
then we took 33 mins to complete the first time
obviously that was too long
so we had to dismantle them and pitch again
we did it in 16 mins
so we were quite relieved

the next day morning, we had to do morning pt, run a little less than 3km
run liao go do pumping. while in pumping position we had to remember all the hod names
obviously we dunno
so we went down
and down
and down again
we ran from pumping position to the board at general office 3 times before
we actually thought of getting sprinters to run there and get all the names so we dun have to
ya so we kanna because we din think of that, not because we dunno( even though we still dunno at tt time)

after that was lunch and prepare for the trek though macritchie
lots of people over packed and ended up with lots of stuff to carry
when we reach there we had to arrange all our bags such that we had our hands free and not carrying anything
mr bernard tan was our first aider and instructor there for the trek
so at first it was dam hot, everyone gt tired very quickly
but we had to move on and close up all the gaps
so behind people had to run
i was actually at the back, den i rmb that the behind people always have to be very fit and fast because they have to run and walk and run and keep changing so its very tiring, i moved to the front
we walked until 1 part where we went in the forest itself, not the path anymore
we walk until 1 part where we were supposed to choose our locations for the tents
i was the ic for my group at that time so i had to tell my grpmates that the instructions
i was told that we cannot assume that the group knows waht and how to look for it
must always tell them
so we got out of there because it was too small
mr tan gave the compass to rex to figure out the way out
he did, although he took a harder route to reach it

when we reached the end
we had a simulation
where a few of us were dead or blind or a casualty in some way and we had to bring them to the main road
i failed as an ic because i couldnt give instructions when everyone had their ideas to contribute
also mr tan was scolding and shouting so all of us felt stressed
the hardest part was when we had to carry darrel out along with all our bags
so we split up, some carry bag, some carried casualty
later rohith died, so we had to do the same
when we finally reached the end, we were tired like dogs

anw we walked back the same way we came in and had our dinner at night on a grass patch
there were a few casualties by then so they were a bit slower
we walked from our dinner place to the night walk trail

the night walk was unique
we had to walk through a forest trail, but there was light stick to guide us
but we had to do it solo
first time still ok
2nd time the lightsticks was removed, so a few of us sort of panicked
but they still went through it

we went back at night on bus
where we took out another paper, number 6 or 7 i think
it wrote, we walked 25 km in 11 hours, still feeling doubts about the 10 km will run


anw on the third day, we had the pumping session again, this time we pumped less
but we had to remember the subject head's name as well
actually they weren't trying to ask us so much on the content per se, but actually they wanted us to speak up confidently


at the end of the camp, we had to do strengths and weaknesses evaluation for all the campers except ourselves
we also had to vote for the various exco positions
survey says, al-olympia is going to be the next president, with samantha being the vice prez, or ibrahim if they wanted a mix of gender

it was a great camp
it wasnt tough because it had a 25 km trek
i was tough because we have to do it as leaders
as student councillors




www.lightamillioncandles.com
help save a child today

school

YAY I'm In Council

there was a long weekend 5 days ago which lasted 4 days
everyday i had to pass by dhoby gaut mrt station
dam sianz leh
first day go play lan at E2MAX
played cs with 1s11
den 2nd day go watch iron man with 1s09
den 3rd day go republic poly watch muscial
whcih was very nice
den last day go cathay do gpp

dam tired
slept at 10-11 on all days

anw nothing much to write
just that i have alot of homework i din do yet

When You Realize That You Have Something Greater Than Than Yourself To Live For, You Will Not Only Understand True Motivation, You Will Know Why You No Longer Tire, But Most Importantly, You Will Find Meaning And Purpose In Your Life

POST 100

yay post 100
i cant believe it took me 1 year and 1 half to reach so "many" posts

anyway
weekend was relatively good
managed to push quite a lot of work away
pre-u seminar stuff will be taken care off by calvin
not much thinking left for student council

left econs essay which i supposed to have handed up by friday but didn't and maths tut 2 n 3 which was late by 1 week
but other than that im cool

right now i downloading some gc games
tried to look for some super mario
but they din have it
den when i tried to transfer some games
i relised i lost the cd
so i had to donload it from the net


anyway
if theres one thing im glad for this weekend
its that i did my chinese compo on friday

but if theres 1 thing im not glad for
itz that i couldnt find friends to come with me to watch a free movie which i have tickets of
anyway i couldnt think of anything nice to watch so i gave the tickets back to my parents

My life as described by different people

I have a friend who once described me as this song





I'm Just A Kid- Simple Plan


Honestly, when i first heard of this, i was like, are you sure
then i thought about it for a while, she was quite right.
anyway, at that time i was thinking more along the lines of



How To Save A Life- The Fray

i din really know why i made this suggestion, maybe it was because i liked them so much

but anyway, at this point in time, its quite ironic
i can only say so much right now


i planned to write about this song thing for about a few days
but its only when i write it now, i can truly feel its impact





www.lightamillioncandles.com

week 2 in srjc

It has been 2 weeks of srjc in term 2
i passed interview for student council


homework is beginning to creep up

there's pre u sem stuff
rally stuff
and pw stuff

and then there's homework

notice that pw is on a whole new level above normal homework
that's because it is
we have around 4 days before deadline
and everything u don't feel like doing right now becomes a liability tomorrow
so imagine that liability doubling each day until u reach the day before deadline
by then u would need 4 hours to finish a 2 and 1/2 page chinese compo because you cant focus at midnight
i cant do homework at midnight
but i dun feel like doing it in the afternoon because i feel as if its sucking my "funtime", the time when im most alert( and thus reason enough to devote it to "fun")


so that kind of system works for more or less every proposal
4 days till deadline
so that kinda sucks


there was this council "elects" (ppl who passed the interview but aren't exactly councillors) briefing this afternoon
we had to prepare a poster, a speech and a campaign
poster sucks because i hate putting my face on anything, but otherwise manageable.
speech sucks cuz i have to talk about my reasons for joining and my aspirations on the dais, or podium and say it in front of everyone
campaign sucks most because we have to do something "creative but feasible" which doesn't involve giving sweets
so now for the weekend

i have pw which im gonna finish either now or tomorrow afternoon
speech plus poster tomorrow night
and then some miscellenous homeowrk on sunday

AND actual filming for pre u sem video on monday
on top of that i need to learn flash from kenneth
great weekend








www.lightamillioncandles.com
help them

End Of Week 2 in Srjc

why wasnt i this tired during olevels
jus 2 weeks and i am going to die of tiredness

nothing much happen during this 2 weeks
except homework
lots of it

this school is really embracing the online technology
that sucks
because your homework pretty much doubles or triples

i gt selected into the pre-u seminar thing
means 5 days 4 nights at some local university
woo hoo
i think it happens on school days too
but theres a problem
theres around 29 ppl selected but theres only 25 empty slots
effectively that means 4 ppl will not be selected
but they only tell u that after u do the work
so technically they could get you to do all the work and still not let you enjoy yourself
that sucks
hope its not me


theres also student council interview
i sucked at the interview
i just kept repeating things i said before and say things should be run like military
that is not good
i dunno
its cuz npcc took up half my secondary school life so i dun really have much to talk about
but at least im nt too bad
edmund had to sing the school song for the teacher
and some ppl were asked," where is mas selemat?"
wtf
anyway i think i wont make it past the interview

ya and we went back to get our o level cert last friday
met up with some hihs ppl and go together
we take already den walk around the school to look for teachers
most of them were in ptm so cant find much
i saw tan bee tin but she was talking to a parent so i din disturb her
den we sat at the canteen and talked about stuff
like being embarrassed in sec school when we say go srjc might as well go poly
hahas
everyone there said tat before and look where we ended up
we also talk about initiating our own cca
which jingyi was supposed to write the minutes of in a blog
havent checked it out yet
hope she has actually done it



and thats how my last 2 weeks went




www.lightamillioncandles.com

disgusting

I vomited through my nose, and i saw GREEN undigested little pieces of vegetables from 24 HOURS AGO come out of it

stomach problems since the morning
so had just bread with peanut butter
den slept till 4 plus
den my parents say eat some food
so i eat bread again with milo
den stomach felt worse
so my mum used some chinese medicine powder thing
that actually induced vomit

so i vomited within 10 seconds of drinking the powder
and everything that came out was orange
AND IT CAM OUT OF MY FRIGGIN NOSE
of course from my mouth also la
but there was and still has a very disgusting vomit smell in my nose
DISGUSTING
i hate chinese medicine
in fact i hate all medicine




wwww.lightamillioncandles.com

not a good day

oddly today is not a good day

my morning was good
no big mishaps
just had a nice breakfast of wanton mee at school
then followed by our first project work and econs tutorials
just some games and intro sessions
nothing big, nothing serious
then chinese tutorial
where i din do the work
but she was very xia lan and said expected
good thing her kind of xia lan is funny
den break
go library get research on the pre u seminar
i did a qns on religion
did there for an hour
den maths lecture
which taught trigo
and i slept
a teacher woke me up
but din scold me
den break again
den go library again
then ct period
chose class committee
i wasn't in any part of it
so that was cool
den i went for the pre u seminar audition/interview
at first was quite nervous
but i din show it to anyone
i just listen to some music and cooled down
den it was my turn to go
lucky my teacher was good
mr kok i think his name was
at first i cluttered my first few lines
but then lucky he din do anything to make me even more nervous
den i went on smoothly for the rest of the speech
he said that my strength was in that my research was very wide, not focused on 1 topic
den i went on to my impromptu speech
which was on death gives meaning to life
so i spoke about life , that death makes u want to accomplish things before your life ends
makes u cherish life and the time you have
i also spoke about gabriel, 8/24
i said that he made me realise that things can end abruptly
need to take hold of the time you have now
and he was a very good "judge"
he gave me very positive comments
like how i would make it into council and that i was confident
few ppl have done that
but i cherish each and everyone of them
so i felt good as i went home
den i go home and makan
den on the computer and read some blogs
and talked on msn
which made me very sad today
it kinda sucks when everything is going so well and 1 little thing can change your mood
damn, and i was having a good day man

few people have made me feel good in a long time
would you like to make me feel good today
sms me now at 97337272

jus some shameless advertising
hahas





www.lightamillioncandles.com
help

CRAZY crazy things

This week

school was boring
with all the subject talks and all that mumbo jumbo
new og on wednesday
tt sucked because i have ABSOLUTELY positively NO new friends there
despite the fact that i know possibly 20-30 ish ppl there

so i basically picked the same subject combination again
tts SMPE
science stream, H2 Maths, EconS and Physics
but i changed h1 from bio to chem
BIO sux

as for cCa bazaar
as they call it
i picked tennis
big surprise there
i never picked up a racket and played any tennis before in my life
so decided to try
the catch is


that i have to pay 100 for 1 year if im nt in the school team
so that sux like hell


2nd cca i chose
was student council
even bigger shocker

ya tt decision was basically quite easy because it makes a damn good testimonial when you applying for university or even your job
besides the white tshirt looks cool


3rd choice is the biggest shocker of them all
i took DANCE

MUHAHAHAHAHAHS

i lost my mind
i guess its one of those impulse things
im prone to doing really REALLY ridiculous things
such as writing who i liked on my msn nick
and trying to roller blade up a hill
but its interesting
and it looks cool
so i will see how it goes
i mean after all im not exactly lean meat
so its not very aesthetic to see someone as FAT(FRIGGIN FAT) as me trying to do hip hop

and everyone i told laughed in my face
and they laughed, laughed, laughed, laughed, laughed, laughed, laughed, laughed, laughed and laughed somemore
i NEED YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT NOW!!!
in this CRUCIAL time
but i din expect them to encourage me
after all, even i wouldn't encourage myself
hahas


ya and 1 more thing
there are so many christian (catholic) racists that i know of
so what you go to church and identify yourselves as one religion so you can make fun of someone elses skin colour
all the shit here shit there
im sick of hearing it, because its FUCKING OFFENSIVE
they may not take offense to that personally
but that doesn't mean you should say it right
HEY LETS GO CHURCH CAMP AND TELL EACH OTHER BLACK JOKES
whats more there is very little malays and/or indians in CJC right now
making it another effective platform for stupid jokes
and im sure someone will be thinking they are just jokes
yeah, they are right
we take it so casually because we listen to them so often
I REALLY CANNOT STAND MUTHAFUCKERS LIKE THAT
even if they are my friends
can world peace exist in this lifetime
certainly not with those people around
and a significant part of them are catholics or christians, i realized
so what we have to believe that creationism is true and darwin was wrong
JUST because it is written so


and no, indians and malays shouldn't be called shit
now should they?


and this will be one of the really ridiculous things i do for a living
i can be a damned daredevil from now on
hahas









"If we are all God's children, then what's so special about Jesus?"--- Jimmy Carr, comedian, hated by christians (LOL)



"YOU ARE A SICK PERVERTED TWISTED PYSCOPATH! YES FYI THESE ARE BLOODY FLAMES IM SENDING YOU! WHEATHER YOU'RE CHRISTIAN OR NOT IT DOESN'T MATTER THIS STUFF IS NOT FUNNY ITS CRAP A LOAD OF CRAP AND DISGRACEFUL AND DISGUSTING YOU SHOULDNT EVEN BE ALLOWED ON FANFICTION! YOU'RE DISGUSTING GO DIE IN A HOLE. AND YOU CAN PRAY YOU DONT GET STUCK!" -----A typical Christian showing humility and forgiveness in the face of lulz.


gs
doesn't believe in god because he made christians, most of which dont exemplify his beliefs
www.loljesus.com

OMG

Why did the stupid n95 8gb increase in price again!!!
and my stupid n73 drop from 250 to 150 in trade-in


btw
emmanuel made me realised that OMG can actually stand for oh my glennard


OH MY GLENNARD!!!!

hahas



www.lightamillioncandles.com
im making a statement
starting with you

Why Does Everything Seem To Go Downhill For Me, And The Beginning Wasn't Even Very Good To Start With



figure that one out

2cha chalet + vday post + new year

today is valentine's day
still nothing to report

but more importantly today is the last day of the 2cha chalet
around 8 girls out of 26 and almost every guy from our class went
i cant believe i just realized over the past few days that everyone 1 there was either gambling masters or learning to be 1

they just gambled and gambled the whole night
most gambled on blackjack
play until so hiong that they can all stand on table wait for the card to open
then everyone scream

i learned mahjong again
and its fun
but i don't know how to tell who want what tiles

so they just played the whole night
then next morning all either tired until sleep or go home
then there was barbeque
which was normal

anyway before this
i went to penang
to pai nian
i played firecrackers again
i accidentally dropped a rocket
then my uncle panic and quickly aim the rocket somewhere else
he nearly got burned
and he got angry
the rocket hit the wall and exploded

anyway now im addicted to mahjong
so anyone wanna play!?!


www.lightamillioncandles.com