The Problem Is Choice

i have been getting this question a lot lately, especially since the Final Year papers are approaching


Why Do I never seem to need to study or feel stressed or can still be so happy and hyper when the exams are just around the corner, Dont I Care?


to say the truth, I care,


i care a lot

but i just dont want to let others know that
i like having a shroud of mystery around me
i like people thinking that im happy, when im not
but ya, sometimes the emotions overwhelms you and you lose control for a while
but usually what you see of me isnt what is real
a mere shell
but sometimes you do see the real me
thats when you start hating me
because i myself hate me
so i need to put on a shell
so i can live through my school life in resonable shape
i dont like people to care about me
i find that it puts unneccesary stress on themselves and me
so i need to put on this mask
so people will think im happy and well
and doesnt have problems at all
thats the kind of person who doesnt need anyone to care for him
thats how i like my life to be

but regarding the exams part
i dont study much
even if i do i do it subconsciously
i do it during lessons and listen in class
rather then going home and trying to figure out everything by yourself and failing
except for a maths ive slept throughout the whole of term3 her lessons are just too boring

i dont like to study
i cant read a book without sleeping
much less read notes
i have no idea how im going to make it through my O Levels
so pray hard that i dont fall asleep in class

i detest people who study so much that other parts of life are neglected
even if it is during exam periods
i think of it as being controlled
i dont like being controlled
some people may think of it as focus or concentration
but i think its a waste of time
there's no point sacrifising health and sleep for books
sure it may be important but what about the other days
they are important too

the only reason why i care about my studies
are because of the ones who love me
my parents
they are the only reason i want to study
i dont want to be a burden
i dont want them to regret having me as their child
i dont want to make their sacrifises be wasted
i am probably going to study after looking at my parents
having to be able to take care of me and my brother
with love and joy
even though i know they wont see this
i want to thank them for everything
i want to study well so i can have a good job and give my parents and my future wife and children
a comfortable life, even if it means having 1 meal a day
that is if i dont do well in my studies...


i hope i can do you proud

the most specialest day of the year.......................turned out to be like any other day

the most specialest day of the year
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turned out to be like any other day

yesterdae

lessons lessons lessons until 1130
then see binghui chasing xiaomin
then decide to rot there
UNTIL 1 still gt geog lesson
his lesson ultra boring
summore he say eoy paper is 1 and half hr
OHNOES
anyway, my parents picked me up to go bathe and take my ic photo
i think i blinked...
then go food court eat as part of bdae celebration
then my mum ask me what i want for bdae
i just randomli say rollerblade
then she realli go buy
first time no need beg 1 leh
then after tt go royalsportinghse buy
my bro try out then in the end he aso dunno then fall on his butt
hahas
.... then nuthing liao lor



todae 69

wake up then first sms i receive
from linda happy bdae i nvr forget hor or sumthing liddat
thx
then on the computer
let my bro play a while then some back
from dawn happy bdae
thx
from xt
happy bdae
thx
then chatchatchat then i gt a new mei and her name is
(drum roll)daWn tAn YAY (clapclapclap)
then rot online
from mushroom
happy bdae
thx
from jelena
happy bdae
thx
from gangyi
happy bdae
thx
THEN suddenli i hear vibrate sound i tot is from the computer
realised is phone
then pickup is joanna and jess and still gt 1 person cannot hear carefulli?
happi bdae
thx
everything within tt para happened b4 12


todae 69 after 12
rot arnd the hse then go down test run the new rollerblades
who know how to brake can teach me
after tt then sit there thinking
NO ONE IS GOING TO JIO ME OUT CELEBRATE oh well
who can blame them
i aso seldom give bdae presents to other ppl aso
or celebrate with them
serves me rite, maybe sum1 up there dun like me for tt
then give me 'bao ying'




SO after all tt time wasting space to talk abt myself
i want to use this space below to write about steve irwin
this maybe a post for my bdae but i feel tt out of respect he deserves a little recognition


He was a rather impressive person
he gt popular without using gimmicks or songs or frauds
he gt popular bcuz he cared about preservation of wildlife
and he didnt stop there he still continued to spread the word on wildlife
he is a unique individual who rose to fame for a good cause nt like singers or actors
he rose to fame bcuz he cared about wildlife
nt by singing or acting on the silver screen
i may nt watch him much but i think he shld have lived longer
we need more people like him on earth
more people who use their influence for the good of the world
nt like paris hilton
or eminem
or jj
or milubing
or jim carrey
im nt dissing them or anything
im just saying that we shld spend less time and attention on them
and more time on the more important things like
wildlife or recycling
or whatever


this post was way too long