A Story Of (insert name)'s Life

you know how people always keep saying
this is just another chapter in my life
the story of my life will be interesting
or the story of my life will not be interesting (IE low self esteem people)

So i gt to thinking
you know how a story have main character (protagonist)
the supporting characters (eg robin, superboy, anyone other than the simpsons family in "the simpsons" and blahblahblah)
the kind people will onli remember if you talk about the main character

so what if your role is only just a supporting character in someone else's story
you were only there to maybe say a few lines that motivate the protagonist so he will feel good about himself
or you were just there to set off a chain of events such that the main character can save the day in a heroic fashion
i mean what if the only purpose in your life is to play seconds to some main character so that he can get a happily ever after
then the story of your life would be " how some idiot lived his life so he could do things that motivated the hero"
if that kind of story came to bookstores, would you even think about it for 2 separate occasions, much less buy it.
i mean could you imagine going to heaven and when "god" or whatever you think the judge is( i dont promote religions)
when he is reviewing your life in a convenient DVD format while you watch nervously beside him
he says " hmm, so you manage to motivate the hero in a typical fashion so he could save the day and/or get the girl, you get to go to heaven ."
If it was me, i would be wondering " so i got to go to heaven because some bastard save the day, not because i actually did something worth going to heaven for, My life must've sucked"

Sometimes i get the feeling my life is like that, but counselling and immediate phsychiatric help changed that

Anyway, speaking of "getting the girl" I've never been a girl but i actually wonder what those type of people are like.
maybe they just sit around all day waiting for some hero to kiss them
or maybe they are perfect in every manner and extremely intelligent , only to serve as some mindless slave doll for the hero/villain.
ever get the feeling that when you read the book, everything the girl seems to do only alludes to the fact that (you think) the only reason she's doing it is so the protagonist will like her ( or so you thought)
i don't think i will ever figure that out, so i wont bother

But there is this one aspect
the villain ( dum-dum-DDDDUUUUUMMMMMM)
you know, the antagonist who only serve to hurt you, and in some aspect make you a better person

i wonder how their book would be written
the protagonist would speak of him as if he was a devil
and then he would write as if he was a hero and he hurt him for a good reason
nevermind im too bored to write any longer

www.lightamillioncandles.com
this is not an ad

desparation

i din realize i was being so despo
maybe im just trying to get attention.

www.lightamillioncandles.com
this is NOT an ad

hormones sux

Caution: Every Sentence With The Word "I" Is Fiction, You've Been Warned



Damn all these beautiful girls
they onli wanna do you dirt
they'll have you suicidal, suicidal
when they say it's over


damn these hormones
life was so much easier before girls came into the picture

that's why it'll never work

u think so easy find arr!?!

My friend once said
this kind of thing cannot find one, nature will take its course
but by then you have to learn to take initiative

stupid eugene!!

he found his already

mrs ganesan once told me (in her car) that the trend in 4humility classes
is that by prelims most of us would have found a stead

how true that is
who knows

they say we're too young,to get ourselves sprung
oh we didn't care,we made it very clear
and they also said, that we couldn't last together

nothing really meaningful in these words


Everytime evon and eugene talk about their relationship, i just stand there and hear, not really knowing what is going on


i wish i could do a handstand or bicycle kick

girls have caused me to make too much changes to myself
and yet none seem to realise that
maybe cuz everyone is making the same changes to themselves
so no one is really standing out
everyone hair gt spike/put gel or wax or wadever they put in their hair

I hope im not still a bachelor by 25, seriously
i miss my old life
stupid hormones had to mess it up

apparently i don't have any photos of me with my friends
maybe the result of not having the habit of taking photos or not having friends
i think its a bit of both
yet a whole lot of nothing

i feel sad everytime i visit my own friendster page

can someone shoot me
then replace me with a clone so nobody finds out and doesn't feel sad about it
its a little complicated but its worth for my friends and family



kinda like my anti depressant
i believe i can fly
see me running thru that open door
i believe i can fly

everyone's talking about their him and their hers
then their best friends have to tag along when they get into an argument etcetera
if i had a her
i wonder who would be the best friend to tag along
but more importantly, who would be the her

sometimes i wonder if i am misled by beauty
maybe so, maybe not

im not a big fan of being positive
i NEED to talk to someone honestly
someone who wont get shocked or surprised or judge me
i desperately need to go for counselling
i feel like harry potter except i dont have magic to help me

can someone counsel me
because the me you see at school is just a big ideal picture of some slacker who is happy go lucky
i tot that was me
until i realised there was another me trying to break out of that cage
for one reason or another
and i am dying day by day
until all thats left is a cage with someone dead inside
and all you see is just a ideal happy go lucky slacker
and you dunno why he went insane

!!!!!!!!


www.lightamillioncandles.com
we don't need your money, we just need your support

Some Anti Smoking Essay

I suddenly got the inspiration for this after 2 consecutive rides on the bus.

In my family of four, no one commands more respect and power than my father. He is not exactly a typical tyrant than you would expect, but yet he somehow manages to make you do things you wouldn't normally do without resorting to violence or anger. He is a friendly man who can communicate with pretty much anyone. He is also a very successful businessman who treats both his clients and employees well. In fact, many people consider him to be the perfect man, since he neither drinks nor gambles, but what they do not know is that he smokes, a lot. He doesn't smoke in front of anyone other than his family, and only does it when he is under immense stress. When I was a kid, i used to ask him why he smokes, since it smelt so horrible. He would always answer, " Every time I smoke, one of my wishes will be granted, but i have to use them sparingly, or else there will be no more wishes left." And it wasn't without "evidence", on one occasion he smoked 7 cigarettes in a row the night before an important meeting about a deal with a client. The next day he came home early to celebrate the closing of the deal. So as time went by, I started to believe in what he told me. And i had no reason not to, after all why would my father lie to me?

Next up would be my brother. He is 21 right now and living on his own with his girlfriend. He wasn't very bright in school, only averaging passable grades, making my father very ashamed of him, since he himself was a university graduate. He too was a social person, being one of the most popular kid back in his secondary school days. He was also a natural leader, organising many environment- friendly events in the school. However, the big difference between my brother and my father, was that the former hated smoking. My brother tried to stop him from smoking but he just refused, straining their relationship. Fortunately, even though they never admitted it, I believe that they deeply respected each other's strengths and flaws. My brother is working as a construction worker now, as well as a part time bartender job at night to save up for his future wedding. my mom once described him as being too good to other people for his own good.

My mom was a great woman. Strong, caring and sensitive, and the best part is she totally loves her children. She dotes on me and my brother so much, sometimes we have to ask her not to. But she was the person who instilled a lot of discipline in me. When I was a kid, she used to be very fierce and punished me severely, especially if i did something morally wrong like lying. But as I grew up, she became less strict and shows her caring side.

Lastly, there's me, a Secondary four student who's still a kid at heart. I am quite a smart kid, but lazy. My father puts all his hopes of his children being doctors on me and splurges on me, making me feel guilty that i was stealing attention away from my brother. Fortunately, he understands and doesn't hold grudges against me. As far as religion goes,I'm pretty much a freethinker, with little bits of christianity from my mother and buddhism from my father and grandparents. I do believe that there is a force controlling this world who guides everyone, depending on what they have done. Myd. brother calls it karma, in short, if you do good deeds, you will be rewarded, if you do bad things, you will be punishe So that made me wonder, maybe it was because my father did so many good deeds that made him successful, rather than the cigarettes, but i didn't really pursue the matter.

Now, finally i can continue with the story. I entered Secondary four life as a completely naive child. I didn't know what having a girlfriend was like, what new friends I will have, why people are having so much problems over their boy-girl relationship. And the LCE lessons weren't helping one bit. During the first three months, I did make new friends, but i didn't participate in their activities, basically going home everyday to study, so my grades were quite consistent.

During the one week break, one of my friends, Buddy, called me out to watch a movie with them. Naturally i agreed since i had nothing better to do than study. We watched "insert movie here" and went to play pool nearby until 11pm. Just before we left the area, Buddy led me to a small alley near my house. He then took out a small box from his pocket, which under the dim lighting could not be seen clearly, but he did take out a stick from it. He said' "try it, just one smoke." I hesistated before taking it, but just as i reached out to grab it, a huge torrent(?) of rain swept across the alley, catching both of us by surprise and causing Buddy to drop the stick. I sped towards the opposite void deck near my house. He threw the box to me before running in the opposite direction towards the void deck, shouting to me across the rain, " keep it!" Needless to say I went home drenched, with an angry mother waiting at the door.

On the first day of the 2nd semester, Buddy rushed up to me and put another box of cigarettes into my bag, saying that he has been blacklisted by the Discipline Master and I need to keep the box with me for safekeeping. Before I had to chance to say anything, he dashed off, leaving a motion of blur in its wake (exaggerate too much) . So i was stuck with the another box for who-knows-how-long. School wasn't any much harder for the 2nd semester, except that i have less time to study since I was playing with Buddy and a new friend, "Guy". Guy was a big, strong, tough guy with lots of muscles and a sensitive heart. Its no wonder so many girls are attracted to him, since he was handsome and romantic at the same time. The three of us were interested in both soccer and basketball, so we could fit in with most cliques easily. We played virtually every day after school, alternating between the two sports. One weekend, we played all day at the video arcade until 5 pm, after which we sat by the steps and chatted about life and things like that. I found out that Guy was a smoker, but the only reason he did it was to "keep" his girlfriend. How ironic for a tough guy to be manipulated by a girl. They also tried to persuade me to smoke, saying it was cool and stuff. I tried to light a cigarette in my mouth, but a speeding car went by and splashed water on all three of us, making all the cigarettes as well as the lighter wet. This was the period when they kept pressuring me into smoking.

My Mid-year Examinations results declined by quite a lot. Many of my teachers complained about the sudden tiredness they see in me, mainly because I play till the wee hours of the morning. So during the holidays, my father decided to bring me to a hawker center for lunch as well as a father-to-son talk. As he was holding a lighted cigarette in he left hand and his handphone on the other, he started to check the 4d results. The 1st prize was 1991, which he missed by 2 digits, while the 2nd prize was 1210 which he also missed by 2 digits. However,he blinked a few times when he saw the 3rd prize, the 3rd prize was 9733, which meant he won! Now i began to wonder if cigarettes really did grant wishes.



To Be Continued ...