Changing Direction

Yesterday must be a milestone for me
i have decided to change the perspective of my life
no more chasing grades
no more chasing girls, man

i mean i realized, after a long and engaging talk (with myself) (on the mrt)
my life wasn't meant for chasing girls or grades or money for that matter
i still haven't found out what it was for though
but hey, this kind of xia lan face surely not for girls to like 1, RIGHT!!
hahas

this reminds me of '05 when i made a very big realisation that no one cares about your birthday
it crushed me but i guessed everyone was just too busy, who could blame them?


I guess its time for this boat to to set sail on a new course

I believe there are 3 factors that affect what people do, and how they do it
they are logic, faith and emotion
Logic is the little voice inside your head that tells you not to jump off a 10 storey high building because you WILL die
Faith is a little different, it has a little bit of both logic and emotion, yet at the same time it contradicts logic and emotion, such as fasting on certain days.
I have stopped believing for some time, because i felt since there were so many, which one is right, but that (anti)belief has been cemented into my head by THAT DAY, the day i(and many others) lost a friend.
The last thing is emotion, you know anger, hate, love happiness, that kind of thing
in short, because you feel close to a friend or family, it makes you wanna try more than usual to help them

i have stopped faith from interfering with my judgement
and now im going to stop emotion on the day 4/12/07
the only thing affecting my judgement is logic
and if i ever lose that, you can see me in woodbridge
but must make appointment first, hahas

just like how i stopped celebrating christmas
sighz


Money saved
from birthday gifts since '05: $70
from Christmas since '06: $20
from chasing grades: $10
from chasing girls: >$100
Freedom( at least partially): priceless




To the friend i chatted with after work: yeah, we're just friends, good friends



To eugene( you MUST read this hor, bugger): wah lau eh you ne mu xiao xi cannot trust one leh, where gt chance, no chance arr!!


REAL Madrid 32
BARCAlona 28

inyourface






www.lightamillioncandles.com
Make a difference

Prom

Prom Was yesterday

It was fun

i lost my lucky draw ticket
but its not like i would have won anything

anyway big shockers for prom king and queen

wayne gt 3rd, everyone gasped, hahahs it was so funny
sheryl ( i think thats how it spelled) won even bigger shocker
everyone who knew her ( emphasis on the knowing her part) knew or felt that she was acting cute and wearing like cosplay or anime or stuff like that, but she won, so i guess tt wouldn't matter

everyone thought vivian or linda would have won but guess not


it was a fun night



www.lightamillioncandles.com

A gyroscope is a device for measuring or maintaining orientation, based on the principle of conservation of angular momentum. The device is a spinning wheel whose axle is free to take any orientation. This orientation changes much less in response to a given external torque than it would without the large angular momentum associated with the gyroscope's high rate of spin. Since external torque is minimized by mounting the device in gimbals, its orientation remains nearly fixed, regardless of any motion of the platform on which it is mounted.
--- Wikipedia

In short, the gyroscope can rotate along its axis with complete freedom from all 3 of its supporting columns .
Likewise, we can move to our own rhythm and pace but we need the support of our family and friends,
for without them, we are nothing


the gyroscope can only function when it is spinning.
we cannot, ever, stop moving and contributing to our society
if we stop at anytime, our heart and our spirit will start to falter
it will be difficult to keep trying
its about the same as dying inside, being a physiological zombie, theoretically


as we continue to spin, there will definitely be forces try to stop us, like friction from moving constantly, the psychological and emotional fatigue that comes with motion
but we must never let it stop us
ever


we must never let those who support us down

not our family
not our friends
not anyone



www.lightamillioncandles.com

WELCOME TO THE END

OF THE O LEVELS

<>

now is the new age of staying to play games and watch tv instead of mugging ( which i never really did )


ALL HAIL NOVEMBER 13th!!!

I'm Zidane!!

Which soccer player are you? Zinedine Zidane You are Zinedine Zidane! You are very humble but inside you know your the best. You would rather have a great assist than a goal. You can beat a player or two if you need it as well. You are a well rounded player. Myspace Quizzes

Quizzes are fun


i tried a few soccer position questions
most of them were just 5 questions each
so i doubt they were very accurate
plus i did'nt know what strong meant
(does it mean you can kick the ball far or when you tackle aggressively)

so most of the choices were
agile
strong
finisher
last ditch takle
save goals

pretty much like that all the way
but it was quite fun

got 1 midfield result
1 center back result
and a few others i cant seem to remember

but i didn't get any side backs or wing backs
which is my preferred positions since i can run up for assists and defend
but i don't mind defensive midfield
its similar


english and maths paper 2moro
from 8 am all the way to around 4 - 5 pm

vive zizou!!


www.lightamillioncandles.com

!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 111!!!!!11!!!!!1!!!!!!1!e^0!!!!!sin 0

Note that its spelt ex-CLAM-a-tion

not ex-CLAIM-a-tion


so now you know, remember to spell it exclamation mark for now on


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!11!!11!111!!1!!



www.lightamillioncandles.com

2 Days Before School Ends

10/3/07
rite now
mom's birthday
Happy birthday
Hope You Have A Better Birthday at work than me


anyways
i realised that a LOT of people decided to post on 28th and 29th september
and they posted nearly the exact same thing
"im not gonna blog until after O levels"
or something to that effect


Eugene is recruiting peoples to go CRUBBING (clubbing) with him
interested people please go and find him before he bugs the hell out of me and everyone else
lolwthroflbbq


realise i have been using a lot of "colourful language" recently
alot more than normal actually
maybe its stress getting to me subconsciously
yeah right

THERES NO P.E TOMORROW BECAUSE THE WONG VEI LI TOOK IT AND REPLACED IT WITH A AMATHS PAPER2
Dude, allcaps rulez, EEVVAARR




www.lightamillioncandles.com
light 1 for the children

Anime Theme Songs

Dude, Its The World's Cutest Song. EEEEEEVVVVVVAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!







With an even cuter voice actor(the actual voice actor or sakura),EEEEEEEVVVVVVAAAAAAARRR

DA x 21

DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA



The Simpsons rock
now that i have access to their episodes online
(which Im going to tell you about!!!)


L1R5 Sucks At 18
L1R4 at 13

PRELIMS SUCK
alot!



Watching Air Gear Recently instead of ... you know ... studying
http://images.google.com.sg/imgres?imgurl=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/8b/AirGear-01-01-006-007_EDIT.jpg/300px-AirGear-01-01-006-007_EDIT.jpg&imgrefurl=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_Gear&h=241&w=300&sz=18&hl=en&start=9&um=1&tbnid=6NOmscjklqkTLM:&tbnh=93&tbnw=116&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dair%2Bgear%26svnum%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN

about some pimped out rollerblading boyz who go move very fast


and jump

really really high


pretty much it
tho im still at episode 17

AND AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER SEASON THREE PREMIERED YESTERDAY in america
freaking americans always get first pick


anyway
science dropped
maths improved
eng and humanities maintain

My father says that seeing as how my results sucked
he actually plotted a route for me to take over his job or as a more qualified person for his job
but that takes more time
it involves me going to poly, taking opthamology, going to some overseas university, or NS, whichever comes first


so in theory, going to poly actually means
more time wasted, i mean spent on learning
more effort needed
less chance of actually completing the whole route
NO chance of picking a course that i like AND
100% chance of screwing up some where

Im sticking to JC
saves time, effort and gives me the freedom of choice
since my dad only wants me to go university regardless of my subjects

my closing statements:
A MATHS IMPROVE FROM D7 to A2
IN YOUR FACE VEI LI AKA YOU-CANT-SAY-BLOODY-HELL-IN-FRONT-OF-HER

Post Prelims Post

PPP

Prelim Sucked, ... A Lot


No real mood to really study, so really didn't, really
I feel as if i don't have a direction to move in anymore

remember the time where you would wake up and be all excited about thinking what you were going to accomplish, like finish a game or read a book or even watch a tv show.

I forgot how that feels like
Its just everyday wakeup, goschool, eat (ive been doing that a lot when im bored), den sleep

nothing really stimulating for me
very mundane, monotone

Time seems to be passing me by
and when january comes im gonna regret it
then i will probably jump
because i cannot imgaine the pain of slitting my wrist

but yeah life's been boring


exams were difficult as hell, because i didn't study
got a stupid c5 for bio when i was aiming for a freaking a1
ss gt 31/50, gt a heart attack when gt back essay, was like HENG ARR essay 20/25


shld really wake up
Glennard, How are you going to get an A1 with your attitude right now?!??!?!?!?!
You should just wake up and stop dreaming, because this is not a test anymore, This IS the prelims and you are flunking everything, How are you going to Junior College? Huh? I thought you wanted to go into that Nanyang JC, You THINK they want students like you?HUH?

dam pissed off about bio exam
shld really stop dreaming
and admit to myself that im not really that smart
i probably couldnt get 11 even if i studied
everyone is just being polite
the test are probably set too easy
whe the real thing comes
you'll see
you'll see that you are just A PATHETIC GOOD-FOR-NOTHING THAT IS WASTING ALL THE FREAKING TEACHER"S ENERGY






i wanna drop out
and forget everything...








...everything





www.lightamillioncandles.com
im too [insert adjective here] to comment on it

bdae post

06092007
nt much really happened

at 0000 hours today 3 ppl smsed me and 2 ppl called me, giving me a heart attack in the middle of the night
but i appreciate it, THANKS!!!

in the morning more ppl started to sms me and say happy birthday
i think more than last year, which is good cuz it means i made more frenz, yay!!


played pool at 1145
at hg plaza
played for about 1hr +++ with eugene and wayne

thats pretty much the only celebration i had

i actually went to school during the juniors npcc campcraft training
cause haoxiang same birthday as me
den go there celebrate with him

so waitwaitwait for about 4 hours
den when they finish they just buy bubble tea and go home
go home read his blog then realise they already celebrate liaoz
so i effectively wasted 4 hours doing nothing
so go home sianzed
to haoxiang:
you gt really good friends man
cherish them forever


so about 1.5 hrs left till end of the day
so a little too late to really do anything
but my parents did celebrate with me, so yay i gt a cake
most of sec 4s studying for prelim so cant really blame them
plus now 16 liao
have to be mature
cannot cry, cannot point finger at others,
hahahas!!
have to accept people's problems


nvm i gt 1.5hrs of celebration!!
tts 1.5 more hrs than last year !!!
yay!!!!

short little note 1

8.18pm on tuesday
about 12 mre hrs to ss exam including sleep
still nt really studying, at all

i forgot what i wanted to write here initially
but i did remember a part of it

finally the class tee is done and thankfully it didn't turn out to be a disaster
thanks to everybody who said it looks good
and even more thanks to those who helped me
theres actually an extra 21.50$$$ which wasnt accounted for
there was some error in their part
i haven't told the class cuz the consecutive school days were teachers' day and exams so no chance
but if u did read this
give a few suggestions
cuz im too lazy to tell everyone in class
its just $21.50 so nt enuff for ice cream


many people said that the design was good
which was quite a relief for me
i was quite worried that people thought it sucked
but the good news is that when some of us went around looking for clothes
there was this middle aged salesman selling jeans to us
he said he does shirt printing as well and showed us one of the shirt which was very very nice and onli $13 a piece. it was a polo tee with no names or numbers or wadever
he asked to see our design and said it was good and asked me if i could design for him if i have any free time
cool, what an honor man!!
he said he buys artwork from local students or citizens, prints them on a shirt and sells them
which is quite cool actually
but since this year olevels so bo bian no free time

really tired now
still cant remember what i wanted to write





www.lightamillioncandles.com

Not A Good Week

Aug 20 - Aug 24
is nt a good week

Unfortunate things happened 1 after another
and the worst thing is to have lost maybe more than just 1 friend

1) Went out of the class cuz gt no file on Aug 20
2) Handed in a crappy maths file on Aug 21
3) blablabla (dont say here) on Aug 22
4) Completely forgot how to do physics, the science im banking on for A1 on Aug 23
5) Gt scolded by friends + enemies over 27 dollar issue on Aug 23
6) Offended a friend + his friend on Aug 23
7) Lost a Friend. Rest In Peace, Gabriel Goh on Aug 24

Not a good week at all

Have you ever gt the feeling that because you are a man, you cannot show emotion
when it overwhelms you, you will feel very ashamed of yourself, especially when others say that
so you try to act as if nothing happened afterwards, then the people who didnt see you show emotion will think your heartless, or something


www.lightamillioncandles.com

Losing Faith

To Gabriel Goh Wee Siang:

You are a great student
An even greater man
You have many accomplishments that i cannot even dream to have
but yet you passed so quickly
so suddenly
all of your friends at HIHS, 2charity 05, 4sincerity 07, and 6E 03 are missing you, including me
you are not a quitter
and you never said offended your friends
you are a catholic by faith

so please help me ask the man upstairs

he said that he has a plan for each and everyone
is that all you were meant to do?
are all of us the only people that will experience you?
if he had a plan,
is that it for you?
or was it for an even greater plan for the ones around you,
the plan is so great that he had to sacrifice you to do it
you, of all people
the scout,
the student leader,
the friend,

im starting to lose faith in every religion
Can someone help me?



www.lightamillioncandles.com

Open...

Open
Do you know where i want to be right now?

Right there beside you




www.lightamillioncandles.com
...

Really Insensitive Questions

After Reading Some Other People's Blogs
and from conversations with other people

i realized what kind of world i lived in
"the world is beautiful, yet the people who lived there weren't "

Here are some very VERY insensitive questions
If you think you will be offended, please don't read
i will refer to everyone by name
including my friends

Chances are, some of what i wrote there are wrong, so correct me, besides I'm already being so brutally honest.


To Bryan:
Why is it that you study ( a lot more than me ) and yet you get very low scores, as if you didn't study at all?


To Wei Quan:
Is it worth being a Chairman and adding one more thing to your already impressive list of achievements, when you are forced to make decisions that will hurt the ones that you were supposed to lead and become the dog of your superiors?


To Zheng Yang:
Why are you wearing the tie when we all know you hate it?


To Evon:
Does staying in the EXCO for 2/3 years collecting money and writing down staff count as experience in the sense that you know how to deal with people better? eg. How can you believe a newbie counsellor instead of me when i have stayed in the EXCO for 2/3 years ( Because I think i have more experience than you in handling people while working for 1 month )


To Wayne:
What if it was you were fat and people were laughing at you for being fat?


To Caiyi:
Why must talk as if every statement was directed at you, as if everyone was talking to you?


To Wen Hui:
Why do you remain friends with a hypocrite, AFTER knowing that they are hypocrites?


To Xiao Tong:
Why do you remain friends with a hypocrite, AFTER knowing that they are hypocrites?
(Same Question)


To Chun Ling:
Why are you such a hypocrite, and start scolding me just because your friends are too?


To Grace:
Why must you type at everyone else's tagboard that i decided to "lock my blog up"
And Why do you cheer when theres no lesson even though you don't participate in it when there is a lesson?


To Wei Xiang:
Why do you talk so big and yet do so little?


To Eugene:
Why do you deny it (your relationship)?


To Miss Tan Bee Tin:
Why do you keep saying i can't achieve my goals, when you tell my parents that i can because i am intelligent?


To Joan:
Why do you think phark shouldn't be said in front of you, when you say shoots and oh my tian regularly in front of everybody? ( Its just another slang word )


To Guan Zhong:
Why do you deny studying after getting high marks for a test, but not when you get low marks for 1?


To Xin Hui:
What is wrong with my pool table fund?


To Sirs and Ma'ams Of HOLY NPCC ( Probably Not Everyone ):
Why did you always scold us for our mistakes, while you can laugh and joke with the 4 when they commit one? ( not always, but it happens quite often that most of us realizes it)


To Qianru:
Why let go of your hatred for pretty much everything? eg. 2 charity 05


To Miss Lim Lin Lin:
Why do you need so many people to be your lackeys? Doesn't the SLB have enough people that you need those CCA Leaders


To Mrs Wong Vei Li:
Why must you always chuckle a bit ( Hum Chio ) After you scold someone?


To God / Buddha / Whoever:
Why weren't humans made perfect when you have the power to make it so?


To Myself:
Why am i doing "art" when i clearly suck at it?




Qns: Should I really post this entry?
Ans: Yes


Everyone must question their own conscience some time or rather
and i realized that prayer helps you connect with your god, rather than make you find your own mistakes

Sometimes people cannot see their own faults, including me

Sometimes we need other people to tell it to us straight, no sugar-coating
Its not worth being sensitive to feelings when nothing gets done.

Chances are, some of what i wrote there are wrong, so correct me, besides I'm already being so brutally honest.


If you hate me after reading this post, too bad
But ask yourself, Am i accusing you of anything ot merely making a statement not intended to offend you?
remember to check the definition of "accuse"

"The world is beautiful, yet the people who lived there weren't"

www.lightamillioncandles.com
please support them

Goals

Took Back Our Chinese olvl results on monday
got a c6 with merit for the oral
not gonna retake because i most probably won't use it for l1r5

Had English oral today
could have been better
but when i saw those 2 examiners
suddenly panic
then a lot of things planned to say but never
could have been better, a lot better


with only 1 week +++ to prelims
its about time i set some goals

these are my targets for prelims
English B3
Humanities B3
E Maths A1
A Maths B3 or B4
Physics A1
Biology A1
Chemistry B3 or B4

but im still not working hard, at all
plus those targets can only get me a 12 for L1R5
shyt

i REALLY wanna get a 9 for L1R5 for Os
REALLY REALLY
my targets for Os
English A2
Humanities B3
E Maths A1
A Maths A1
Physics A1
Biology A1
Chemistry B3

mostly to change after getting back prelims results
if i were to show my am and chem teachers my goals
they will probably laugh
out loud
then i will be emo after that
haha
...

sometimes i feel that my Os are just to prove to other people that Im not stupid
i dunno why
i just wanna get an A1 and laugh in their faces
and then they will say i know you will get 1 la, i just trying to push you to work harder
sianz
but what if i don't
they will be laughing at me
sighz

www.lightamillioncandles.com
This is NOT an advertisement

Pass The Message

i know i started it without everyone's ideas
i know there wasn't a theme
i know only maybe only bryan or nisha wanted me to design
i know my design sucks
i know i was stupid to not ask for help
i know i was stupid enough to only ask for people whom i know will support me
i know i should not have wasted time to go that far
i know i was stupid to waste other people's time
i know that alot of people didn't like my design but never said anything
i know many people din like my design because it was mine
i know i know that wayne is a much better communicator than me
i know that i will shout when i speak to people i hate
i know you are stubborn
i know you are very stubborn
i know that mr tan is a good teacher
i know that everyone has different views
i know i should not have taken anything for granted
i know she only sa jiao to some people
i know i suck
i know i suck alot
i know i suck alot at design cuz im nt an art student
i know people probably have scolded me in their posts
i know alot of you hate me
i know ONLY polo has that specific texture that you like
i know you are allergic to black
i know 38 people must change their views just so you 3 can be happy
i know my friends are all fed up of you
i know the class is ready to go to war
i know you are blocking me on msn
i know im blocking you on msn
i know that the class's opinion is important
i know i took my friends for granted
i know you are the boss and im here to serve you

guess wad?

i don't really care
but since you can't really read the message
i will ask those who can to pass the message


http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/everybodyhatesglennard/
Sign Today!!
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NilGramends Is Not Advertising

The Power of Silence

Some pharkers need to learn to shut up
as in really stop talking and think for a little while
help them make tshirt make so much phreaking noise
u so pro u make yourself la
no one stopping you wad
bloody hell
dun pay dun pay la
like i earning your money liddat

eh please la remember wad kind of small fry you are before you start making so much noise
the whole class only you one person and that b*tch making noise okay
you think wad, say redesign den redesign so easy arr
say change colour means change colour so easy arr
you ask some other people make they also will tu lan 1 leh
is no energy fight with you nia
cuz you overwork them by asking them redesign wad
u so pro u do la, need me for wad
make me waste my time spend 2 trips go queensway and some ulu place

texture not good not happy
gt collar nt happy
colour too black nt happy
picture too big nt happy
gt number nt happy
uncomfortable nt happy
too expensive nt happy
so pro make urself la
irritating pharker

still gt 1 more b*tch
never do anything keep asking
eh so is polo or jersey
polo or jersey
eh pharking irritating leh you noe
like if jersey means will lose your arm liddat
a stupid pharking reason like this make my friend cry
eh ask yourself, is also your friend leh, this is how you treat your friend 1 is it
somemore is more of your friend than mine leh
you know wads her rationale for stopping
is cuz she know you are tt type of ppl leh,
even your own friend pity you, tts why be your friend
you honestly think you got attractive and sociable personality arr
even conscience also dont have, only have other people sympathise for you
pharking b*itch

Anyway, if you are a reader of my blog, chances are that you are not those 2 b*tches
today during recess i ask wei quan write on whiteboard to bring 20$ buy shirt, gt extra den return
so during chinese lesson, they ask me is polo or jersey, see her face so pissed off liao, so just say 1 word jersey.
she shout across the room "ehh jersey leh, i dun wan buy liao"
so i shout back from beside her " DUN BUY, DUN BUY LA"
she look back at me say " gt talk to you arr"
bloody hell
she can shout i cannot shout arr
den keep talking among the girls, say wad jersey cannot, uncomfortable dunno wad shiite.
like the texture can make you die liddat
think wad toxic arr
those girls only like 8 odd people with maybe a few spectators
den onli about 2 people talking
so that 2 people influence everyone listening
somemore say that they represent all the girls leh
how is it possible that they represent all "27"(i dunno where she get this figure) when i already know of at least 6 girls who are not for their ideas
den keep asking the same stupid questions, polo or jersey?
answer until tu lan liao arr
so while they doing [nothing productive]
I or rather the boys tried to ask for the size of their pe t shirt so we can average the size when we going there on wednesday
den 5 mins later they keep asking
wad colour, wad design, wad texture
so wenhui go there and explain to them
explain liao still ask somemore
somemore is ask the same way as some gangster would ask you "ehh you borrow my money when going to return" that kind of tone.
of course i tu lan la
say like i owe them money liddat
den tt b*tch call wayne, say dunno wad, den he ask me draw the design at the board
i draw the design which we found to be less than 20$ at queensway
den they nt happy, say gt number as crest very weird.
bloody hell never see before say weird
tts not even the worse part yet
keep saying dun wan dun wan cannot put number, liddat very weird
den their own people say dun put number means like copy unity class tee
wad the hell
you want everything to look exactly generic (IE the same) but you still want unique
you are contradicting yourself rite
i stand there shout that line in chinese or singlish or sumthing
ready to shout somemore
den i remember i still in classroom and mr tan still inside
so i stop as a sign of respect to him
den wayne keep taking my phone show them number at the crest is not weird
they see liao nothing to say, so start to argue about the colour
say black not nice
i tot that was settled like 3 weeks ago
think so easy change colour, change yourself la
bloody hell i hear liao dam tu lan lor
lucky wynnie was their "representative"
den even more lucky she understand that cannot change colour so easily
den for some reason she can convey that message to them, thankfully
and the best part is she also don't support them, hurray!!
many people said then that the class was divided by where we sat
and we were ready to go to war
i "send" wenhui there help me explain to them the design
during the second time she go there
her own friend was arguing with her
as if she from iraq liddat
please la
wad kind of backstabber can you be
anyway by looking at her facial expression
we knew she was failing
den me and guanzhong at the side kept saying must send wayne liaoz
den suddenly she walked to the toilet
naturally at least 5 girls followed her
i was damn pissed off at that time lor
if no teacher there i confirm shout back or even throw a chair
i followed them out after a while
lucky she there laughing liao
if not i will be damn guilty
anyway, we tried to compromise
because they couldn't send a sample without us paying
they bo bian must send people there to represent the girls
if the representatives can agree to that SPECIFIC texture or colour or price over THERE. den we settle there liao, no more changing
guess wad that b*thc say
orr i go la, but i cannot on national day celebrations cuz i go out celebrate wad birthday watch wad jay chou movie
so you expecting us to change the date for you la
bloody hell
den the 2 pharking representatives they send HAD TO BE the other b*tch and her best friend
great i have to spend 1 pharking afternoon with them
bloody hell
i hope i have enuff friends to talk to then so i wont shout in front of the shopping center



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What Art Form are You?

Photography. You are probably one to see things from new perspectives. Often times you can be called the peace maker, because you see all sides of arguements or issues. You're well-versed and controversal. People are drawn to your creativity, and most often times wonder what you're thinking. They can't tell what you're thinking, which makes them want to get to know you better! You're a sweet and caring person, who is family and friend oriented.Personality Traits: Kind, Caring, Humble, Loving, Lovable, Optimistic, Romantic, Sensitive, Rational, Confident. Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

A Story Of (insert name)'s Life

you know how people always keep saying
this is just another chapter in my life
the story of my life will be interesting
or the story of my life will not be interesting (IE low self esteem people)

So i gt to thinking
you know how a story have main character (protagonist)
the supporting characters (eg robin, superboy, anyone other than the simpsons family in "the simpsons" and blahblahblah)
the kind people will onli remember if you talk about the main character

so what if your role is only just a supporting character in someone else's story
you were only there to maybe say a few lines that motivate the protagonist so he will feel good about himself
or you were just there to set off a chain of events such that the main character can save the day in a heroic fashion
i mean what if the only purpose in your life is to play seconds to some main character so that he can get a happily ever after
then the story of your life would be " how some idiot lived his life so he could do things that motivated the hero"
if that kind of story came to bookstores, would you even think about it for 2 separate occasions, much less buy it.
i mean could you imagine going to heaven and when "god" or whatever you think the judge is( i dont promote religions)
when he is reviewing your life in a convenient DVD format while you watch nervously beside him
he says " hmm, so you manage to motivate the hero in a typical fashion so he could save the day and/or get the girl, you get to go to heaven ."
If it was me, i would be wondering " so i got to go to heaven because some bastard save the day, not because i actually did something worth going to heaven for, My life must've sucked"

Sometimes i get the feeling my life is like that, but counselling and immediate phsychiatric help changed that

Anyway, speaking of "getting the girl" I've never been a girl but i actually wonder what those type of people are like.
maybe they just sit around all day waiting for some hero to kiss them
or maybe they are perfect in every manner and extremely intelligent , only to serve as some mindless slave doll for the hero/villain.
ever get the feeling that when you read the book, everything the girl seems to do only alludes to the fact that (you think) the only reason she's doing it is so the protagonist will like her ( or so you thought)
i don't think i will ever figure that out, so i wont bother

But there is this one aspect
the villain ( dum-dum-DDDDUUUUUMMMMMM)
you know, the antagonist who only serve to hurt you, and in some aspect make you a better person

i wonder how their book would be written
the protagonist would speak of him as if he was a devil
and then he would write as if he was a hero and he hurt him for a good reason
nevermind im too bored to write any longer

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desparation

i din realize i was being so despo
maybe im just trying to get attention.

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hormones sux

Caution: Every Sentence With The Word "I" Is Fiction, You've Been Warned



Damn all these beautiful girls
they onli wanna do you dirt
they'll have you suicidal, suicidal
when they say it's over


damn these hormones
life was so much easier before girls came into the picture

that's why it'll never work

u think so easy find arr!?!

My friend once said
this kind of thing cannot find one, nature will take its course
but by then you have to learn to take initiative

stupid eugene!!

he found his already

mrs ganesan once told me (in her car) that the trend in 4humility classes
is that by prelims most of us would have found a stead

how true that is
who knows

they say we're too young,to get ourselves sprung
oh we didn't care,we made it very clear
and they also said, that we couldn't last together

nothing really meaningful in these words


Everytime evon and eugene talk about their relationship, i just stand there and hear, not really knowing what is going on


i wish i could do a handstand or bicycle kick

girls have caused me to make too much changes to myself
and yet none seem to realise that
maybe cuz everyone is making the same changes to themselves
so no one is really standing out
everyone hair gt spike/put gel or wax or wadever they put in their hair

I hope im not still a bachelor by 25, seriously
i miss my old life
stupid hormones had to mess it up

apparently i don't have any photos of me with my friends
maybe the result of not having the habit of taking photos or not having friends
i think its a bit of both
yet a whole lot of nothing

i feel sad everytime i visit my own friendster page

can someone shoot me
then replace me with a clone so nobody finds out and doesn't feel sad about it
its a little complicated but its worth for my friends and family



kinda like my anti depressant
i believe i can fly
see me running thru that open door
i believe i can fly

everyone's talking about their him and their hers
then their best friends have to tag along when they get into an argument etcetera
if i had a her
i wonder who would be the best friend to tag along
but more importantly, who would be the her

sometimes i wonder if i am misled by beauty
maybe so, maybe not

im not a big fan of being positive
i NEED to talk to someone honestly
someone who wont get shocked or surprised or judge me
i desperately need to go for counselling
i feel like harry potter except i dont have magic to help me

can someone counsel me
because the me you see at school is just a big ideal picture of some slacker who is happy go lucky
i tot that was me
until i realised there was another me trying to break out of that cage
for one reason or another
and i am dying day by day
until all thats left is a cage with someone dead inside
and all you see is just a ideal happy go lucky slacker
and you dunno why he went insane

!!!!!!!!


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we don't need your money, we just need your support

Some Anti Smoking Essay

I suddenly got the inspiration for this after 2 consecutive rides on the bus.

In my family of four, no one commands more respect and power than my father. He is not exactly a typical tyrant than you would expect, but yet he somehow manages to make you do things you wouldn't normally do without resorting to violence or anger. He is a friendly man who can communicate with pretty much anyone. He is also a very successful businessman who treats both his clients and employees well. In fact, many people consider him to be the perfect man, since he neither drinks nor gambles, but what they do not know is that he smokes, a lot. He doesn't smoke in front of anyone other than his family, and only does it when he is under immense stress. When I was a kid, i used to ask him why he smokes, since it smelt so horrible. He would always answer, " Every time I smoke, one of my wishes will be granted, but i have to use them sparingly, or else there will be no more wishes left." And it wasn't without "evidence", on one occasion he smoked 7 cigarettes in a row the night before an important meeting about a deal with a client. The next day he came home early to celebrate the closing of the deal. So as time went by, I started to believe in what he told me. And i had no reason not to, after all why would my father lie to me?

Next up would be my brother. He is 21 right now and living on his own with his girlfriend. He wasn't very bright in school, only averaging passable grades, making my father very ashamed of him, since he himself was a university graduate. He too was a social person, being one of the most popular kid back in his secondary school days. He was also a natural leader, organising many environment- friendly events in the school. However, the big difference between my brother and my father, was that the former hated smoking. My brother tried to stop him from smoking but he just refused, straining their relationship. Fortunately, even though they never admitted it, I believe that they deeply respected each other's strengths and flaws. My brother is working as a construction worker now, as well as a part time bartender job at night to save up for his future wedding. my mom once described him as being too good to other people for his own good.

My mom was a great woman. Strong, caring and sensitive, and the best part is she totally loves her children. She dotes on me and my brother so much, sometimes we have to ask her not to. But she was the person who instilled a lot of discipline in me. When I was a kid, she used to be very fierce and punished me severely, especially if i did something morally wrong like lying. But as I grew up, she became less strict and shows her caring side.

Lastly, there's me, a Secondary four student who's still a kid at heart. I am quite a smart kid, but lazy. My father puts all his hopes of his children being doctors on me and splurges on me, making me feel guilty that i was stealing attention away from my brother. Fortunately, he understands and doesn't hold grudges against me. As far as religion goes,I'm pretty much a freethinker, with little bits of christianity from my mother and buddhism from my father and grandparents. I do believe that there is a force controlling this world who guides everyone, depending on what they have done. Myd. brother calls it karma, in short, if you do good deeds, you will be rewarded, if you do bad things, you will be punishe So that made me wonder, maybe it was because my father did so many good deeds that made him successful, rather than the cigarettes, but i didn't really pursue the matter.

Now, finally i can continue with the story. I entered Secondary four life as a completely naive child. I didn't know what having a girlfriend was like, what new friends I will have, why people are having so much problems over their boy-girl relationship. And the LCE lessons weren't helping one bit. During the first three months, I did make new friends, but i didn't participate in their activities, basically going home everyday to study, so my grades were quite consistent.

During the one week break, one of my friends, Buddy, called me out to watch a movie with them. Naturally i agreed since i had nothing better to do than study. We watched "insert movie here" and went to play pool nearby until 11pm. Just before we left the area, Buddy led me to a small alley near my house. He then took out a small box from his pocket, which under the dim lighting could not be seen clearly, but he did take out a stick from it. He said' "try it, just one smoke." I hesistated before taking it, but just as i reached out to grab it, a huge torrent(?) of rain swept across the alley, catching both of us by surprise and causing Buddy to drop the stick. I sped towards the opposite void deck near my house. He threw the box to me before running in the opposite direction towards the void deck, shouting to me across the rain, " keep it!" Needless to say I went home drenched, with an angry mother waiting at the door.

On the first day of the 2nd semester, Buddy rushed up to me and put another box of cigarettes into my bag, saying that he has been blacklisted by the Discipline Master and I need to keep the box with me for safekeeping. Before I had to chance to say anything, he dashed off, leaving a motion of blur in its wake (exaggerate too much) . So i was stuck with the another box for who-knows-how-long. School wasn't any much harder for the 2nd semester, except that i have less time to study since I was playing with Buddy and a new friend, "Guy". Guy was a big, strong, tough guy with lots of muscles and a sensitive heart. Its no wonder so many girls are attracted to him, since he was handsome and romantic at the same time. The three of us were interested in both soccer and basketball, so we could fit in with most cliques easily. We played virtually every day after school, alternating between the two sports. One weekend, we played all day at the video arcade until 5 pm, after which we sat by the steps and chatted about life and things like that. I found out that Guy was a smoker, but the only reason he did it was to "keep" his girlfriend. How ironic for a tough guy to be manipulated by a girl. They also tried to persuade me to smoke, saying it was cool and stuff. I tried to light a cigarette in my mouth, but a speeding car went by and splashed water on all three of us, making all the cigarettes as well as the lighter wet. This was the period when they kept pressuring me into smoking.

My Mid-year Examinations results declined by quite a lot. Many of my teachers complained about the sudden tiredness they see in me, mainly because I play till the wee hours of the morning. So during the holidays, my father decided to bring me to a hawker center for lunch as well as a father-to-son talk. As he was holding a lighted cigarette in he left hand and his handphone on the other, he started to check the 4d results. The 1st prize was 1991, which he missed by 2 digits, while the 2nd prize was 1210 which he also missed by 2 digits. However,he blinked a few times when he saw the 3rd prize, the 3rd prize was 9733, which meant he won! Now i began to wonder if cigarettes really did grant wishes.



To Be Continued ...

Life .... After 16

Im not here to blog about what happened during HI Idol. Everyone else did that already, but still congrats to Sulasteri on winning. I don't support popularity contests.

When you reach 16, you start to do a lot of thinking, thinking what you will do after school, what kind of girl/guy will be your future ( or current) girlfriend/stead/wife, how much you will earn or even the the next important thing thats gonna happen to you, whether you are going to a JC or Polytechnic.

I know each has plus and minus(es) and i also know different people who go for different reasons. Some being higher education, some because their parents chose this path for them, some because they WANT to go against their parents. but im not here to talk about that.

im talking about what happens after. Not everyone who gets out of school is automatically given a job related to their diploma/degree, nothing in life EVER happens so predictedly (if such a word exists). Cuz if thats the case, there would no longer be any more hawkers to serve you favorite food, no more cleaners to clear all your messes, and no more annoying salesmen who bug you until you buy something you already have (though that may actually be a good thing).

SO does anyone really have a backup plan if the Integrated Resort (which you took as a diploma) went bankrupt, or if the next biggest trend in jobs is hygiene engineering (i just made that up as a word for toilet) and you just happen to not have a d/d in that industry like pretty much everyone else. or they decided to go back to primary industries so the business d/d just became void.

After all that virtually useless crap, I have classified all the jobs in the world into 3 groups which im not gonna list out since that would take up the internet.
The 3 groups are makers/getters --- the people who does work so you have something in your hands, mainstream include miners, manufacturers, designers while less mainstream workers include sweat shop workers and parents to a certain extent. The next group is the fixers --- the people who fix things, things you got form makers or otherwise. Mainstream jobs include doctors and repairman, detectives, teachers, while less mainstream jobs include cosmetic surgeon, hitmen (people who kill other people, assasins), lawyers, pimps and mama sans. The 3rd group is the entertainer --- people who make sure you are happy and can do your job well. Mainstream jobs include comedians, dancers, actors while less mainstreams include prostitutes and psychologists.

There is this last group, their main purpose is to ensure others are doing what they are supposed to be doing, the Controller, or Leader.they are the CEOs and policemen and stuff. They are the type of people whom schools are trying to groom because they earn the most yet do the least compared to others, they just need to know how to talk and maybe management skills.

So mainly different people have abilities and interests and skills related to different groups. and i also find that its quite difficult to have interested in 2 jobbs of the same groups ( which are nt related) , such as liking doctor and repairman. however, it is obvious when you like music, usually you will like all sections of it but i wont touch on that.

I feel that it is important to be skilled in or at least interested to know more about jobs from various groups, as that will keep you versatile when deciding which job you wanna take when your diploma becomes useless in the real world, or if your education doesn't suit your or the current job demand

for example
im still dunno if i can make it to the JC, which is my first choice
so im making some backup plans

if i DO make it into a JC
i will probably take engineering or medical courses
engineering because i like it and medical because can be doctor/specialist and earn alot of money

But if i DON'T make it, and go into a poly instead

i will avoid engineering because a uni engineer can easily earn more than a poly engineer so difficult to find job.
i will take optometry(eyes) as there is currently no degree yet or theirs is specialist one

if i fail really really badly and go to ITE
i could become a bartender or something the industry then needs.


but im keeping my fingers crossed for jc although being a bartender sounds cool

so basically i wrote all that crap above to write about my plans after 16 provided i dont get retained la


www.lightamillioncandles.com
-------------------------------
Live Earth 07.07.07
I'M NOT EXAGGERATING

3rd strip up

3rd strip up
yay!
i still haven't started on ANY homework yet

my hand is still very ugly, the skin hasn't closed the wounds up yet
its pain when i bend my elbow or touch water


Patrol Lima Oscar Lima 3 by ~wargsmon on deviantART

www.lightamillioncandles.com

Sentosa Trip : Episode 2

Went to sentosa again
this time i gt injured - death by blood loss

wayne was the last one to arrive at hg station (nt surprisingly)
this time onli 6 peeps nia
me,gz,nisha,sherlynn weekiat and wayne nia

when they reach harbourfront vivo
gt ppl try to get their donations
me and gz walked as if we din noe them
they said they could donate 2$ and write a message on a box of juice carton
wayne wrote weekiat [heart] sher and 4 hum below
den we went sentose via monorail

had a bloody blister(literally) due to yesterday's game
so went to the beach first
go there the blister burst, den in the end never go into the water
just sit in the sun/shade suntan
bloody hell

skin crispy liao den go rent bikes
they kept asking me if i was biking or not
so i kept answering i am
and i did
weekiat and sher take tandem bike
gz and wayne aso take tandem bike
me and nisha solo
biked around the bicycle trails a few times
i still very lousy sometimes
cannot keep the bike straight
sumtimes will swerve to left or right
near bang to others
especially weekiat and sherlynn
den we went near palawan beach, the other beach
there the trail very sandy
den i stupid go and speed up
wee kiat suddenly come up next to me den i swerve and fall down
lucky i din bang them, if not i will feel very guilty
i bled quite alot at my right elbow and left hand
the cut quite deep
but not very pain, no saltwater touch, heng arr
washed off with some water before going to the first aid station
the first aider dressed the wounds den take picture, dunno for wad
i still carried on riding the bike to get to our lockers
they keep saying i shldnt
but i still did
in the end, my bandage nearly came off and had to get it re-dressed

went back to vivo at about 5
sher and weekiat went home first
went window shopping
actually i was really bored then
go eat after den go play arcade
altogether play 10+++ matches of air hockey
gz keep saying he is very pro
in the end first match lose quite a big gap
we betted on it
whoever lose pays for the game
i played for 4 matches with gz
2 win 2 lose
the wins all gap very big 1
den lose gap very small like 11-12 or 13-11
den nisha and wayne aso played air hockey
played time crisis 2 after
wayne and nisha played first
den me and gz turn
he died quite early
and had a lot less points than me
but too bad we werent betting

after go outside too find the juice box
they using all the juice boxes to make houses
they trid to find it for 15 odd minutes
den i found it at the first house they checked
lousy, hahas

reached home at 9 plus

the end
hahas

~~~~~~~~~~
www.lightamillioncandles.com

patrol lima oscar lima #2

Patrol Lima Oscar Lima by ~wargsmon on deviantART

yay second strip
still nt much opinions on the first 1 yet
i shld be studying for chinese olvls rite nw

comic

Patrol Lima Oscar Lima 1 by ~wargsmon on deviantART


A little something made in spare time
please dont critisise
done in the style of rich burlew of order of the stick www.giantitp.com/oots
i havent gt his permission yet cuz cant contact him

The Comprehensive Guide To Understanding Glennard -- entry #1

in an effort to make myself more transparent, strictly figure of speech
i decided to blog out stuff about me
such that when and if i say something stupid or hurts u in some way
u can say, glennard is like that 1 la, dun take it seriously or dun be bothered

i see a lot of ppl helping out their frens in such ways
but has anyone helped me yet, i think

The Comprehensive Guide To Understanding Glennard -- entry #1

Glennard \ˈglen-ne:(r)d\ n Organism, half shy, half outgoing human male currently still in teenage years. Known to think too much and talk loudly when it thinks a certain point should be reinforced. However, it is capable of being completely quiet and emo ( see EMO--entry ##) when under stress or awkward situations such as in a room full of strangers. Prone to breakdowns. Relatively creative. Considered by the general populace as one who has low self esteem and is generally negative and slacking

Nil Gramends \ i co(u)ldn't fi:nd the `pro-noun-c(i)a-tion \ n Fictional Character. Alter ego of Glennard Sim. Most commonly found online. It is more brave than Glennard in comparison and has done numerous bold and daring deeds, deeds that will never be mentioned by Glennard to any other, besides those involved. Has a long list of infamous actions, most done online. Glennard usually reverts to this character either online, or trying to escape harsh realities of life. Many of the "creative' ideas are created by Glennard when in his alter ego of Nil Gramends, as usually Glennard will think that they suck and don't even try. Perfectionistic a in certain sense



Some of the things Glennard usually says and what he really thinks

I'm Bored

[What he really thinks]

I feel lonely and want someone to talk to, and was hoping that by saying im bored would instantly be a conversation topic.


Don't Want [to do something] lah

[What he really thinks]

I really want to join it but due to some insecurity issue, refuse and use laziness as an excuse.


Bloody Hell

[What he really thinks]

Bloody Hell


I tell u something/ Do u want to listen?, don't want jiu suan le(nevermind)

[What he really thinks]

Im about to tell you something very important which will either give u an advantage or make me feel better and less insecure, so shut up and listen.



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Sentosazzz

Second post of the day
very tired liaoz

Went to sentosa today with 4hum ppls
about 10 nia

evon said its the first actual 4hum gathering den call mrs susanne ng to congratulate us
wayne say mrs ng will say y neve invite us
hahas

went to the beach first
played a little soccer in the sand while waiting for the ppl to change
the sand was very very hot
but wear slippers very itchy
so play barefoot

when they changed and jumped into the water
i just stayed dry with wayne and joan
they kept trying to "persuade" us to go in
den we give up and went to change
when we change finish
gt wet for a few minutes den they say wanna go cycle
wah lao wet liaoo den say go
hahas

later we go cycle
i brought roller blades
so no need pay money
but i the slowest
cuz small wheels top speed very slow

they went a main road way
for cars and bus 1
den a lot of uphill and downhill road
den i escaped death 3 times
2 times when i fell at the road
all the bus uncles look at us keep pointing us to stay away
bryan went back to find me
he aso kanna pointing by the uncles
i fell down 3 times lor all during down and uphill road
1ce when bryan made me carry his bag den i cannot balance
but he stay with me cuz i very slow
i aso cannot do downhill cuz too fast
if use heel brake den will slide 1 side hit the wall or trees
1ce i actually fell in the middle of road
lucky bus already pass by
they went to see the merlion
in the end reach there cannot go up
so take picture at the small fountain

went back to the bus station
i took off my blades and walked back
they went to return the bikes
i just sit at the steps wait for them
only joan rachel bryan and evon went back to find me
the rest playing soccer at the beach
we bought some water and go back to find them
saw them playing with other ppl
wayne play for a while den break his skin at the toe
bleed alot
so ask the first aider come and help
i subbed him
den playplayplay
i back heel the ball alot
everytime take the ball wait a while before passing
seldom dribble
dunno y
maybe lazy
wayne scored and dribbled around them alot
everyone was impressed with his skill
even them
after 2 goals(draw) we went to bathe
den too many ppl so go to bus station toilet to bathe
in the end there aso no shower
so they walk back
i just sit there again wait for them
in the end the girls never bathe
cuz queue too long

went back to vivo afterwards
in a monorail
went to a place overlooking the port
to pose for picture
there saw michelle covering her mouth
she saw wayne tried to run away
went to burger king to eat
7$ for 1 small burger and large fires and coke
plus both aso nt very big
rather eat at carls jr
much MUCH bigger burgers sia
walked to the station
along the way the saw a watch shop
they decided to take a look
so i stood outside
after a while rachel and evon join me
say they take very long to choose watch
in the end everyone( ithink) who were looking at the watch bought 1
walk some more
saw the custom bag shops
the brand name was taggar
almost like mine
but i saw the bag like very flimsy
very easy to break

den take mrt home
and bus
den finish
the end

hahas

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High School Never Ends

In High School
different people introduce different things to ur life
things that u wldnt have explored if they werent in ur life

simple examples

fear-ms michael(closest too the actual thing)
sadism- WONG vei li

she smiles to herself when she invigilates and she smiled during msmichael talk

humor thru being idiots and minor perverts- Boys of 2cha`05
sports- Boys Of 4hum`07 and probably a few girls
Mass Hardcore Studying- General Population of 4hum
Trust- Yang
Innocence- WenHui
Diao ing- Xiaotong and linda ( no offence)
Respect- Npcc
Teamwork- Npcc
Technology/various nerdy stuff- Kenneth(no offence)
Humor- Haoxiang


wanna keep my list short
if nt no one will read
hahas

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im the strong silent type
yeah rite

im a funny man
yeah rite

Im a handsome being
yeah rite

Im a deep psychological creature
yeah rite...

exams over

MYE is over
dun feel like celebrating
din put in much effort so dun expect much results
also dun expect myself to be excited about end of exams

ya i know there are people who really tried their best
they deserve to scream when the papers are over
they are the ones who truly felt that the end of mye was a good thing
nt just another passing day
but among those who screamed the loudest, none seem to have put in effort

maybe tts y i wasnt in the really high mood that day
but i put on the clown's mask
and tried to play the fool
maybe i wasnt even close
hope no one notices

my results are nothing to be proud of either
the only 1 i can think of is probably 8/10 for the first part of cl paper 2
the one with a passage den feel in the blanks
usually i just get a 4 or 3/10
but nothing else really

i din get to see my compo today
i tried personal recount in a long time
it was quite dramatic
if i dun get gd results, i probably wont risk personal recount again

np day
raining again
no hiccups
gd

Walk Away And Move On

www.lightamillioncandles.com

An Old Essay keeping it here so i can remember next time

Write about an occasion when you were given some good advice and how you reacted to it.

“This could be your big break!” those words kept ringing in my ears. I could still remember that event clearly. I was spray-painting a wall about two blocks away from my school. The piece was almost done when I heard someone shout behind me, ” stop!” that voice was vaguely familiar, but my mind couldn’t process it that moment. Escaping was the only thought in my mind, I even dropped my spray can and bolted towards the nearest exit. At first, I was able to put some distance between him and I, but he soon caught up because I had difficulty breathing through my gas mask.

In a few seconds, the brutish man held on to my arm and shoulder, threatening to report the incident to the police. He said that he would only give me the slip if I took off the gas mask which covered my face. I hesitated for a moment, but after weighing my options, took off the mask. Both of us were shocked as we recognized each other. He was once my Art teacher who was promoted to be a senior lecturer at the Arts Academy. He dragged me back to the scene of the crime and gathered all my spray cans. He said that my piece was the greatest work of art he has ever seen from a teenager and wanted to give me a scholarship to the Academy. For the second time in one day, my jaw dropped. Never in a million years had I expected graffiti to be rewarding. It has only served as a form of self-expression until this point in time. He gave me his hand phone number and told me to give him my decision in a week’s time. He advised me to take this opportunity and make a name for myself.

With a box of spray cans in my arms, I walked home, deep in thought of the slightest possibility of my parents accepting the proposal. My parents were respected doctors who treated family like an army. They were people of science and worked with fixed formulas, unlike myself, who needed creative space to work to my fullest potential. I’m an underground hip-hop and graffiti fan, while my parents followed the National Geographic like it was the Bible. In short, we are the polar opposite of each other.

As I opened the door, part of me was hoping that my parents would accept my decision, while another part was trying to forget the incident. I wrote everything that happened today in my diary, hoping that it would only lighten my mood. I also tried to recall all the good times I had with my family, but it all seemed to turn sour. In a fit of anger and disappointment, I tore out the pages from my diary and threw it away, thinking of giving up and not letting my parents know at all

For the next six days, my world turned upside down. Everything and everyone just seemed to be in my way. My parents decided to take the day off and spend some time cleaning the house, surprising me as they had never let the cleanliness of the house, or anything else as a matter f fact, to obstruct their work. I went into my room, drawing my art pieces when my parents entered and showed me the pages of diary, which I tore out. They said that all they want is for me to be happy. For the first time, I saw their understanding side and a single tear rolled down my cheek as they said.” follow your dreams.”

In the next few years, I graduated as valedictorian of my batch in Arts Academy. My parents also amassed a small fortune, which they used to build a school for orphans, where I was one of the teachers. The school also has a mural facing the gate, the same one that I never completed back as a teenager, still incomplete, with the words written at the side. “ Follow your dreams.”

By: glennard sim

4 Hum 2007

Music

Music is the language of the soul, an expression of self, a portrait of the point of view of the artist him/herself
it is usually a form of breaking the rules or confines of society throught its lyrics / rhythm

some examples

Genres:
Pop - Breaking the rules to earn (a lot of ) money
Gospel - Breaking the rules to spread religion / religious principles
Christian rock/any other genre - Breaking the rules to spread christianity
Jazz - Breaking the rules to showcase vocal or instrumental talents (they are really good at that)
Traditional - Confining to most rules while spreading their culture
EMO - Breaking the rules to tell others of their pain inside
Blues - Breaking the rules to show their sadness but not as much as emo (sometimes fun though)
Rhythm and Blues (RnB) - Breaking the rules to merge jazz and blues but mostly with happier and funner lyrics
Soul - Breaking the rules to express themselves or their ideas
ROCK - Breaking the rules to make other genres possible
Punk - Breaking the rules to preserve their ideas and principles (anti-establishment)
Metal - Breaking the rules to break your ear drums or just because they can
Goth - Breaking the rules because they hate everyone else
Hip Hop - Breaking the rules to Preserve their history or pride or make people aware of their issues
Electronic - Breaking the rules to showcase their computers
Dance - Breaking the rules to make you move your feet on the dancefloor
Techno - Breaking the rules to give you something to rock your head to when you take ecstasy
Raggae - Breaking the rules to infuse dance and culture
Country - Breaking the rules to IRRITATE THE HELL OUT OF YOU
HEAVY METAL - Breaking the rules to MAKE METAL 10 TIMES WORSE

pretty much everything i understand about music
anyone gt objections or additions
add to tagbox

www.lightamillioncandles.com - they don't need your money, they just need your support
end child pornography

NPCC

Definitely no regrets...

www.lightamillioncandles.com

Time

Time waits for no man

post number 45 liao

5 more posts til the big 50

Lotsa ppl have been telling me to link them

i probably wont till im desparately bored or olvls

only half a year left till Os
im aware of it but i dun seem to be doing anything about it
10 points seem very far away if i carry on like this
HELP!!

We probably have like 1week - 2months before we actually fall out
i probably wont know about it until the day itself
Am i going to miss NPCC? Or will i be glad its finally over? :(
both answers seem to be excuses


Why do all the teachers who teach subjects that i excel at always seem to say U are a very smart kid?
And all those whom im weak at suan me even when i actually work hard?

If You Had A Choice, Would You Choose To Be A Thief Or A Police?

www.lightamillioncandles.com

Sorry Starts With An Ass

Sorry Starts With An Ass

Im sorry

Today i was the ass

Im sorry

sometimes people just stop thinking and do something stupid and make everything from bad to worse. And The Even worse part comes from the fact that it was my fault. I know im stupid, sometimes i just forget to think and start acting like a jerk. And I gt wad i deserved, A cold Shoulder and a few drops of tears. IT was thoroughly my fault, I shouldnt have laughed so loud and so hard, i shouldnt have distanced myself. But i did and the onli one i can blame is me.

Im sorry

The Biggest mistakes in the world are not caused by evil intentions, but idiots who stop thinking, even for 1 sec.

A Burst of laughter can lead to millions of tears
A drop of rain can lead to a flood
An angry thought can lead to violence

You can say its a stupid mistake but the guilt never goes away until you are forgiven

Im sorry

Will You Forgive Me?
From The Bottom of my heart,
Im sorry

___________________________________________________________
We Don't Need Your Money, We Just Need Your Support
lightamillioncandles.com

Camp's Over

Sec 1 leisure camp is finally over

the hard work that most of us put in has paid off

although i wouldn't mind more manpower throughout the camp


I felt proud of myself after the camp, for the first time. Seriously. I felt that i have really contributed to my squad and the instructors. i just hope everyone else feels the same way about me!!

The preparation itself had a lot of hiccups along the way. mainly due to time constraints and the stupid after school lessons. Plus there were many things we really really din know until we became ncos, such as instructors can sleep on mattresses and kerosene bombs and ropes will spoil if they touch water. It's these little things that really gave us a lot of problems.


The first day of the camp was probably the worst. We were all very lax and left a lot of things to let the senior ncos do like suicide window, so we gt scolded basically. We din really know what to do cuz some went to help sec 3s but ci taking so we dun dare go near them then others try help suicide window but they are doing everything and we dont know what to do.the seniors also made a 5 spar flagstaff but it broke so we reduced it to 3. so the first day was nt quite successful
there was 1 sentence during debrief that i remember very well and motivated me for the next day. " You all know that you are short on manpower, so you have to do 2 person's work. My senior Ncos are only here to help you all, not run the camp for you all."

The second day was much better IMO. everyone knew what to do and we werent like first day keep running around aimlessly. but still quite problematic cuz cannot find each other when we busy. But our squad still can't motivate a large group of cadets, esp sec 1s, well enough yet, since they are more afraid of CIs than us. Another problem about taking squad is that, sometimes we dont know the priorties, whether to train them discipline first or to save time first so we usually get very confused over this matter, and thats when the CIs or senior Ncos start to scold us.
the main problem in this day was that a lot of us was too caught up in preparation that we din take the sec 1s at all, some people even played with flour and water. The campfire was successful but only after using wei quan's wood. our campfire nearly died cuz we din have a kerosene bomb and our wood wasnt dried properly. So lesson Learned here. the campfire really gt high after the sec 2 and 3 performance. YOU GUYS DID VERY WELL!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!! thx to all who contributed esp the instructors.

Third Day was area cleaning plus urban hike. The urban hike was quite interesting but it was very tiring. WE WON. Our group was the first and we did it b4 lunchtime. THX Kelvin, elaine, woei jiun, wee kit, jun xian, jun liang(energizer), ming hui(map man), nina, lijing, Shenn Ma'am plus ME. if i miss out anyone must tell me hor. shenn maam gave jun liang a lollipop and he suddenly energize liao and walk dam fast. But he made us run cuz usually he reach checkpoint first.
lesson learned here is that mus keep encouraging cadets and let them navigate on thier own dun help too much.

The sec 1 leisure camp is over, Ive learnt many things as an NCO, i only fear that its too late.
When u try your best and people still shoot you down, that sux. THX jianyong for trying to up my morale

VDAY'S EVE another sucky "holiday"

Its tat time of the year again where people get all lovey dovey and flower sellers (botanists?) get all high from the pure cash they are getting. Just by going out with a flower basket can net you $4 per rose if you know where lovers roam.

ok im bored

Once again its the stupid holiday that reminds me of the infinite loserdom that im trapped in. as if Christmas hasnt done enough to the poor psyche of a young fragile teenage mind.
life sucks when you cant celebrate valentine's day. If only.

I've always wondered whats wrong with me. Maybe i wasn't born with looks like mr.shawn and maybe i wasn't born with talent like alam shah. Maybe i wasn't born with social skills like edwin or maybe i wasn't born smart but who really likes smart guys anyway. maybe im just too scared or maybe i dunno the right words to use or maybe im just dumb.

Someday
When my life has passed me by
I lay around and wonder why you were always there for me
One way
In the eyes of a passerby
I look around for another try and fade away
Just close your eyes and Ill take you there
This place is warm without a care
Well take a swim in the deep blue sea
I go to leave and you reach for me
Somesay
Better things will come our way
No matter what they try to say
You were always there for me
-sugar ray

i wonder who will be the 'you' for me in those lyrics.

maybe im just too stupid to realize that 'you' are just in front of me

Dam Migraine

Dammit Migraine for 2 weeks liao
every attack seem to happen after go in or go out of aircon room or very cold place
summore onli gt migraine when brain stop working

when
play com
surf net
listen music
play with dog
or do homework den no attack
summore everytime sleep wake up either migraine or no appetite
been trying to act macho to the problem for 2 weeks
onli try using panadol 3 days ago
gt abit effect but must have relatively slow music
like SUGAR RAY

summore when do homework until dunno how to do sit there stare at qns den start migraine again

dam

doctor say may be due to stress
but everytime i tell ppl i have stress they laugh at me think i joking
sianz nvm its your own opinion

my mum say maybe have 'hidden' stress, cuz got stress also dunno or trying to repress it

today went to see doctor during lessons
at start of lessons during chem no problem onli start when doing corrections in english lesson
den recess force myself eat
so that can eat panadol
but when eating feel like want to vomit cuz no appetite
dammit
den take 1 panadol see gt effect
after 10 mins migraine worse so take second 1
then later go up 4th floor with eyes almost closing like wanna faint like that.
feeling like when you stand at NDP until the stupid guest of honour come that type

try to endure the pain through maths lesson
cuz we go com lab
dam stuffy plus hot so pain become worse
then finally give up weixiang bring me go find mrs ng
she say call parents so can go home
my mum came in about five minutes time cuz she working nearby
then go see Doctor H. H. Tay (i think)
around kovan area
the doctor say that nothing wrong with muscles
he also say its hereditary cuz my mum had it as well plus hers is worse
he also say maybe due to sudden change light or sound
extra sensitivty
he also say maybe cuz nerve problem in my right side of the brain
cuz i still young den maybe gt have more severe problems or blood clot

sianz

scarly i gt nerve or brain cancer sianz

my brain right side pain onli left side not pain

Sorry to all the people who had to waste time because i was sick
sorry mrs ng for making u waste your time on me when you could have marked other papers
sorry Weixiang for making you waste curriculum time to bring me to sickbay
sorry guanzhong for helping me tell teacher i was sick
sorry wenhui for wasting your time to worry about me and calling me
sorry xiaotong for wasting your time to bring down my bag
sorry bryan for helping me carry my books up
sorry ZhiHui for asking about how i feel and wasting your energy on me
sorry MUM for making you waste money on going doctor and taxi fare

AND THANK YOU ALSO for worrying about me
but i dun wan uall to waste your energy as you could have done better things at that time


PS CONGRATS LIONS!!! for winning the ASEAN Cup

esp Daniel Bennett, MUSTAFIC FAHRUDIN, Aide Iskandar, Noh Alam Shah, Khairul Amri, Indra, Precious, LIONEL LEWIS, Baihakki, SHI JIA YI, Ridhuan, Fazrul Nawaz, Shahril Ishak, Subramani, Hafiz Osman, Noh Rahman

and Of course

Raddy Avramovic

Homework Song

My Brother Josh
(electric guitar solo NANEINANEI)
Is Doing His Homework
(NANEINANEI)
The Kind Of Work
(NANEINANEI)
You Do At Home
(NANEINANEI)
Guess thats Why They Call It Homework
(NANEINANEI)

WILL YOU STOP IT (josh)

--- Drake and Josh

Suddenly I See

We've got some BIG polys right here in singapore.
no wonder we dun have enough space for other stuffs.

thurs
went to Temasek Poly in around tampines area
one way trip
quite okay la, except tt the students very enthusiatic
everytime we enter or exit one school they start cheering, which gets really lame after a while
reminds me a lot about PSLs
anyway, itz quite a organized school, although itz big, they gt alot of exhibition so take up alot of space and make ppl squeeze thru so they dont break their exhibits
also got quite some people cosplaying but all very ugly. the onli 1 mildly acceptable is the guy trying to be L of deathnote. he still quite okay except hair abit wrong.
to the school itself, still quite nice. architecture still quite new, not much wear and tear on their stuff cuz they jus built(?) or something. but still quite ok la can get around the school without getting lost. we had some kind of tour or something so the whole class had to see IT,applied science and engineering until 3plus.
the engineering school was disappointing, cuz all the exhibits never explain plus all jus gt blinking light nia, nothing impressive.
throughout the trip, i carried wenhui,xiaotong n jelena goodie bags cuz they carry so much school stuff and im the only one that dun have any books hahas. but they also quite good la, the only ones waiting for me when i too slow. ONE WAY SUX especially when you dont know the way. whats the point of putting 1 way when u go so far and 2 ways when the school is so near.


FRI
went to ngee ann polytechnic
clementi area
its like a small town in itself. its really big and some are areas are quite high up compared to the roads on the highway
also 1 way so road back sux
REALLY REalLY big. starting go to some lecture hall for a video clip den aso get goodie bag
aso same help the girls carry bag. we went to some convention hall den split up liao. cuz no tour except at the seperate schools. met up with the integ ppl and takkin den go IT school first. quite far from the main hall. quite interesting, but aso disappointing cuz they guide mention bleach n naruto so the whole integ ppls all waiting to see thier face. in the end is just 'this the the room we used to animate' HAHAHS. den we go shuttle bus stop wait for bus. wait for 3 bus still none of them want to alight. somemmore so dam hot den we wanted to walk back den sweeswee gt 2 bus com at the same time, so we split up cuz bus no space. we went to mass comm with onli about 6 ppl. we went up 9 floor ON STAIRS cuz the effing adrain wanna see plus the lift overflow of ugly girls. so we went up to find them, lucky at the end gt air con if nt die of exhaustion. when we finish come down liao, adrain n ben say they wanna go see business den edwin say wanna go home. so i call jelena they all and waited downstairs until they finish their tour.yang and shuan waited with me. whil waiting saw kenneth and edwin tan(?) come down. den we talk for awhile den they go off. finally the 3 vip girls come down summore with black face. so dun dare make jokes hhahahs
later the guys n me met up and went for dinner at 401 near the church via 74 bus.



After seeing the different polys, i found 2 feasible choices to take.
one is Engineering/Physics
One is Doctor/Biology(wadever tt school is called)

but im not going poly im going jc so the choice is still very much open.
mass comm and IT is out of the question cuz my father will kill me cuz he thinks gt too much ppl out those diplomas and diff to get job
business is possible if i going poly but nt if i go jc cuz by then it will be too late plus im nt a businessy person
Applied science is out cuz CHEM SUX
Design is still possible but diff to get idea when stressed during exam plus i dun think jc have.


my father kept bugging me to be doctor or more specifically specialist(specialise in one thing like eyes or cancer)i always dismissed tt suggestion cuz i din think i could get that much of education. what if i failed, tt means i wasted up to 10 years of tertiary education. but now after seeing ppl in poly, i suddenly rmb my dad's suggestion. it wasnt becuz i gt smarter out of the blue, but because i remembered y i went for tertiary education. because i wanted to give my parents and my future family a good life. which i can onli achieve with MONEY and a good job. So suddenly i felt like specialist was my onli career choice and yet i dont seem to be working any harder. maybe sumone need to wake me up.

the other choice is engineering which deals with physics. yay physics. I love physics. so obvious choice. but my onli fear in this job is that wont get gd job in the end end up as air con servicer. cuz there may be too many engineers in singapore already. sadsadsad. zomg. somemore a good job in engineering is nothing compared to a small time doctor in a clinic. the $$$ difference is quite big.


WAKE ME UP FROM THINKING OLVL IS """ONLY""" a few months AWAY


"Suddenly I See, This Is What I Wanna Be,
Suddenly I See, Why The Hell It Means So Much To Me" -- KT Tunstall (Suddenly I See)

New Year Resolutionzzz

HAPPY NEW YEAR ok maybe a little too late
but Ive come up with a few new year resolutions ( finally)


i used the first few days of 2007 to try and collect 'opinions' of what people thought of me
there were people who knew me for 4-5 years but also people who onli remebered my name after 2006, so the opinions were quite different. there are still many similarities.

i did this to find out how people with different levels of contact with me thought i was. like how someone who knows me for onli 2 months thought i was, its a little difficult to explain but i wanted to know what kind of person i was from their point of view


so my findings include ( all comments are quoted ) ::

"erm...still ok.very depressed.think alot about life.often ask qns. gd 2 ppl. lazy.
easy to get along with.dif 2 understand me"


ok...quite expected except the "gd 2 ppl" part, maybe i am but no one seems to appreciate or thank me when i do ( or i din rmb them) so it doesnt stick to the mind


"can be funny.. straight forward.. quite cool at times.. pro at some kind of thing like paint and photoshop... good as a friend.. "


once again quite a positive 1, maybe cuz he knew me for a very long time, but cool only "at times" but still ok rite.

"u sometimes seems to find me at the wrong time"


basically it means bad timing, but i can see why.


"sometimes you think to much. thn is like. small lil stuff you think until so big. causing headache for others."

understandable

"i think u r a person who needs more confidence in whatever you are tasked to do... but i believe, u can do great things if you have the correct attitude towards the things you have to face.... =)"


obviously this comes from someone much wiser than myself.

"a gd fren, accept u keep on say i typical humility, then so much philosophy, others still ok, not serious abt studies, but other than that really a gd fren , can keep secret"

pretty much the same thing except the not serious about studies. SO TRUE and the can keep secret as well


"hahas. easygg lo, but stm i think u too straightforward bah"

wow im easygoing? but ive been straightforward all my life, and proud of it!

"DUNNO"

no comments

"straightforward guy"

read above for straightforward

"you appear to me as someone with quite low self esteem. thus, not being happy most of the time. kinda think lowly of yourself and don mix much with people. err...
from wad i see in npcc as well as in class last time la"

this was actually 1 of the longer conversations ive had about tt qns (what do you think about me?) cuz most ppl jus say DUNNO hahaz. but ya i agree with it mostly cuz tts how ive been in 2006

and then comes the most unexpected of all

"unpredictable"

WhAT? when i asked if it meant depressed like most answers ive gotten, i gt a no
I'm Actually unpredictable? wow


OK so on to my actual resolutions
1) actually study this year
2) be less depressed, i dunno how tts actually possible but...
3)get better timing
4)always tell people of how straightforward i am so they do not get hurt as much
5) get a CHIO girl to fall in love with me ( so far that has not happened yet, oh well )
6) umm make more friends who will remeber me after my secondary school years