Monday, September 28, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Friends and a rant about complainers
no picture today
went to compass to study with jelena. put in a solid 3 hours in maths and a bit in chem. its ok, but i could have done more, its quite irritating to lose momentum once you start, because you just don't wanna start again.
went home and ate dinner with family outside.
anyway, lets' talk about something that's arbitrarily important.
FRIENDS
i have never been the most approachable guy in the room, not even when i'm alone. so i tend to wait for people to talk to me before i open my mouth, which is admittedly a bad habit. most of my friends know that i ususally have something to say about something, but most of the time i just don't say it. i just keep feeling like there's never a good opportunity to say certain things. i'll admit im a very loud person, it has to do with my upbringing. but so many times, i feel like everytime i open my mouth, i'm not really contributing to anything positively, i'm just filling my ego.
so i end up with less friends than i could have. in my class, we have a mean score of 54 out of 90, which is great and everything. but like some people pointed out, these scores were done by people who just do their work alone and they stand out, which i feel is quite sad actually. i mean i'm not undermining their efforts, i just felt that if they had shared, and if we had been more open to this kind of input, we'd score even better. elizabeth pointed out that in 2s02, which is like the best science class presently, i think, they have a great class bond and they share help with each other, like the best in certain subjects just teach what they know and the others do the same. this is also true in 2a06, the best arts class. so yeah, teamwork does help. the teachers have said it, the principal has said it, now i have said it (yeah i just put myself in the same league as teachers and principals).
i think what really stops us from getting even better results is the lack of social interaction. i used to describe our class as having too many negatives (as in charges, if you take physics you'd understand), and too few positives. too many of us in our class are reliant on people talking to them before they contribute. there is like only what 2 positives in our class and they can't do all the heavy lifting. i mean it's probably already too late to really do anything about it, but i'm just saying
(oh boy html humor)
also, another thing i cannot understand. people like to equate volunteering and trying to be a leader to boot licking and kissing ass. i hear a lot of these stories from army. i have been on both sides of the fence, i was once a follower who thought they kissed ass, and a leader (in some aspect, what have you). being a leader made me realise how minor and meaningless most people's complaints are. everyone likes to complain that we don't do this, don't do that, never help the students, say this say that during election then in liao then never do anything. if we take a very consequentialist viewpoint (look it up), we can say that you stood to lose nothing through the votes and you didn't after it, so unless you lost a pound of flesh when you draw that circle on the oas, you can't really have anything to say.
i mean people stand up and we volunteer and we say, hey maybe i can do something to help. and people shoot us down and say, you selfish, you useless, you this you that. take a moment and think about how unfair and more importantly how unjustified that statement was. i mean, sometimes, people out of sheer goodwill and altruism, decide to help his fellow man and people take advantage. scott adams was right, people are selfish, greedy and horny, and that will never change.
if we took another point of view and said, but you really didn't help me with. think about that request for a minute, and then think about how ridiculously selfish it was. chances are 9 out of 10 times, the request directly benefitted you, and more importantly, at the expense of someone or something else, and also, did you think of the adverse impact on someone else when you complained. i mean, if we could do something to help you that will not directly or indirectly affect something else adversely, we'll do it, and we'll do it happily. here's an example, during the student forum last year, one of the biggest complaint was how the timetable was screwed up. some people wanted it to be longer, some wanted it to be shorter. how in the world is mrs tan supposed to make everyone happy like that, she has to accommodate everyone, encluding the teachers, who graciously have accepted what they were given, in other words they didn't even have a say in it (i think). now think back and ask yourself if you thought about the teachers or even better, the uncles and aunties who lock up after you leave. so ya, people are retarded.
so think about it, if you were to rate all the individual councillors on how they helped you, they would probably all fail. because you are THAT selfish.
(oh the geekyness)
for the longest time i have had friends who are anti-social. and more importantly, because i tried to be more like them, i became more anti-social as well. i kind of think that was a dumb mistake on my part. a lot of times i wanted to do something and because i had no friends who wanted to join me, i ended up backing out, which i sometimes regretted. in this kind of scenarios, i really don't know how to act. should i go for it and end up alienating my friends, or should i not go and waste a perfectly good opportunity.
as i grew up, i became more appreciative of opportunities, especially to do things i have hever tried before. but the reluctance and the hesitation never went away with age. with each new endeavour, i felt equally or even more afraid of trying. and sometimes without my friends, i ended up wasting it. i think that's what people in the industry like to call peer pressure. but i don't really know, it just feels like a lack of support.
also another thing as i grew up, i became more detached from "cliques" and just became this like wanderer from said "cliques". i mean it has it's benefits, at least i have a greater network now. but once in a while, i would think back and wonder what it would like to have a clique, just an exclusive group of maybe 4-6 friends who know anything and everything about each other. i think one thing is for sure, i certainly missed out on telling people my secrets, that's for sure. and whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is open to interpretation.
something jelena asked me as we boarded the mrt, you don't talk to your old friends one meh. then what if you'all like got something to say, you just don't say to anybody? i can't say this for all guys, but i now thts pretty much all that is from me. i don't really share with other people. that's why i keep a blog in the first place (actually that's the second reason, the first is to. that's not to say i'm not a good friend. i mean if i see someone that i am friends with, someone that i click with, i automatically have something to say and the other party also. just because we don't say things randomly, doesn't mean we have nothing to talk about when we in fact do meet. i thnk that if you can click with someone, even if you don't talk to them in a while, you won't ever really feel awkward around that person, not even in a million years.
it's never easy finding friends, but you will never feel that they be the ones who are stopping you from doing what you want.
unless you're taking drugs, then they'll stop you.
went to compass to study with jelena. put in a solid 3 hours in maths and a bit in chem. its ok, but i could have done more, its quite irritating to lose momentum once you start, because you just don't wanna start again.
went home and ate dinner with family outside.
anyway, lets' talk about something that's arbitrarily important.
FRIENDS
i have never been the most approachable guy in the room, not even when i'm alone. so i tend to wait for people to talk to me before i open my mouth, which is admittedly a bad habit. most of my friends know that i ususally have something to say about something, but most of the time i just don't say it. i just keep feeling like there's never a good opportunity to say certain things. i'll admit im a very loud person, it has to do with my upbringing. but so many times, i feel like everytime i open my mouth, i'm not really contributing to anything positively, i'm just filling my ego.
so i end up with less friends than i could have. in my class, we have a mean score of 54 out of 90, which is great and everything. but like some people pointed out, these scores were done by people who just do their work alone and they stand out, which i feel is quite sad actually. i mean i'm not undermining their efforts, i just felt that if they had shared, and if we had been more open to this kind of input, we'd score even better. elizabeth pointed out that in 2s02, which is like the best science class presently, i think, they have a great class bond and they share help with each other, like the best in certain subjects just teach what they know and the others do the same. this is also true in 2a06, the best arts class. so yeah, teamwork does help. the teachers have said it, the principal has said it, now i have said it (yeah i just put myself in the same league as teachers and principals).
i think what really stops us from getting even better results is the lack of social interaction. i used to describe our class as having too many negatives (as in charges, if you take physics you'd understand), and too few positives. too many of us in our class are reliant on people talking to them before they contribute. there is like only what 2 positives in our class and they can't do all the heavy lifting. i mean it's probably already too late to really do anything about it, but i'm just saying
also, another thing i cannot understand. people like to equate volunteering and trying to be a leader to boot licking and kissing ass. i hear a lot of these stories from army. i have been on both sides of the fence, i was once a follower who thought they kissed ass, and a leader (in some aspect, what have you). being a leader made me realise how minor and meaningless most people's complaints are. everyone likes to complain that we don't do this, don't do that, never help the students, say this say that during election then in liao then never do anything. if we take a very consequentialist viewpoint (look it up), we can say that you stood to lose nothing through the votes and you didn't after it, so unless you lost a pound of flesh when you draw that circle on the oas, you can't really have anything to say.
i mean people stand up and we volunteer and we say, hey maybe i can do something to help. and people shoot us down and say, you selfish, you useless, you this you that. take a moment and think about how unfair and more importantly how unjustified that statement was. i mean, sometimes, people out of sheer goodwill and altruism, decide to help his fellow man and people take advantage. scott adams was right, people are selfish, greedy and horny, and that will never change.
if we took another point of view and said, but you really didn't help me with
so think about it, if you were to rate all the individual councillors on how they helped you, they would probably all fail. because you are THAT selfish.
for the longest time i have had friends who are anti-social. and more importantly, because i tried to be more like them, i became more anti-social as well. i kind of think that was a dumb mistake on my part. a lot of times i wanted to do something and because i had no friends who wanted to join me, i ended up backing out, which i sometimes regretted. in this kind of scenarios, i really don't know how to act. should i go for it and end up alienating my friends, or should i not go and waste a perfectly good opportunity.
as i grew up, i became more appreciative of opportunities, especially to do things i have hever tried before. but the reluctance and the hesitation never went away with age. with each new endeavour, i felt equally or even more afraid of trying. and sometimes without my friends, i ended up wasting it. i think that's what people in the industry like to call peer pressure. but i don't really know, it just feels like a lack of support.
also another thing as i grew up, i became more detached from "cliques" and just became this like wanderer from said "cliques". i mean it has it's benefits, at least i have a greater network now. but once in a while, i would think back and wonder what it would like to have a clique, just an exclusive group of maybe 4-6 friends who know anything and everything about each other. i think one thing is for sure, i certainly missed out on telling people my secrets, that's for sure. and whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is open to interpretation.
something jelena asked me as we boarded the mrt, you don't talk to your old friends one meh. then what if you'all like got something to say, you just don't say to anybody? i can't say this for all guys, but i now thts pretty much all that is from me. i don't really share with other people. that's why i keep a blog in the first place (actually that's the second reason, the first is to
it's never easy finding friends, but you will never feel that they be the ones who are stopping you from doing what you want.
unless you're taking drugs, then they'll stop you.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
NS letter
so, my parents came home and got a letter from the army. so my mum calls me down to open my letter (i was upstairs). and i was like, oh crap going to enlist liao, shhhhhhiiiiiittttt.
then i saw the letter, and it was from the navy, i was like im going to the navy
anyway, after i read finish the letter then i realised how much i sweat(ed). in case, you didn't know, after writing yesterday's post, i suddenly felt so overwhelmed by the future. it's like it just suddenly hit me and i didn't know what was going to happen after jc. and more importantly, it was scary. it's terrifying to not know what is going to happen. in school there's always more school more education, promoting to the next year of education, but no more, not now anyway.
i mean i thought about my career so many times in the past, i just never got around to link them together neatly, so they always remained fragmented ideas and just thoughts floating around. until yesterday, i have never felt so unsure before. why is that?
this is not healthy
just a short post today, but hey pictures!
i need to drop this baggage before i go in for the exams, anyone free?
Friday, September 25, 2009
Career Choice
yesterday was actually the NS forum, which was kind of cool because at least 2 out of 5 teachers have vocations that are classified, which makes it sound so much more cool than it probably is.
anyway, i actually wrote this now, because i didn't have much thought about it except, the song at the end was so cool. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYTGdi1w-Cs, here for you to hear.
ya so, i thought about today as i was going home. it's basically the same few things since my o levels, but with a few additions here and there. but i'm gonna start the story from sec 4 so you can follow on.
so the time now is 2007, before o levels. during this period, i remember telling my friends, eh, you know ar, i never study i kanna c6, i go and study, come out fail. that's why better not to study. which was really ridiculous, because that was i sincerely believed, everytime i tried to study, i ended up getting worse. so my friends were used to seeing me not study. so i had this friend, eugene who also doesn't study, but he probably does at home, that's why he got better than me. anyway, we always go down play soccer with unity (another class) and normal acad people. so as the exams drew nearer, we played that much harder, in fact the closer it was, the more we would play. maybe we were trying to destress, maybe we were venting our anger. but it didn't really matter. what mattered was we played, and i never really improved much.
so the night study starts in our school, and it was getting to 6, and i was just sitting around at one of the canteen tables, i was telling my friends
if i pass, i'm going on to a jc. and definitely not sr, because i'd rather go to a poly than end up there. and then after i get through jc, im gonna go be an engineer, maybe sign on to the army or something.
if i just borderline, i'll most probably go to poly, but i'm definitely not going to take p engineering there, because i don't wanna end up as some uni guy's ka kia. i will maybe take up optometry and take over my father if i get to a poly.
if i flat out fail, i'll go to ite or some training thing and learn to be a bartender. only because i love to throw bottles.
a few of my close friends in secondary school have heard of this story, so they usually end up surprised i ended up in sr.
anyway, i got my o levels back, and i got l1r5 of 15. at first i was like, oh, fuck. pretty much. but most i got b3 with the shocker being bio with a c5. i mean i didn't expect to get a1 for it, but you know not that bad la. so i remember i went home, i talked to my parents i cried a little, or a lot, i can't really remember how much. but i remember my mum telling me, in a soft ocnsoling voice, what do you expect me to feel, i mean i can't say i didn't expect it, i mean this is how you do it. except in chinese. so, at that point i felt even more fucked. but i got over it. and then i went to sr.
i remember telling some of my friends hey the best thing that happened to me in pae was picking h1 bio because im never gonna h1 bio ever again, EVAR.
anyway, throughout this 2 years in interim adulthood, i picked up a few interests that i never really explored in the past. one was architecture, which was really similar to engineering, except it had more to do with design. i mean i'd love to design, but i'm just not talented enough. but i'd give architecture a run for its money. the problem is, i actually heard from a cousin who just graduated from NUS, i think, i cant really remember. anyway, he says architects are always in high demand in singapore because there is only one class of them in singapore each year, which got me really interested. if i actually did do this, i would have embarked on a path similar to my dad, because he also went to optometry when it was a diploma only subject, and only one at that time had the classes, (i think). optometry was special in that there is no degree of optometry in singapore, just a diploma. anyway, back to me. the problem is, according from my cousin, you need to go in for a COMPULSORY interview, which is not a problem (mostly), with a portfolio. WTF, when you think about it honestly, people go into architecture class because they DON'T have any experience and hence have no previous designs. but apparently they want to see it so as to weed out those who do not have "the passion" so now i'm stuck. because i can't ever reliably put architecture as a plan A, it alwasy need a reliable plan B.
also, this year, i picked up magic, which was really fun, but i don't really have any interest in performance, because i suck on stage and can't smile for my life. however, i am actually interested in croupier position, which is basically the guy who deals cards in a casino. unfortunately, the IR hiring fair is now over and at that time i wasn't 21 yet and i couldn't send in my application. Damn it, because they were offering to pay for their training courses too.
another thing. i have always been interested in signing on to the army, even though people like to say, no you're wasting your life. i think i like army life because it's never really boring. if there's one job i hate, it's office jobs. i want to do something outside. but the thing is the only thing that's realistically keeping me from signing on is my fitness. never once in my life have i ever said to myself, i am finally fit. i may have been healthy at some point, but never fit, ever. so i'm kinda hesistant about signing on. i mean no point signing on if i'm just gonna be some guy there. at least be an officer or at the very least a specialist. i don't mind going in to be an engineer or something because i have an interest in that field. i just hope i can get into ocs.
also another thing that's been on my mind about the army. i don't really know whether i want to maintain a low profile there or just try to chiong all the way. there's benefits to both so i can't really decide. i want to maintain a low profile because i am not a very social person and i want to avoid as much punishment as possible. unfortunately, from my life lessons in npcc, i realised that it's never good to be invisible, because you don't wanna regret going in and not getting the opportunity that you wanted. so you know, lazy vs getting kicked in the ass and not getting rewarded.
also another sidetrack, some of you guys may know that i screwed up my aptitude test, which means, i have a much lower chance than everyone else to get into sispec or ocs, which is really depressing.
anyway, back to the main topic. as of late, i'm becoming interested in being a teacher, particuarly a gp teacher. my mum thinks i shouldn't because i'm quite an asshole to my brother. who knows, maybe that helps. anyway, i don't wanna be a maths or physics teacher because they seem to be the most boring departments (no offense to teachers). but the problem (there's always a goddamn problem) is i won't take literature or english language as my degree. if i were to take the plunge and be a teacher, i'll most probably be in philosophy or psychology. while both are interesting to study, they don't make the most stable of jobs. jialat.
now you see that most of my career choices are screwed up. things i want to be would most probably not go my way and things that are, would probably be underwhelming.
so help! i need somebody, help! not just anybody, help! you know i need someone, hhhheeeeelllllpppp!
by the beatles, my anti-drug.
also, something for you to take home. i don't want to leave srjc with a large network but no friends. i'm sure you do too.
anyway, i actually wrote this now, because i didn't have much thought about it except, the song at the end was so cool. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYTGdi1w-Cs, here for you to hear.
ya so, i thought about today as i was going home. it's basically the same few things since my o levels, but with a few additions here and there. but i'm gonna start the story from sec 4 so you can follow on.
so the time now is 2007, before o levels. during this period, i remember telling my friends, eh, you know ar, i never study i kanna c6, i go and study, come out fail. that's why better not to study. which was really ridiculous, because that was i sincerely believed, everytime i tried to study, i ended up getting worse. so my friends were used to seeing me not study. so i had this friend, eugene who also doesn't study, but he probably does at home, that's why he got better than me. anyway, we always go down play soccer with unity (another class) and normal acad people. so as the exams drew nearer, we played that much harder, in fact the closer it was, the more we would play. maybe we were trying to destress, maybe we were venting our anger. but it didn't really matter. what mattered was we played, and i never really improved much.
so the night study starts in our school, and it was getting to 6, and i was just sitting around at one of the canteen tables, i was telling my friends
if i pass, i'm going on to a jc. and definitely not sr, because i'd rather go to a poly than end up there. and then after i get through jc, im gonna go be an engineer, maybe sign on to the army or something.
if i just borderline, i'll most probably go to poly, but i'm definitely not going to take p engineering there, because i don't wanna end up as some uni guy's ka kia. i will maybe take up optometry and take over my father if i get to a poly.
if i flat out fail, i'll go to ite or some training thing and learn to be a bartender. only because i love to throw bottles.
a few of my close friends in secondary school have heard of this story, so they usually end up surprised i ended up in sr.
anyway, i got my o levels back, and i got l1r5 of 15. at first i was like, oh, fuck. pretty much. but most i got b3 with the shocker being bio with a c5. i mean i didn't expect to get a1 for it, but you know not that bad la. so i remember i went home, i talked to my parents i cried a little, or a lot, i can't really remember how much. but i remember my mum telling me, in a soft ocnsoling voice, what do you expect me to feel, i mean i can't say i didn't expect it, i mean this is how you do it. except in chinese. so, at that point i felt even more fucked. but i got over it. and then i went to sr.
i remember telling some of my friends hey the best thing that happened to me in pae was picking h1 bio because im never gonna h1 bio ever again, EVAR.
anyway, throughout this 2 years in interim adulthood, i picked up a few interests that i never really explored in the past. one was architecture, which was really similar to engineering, except it had more to do with design. i mean i'd love to design, but i'm just not talented enough. but i'd give architecture a run for its money. the problem is, i actually heard from a cousin who just graduated from NUS, i think, i cant really remember. anyway, he says architects are always in high demand in singapore because there is only one class of them in singapore each year, which got me really interested. if i actually did do this, i would have embarked on a path similar to my dad, because he also went to optometry when it was a diploma only subject, and only one at that time had the classes, (i think). optometry was special in that there is no degree of optometry in singapore, just a diploma. anyway, back to me. the problem is, according from my cousin, you need to go in for a COMPULSORY interview, which is not a problem (mostly), with a portfolio. WTF, when you think about it honestly, people go into architecture class because they DON'T have any experience and hence have no previous designs. but apparently they want to see it so as to weed out those who do not have "the passion" so now i'm stuck. because i can't ever reliably put architecture as a plan A, it alwasy need a reliable plan B.
also, this year, i picked up magic, which was really fun, but i don't really have any interest in performance, because i suck on stage and can't smile for my life. however, i am actually interested in croupier position, which is basically the guy who deals cards in a casino. unfortunately, the IR hiring fair is now over and at that time i wasn't 21 yet and i couldn't send in my application. Damn it, because they were offering to pay for their training courses too.
another thing. i have always been interested in signing on to the army, even though people like to say, no you're wasting your life. i think i like army life because it's never really boring. if there's one job i hate, it's office jobs. i want to do something outside. but the thing is the only thing that's realistically keeping me from signing on is my fitness. never once in my life have i ever said to myself, i am finally fit. i may have been healthy at some point, but never fit, ever. so i'm kinda hesistant about signing on. i mean no point signing on if i'm just gonna be some guy there. at least be an officer or at the very least a specialist. i don't mind going in to be an engineer or something because i have an interest in that field. i just hope i can get into ocs.
also another thing that's been on my mind about the army. i don't really know whether i want to maintain a low profile there or just try to chiong all the way. there's benefits to both so i can't really decide. i want to maintain a low profile because i am not a very social person and i want to avoid as much punishment as possible. unfortunately, from my life lessons in npcc, i realised that it's never good to be invisible, because you don't wanna regret going in and not getting the opportunity that you wanted. so you know, lazy vs getting kicked in the ass and not getting rewarded.
also another sidetrack, some of you guys may know that i screwed up my aptitude test, which means, i have a much lower chance than everyone else to get into sispec or ocs, which is really depressing.
anyway, back to the main topic. as of late, i'm becoming interested in being a teacher, particuarly a gp teacher. my mum thinks i shouldn't because i'm quite an asshole to my brother. who knows, maybe that helps. anyway, i don't wanna be a maths or physics teacher because they seem to be the most boring departments (no offense to teachers). but the problem (there's always a goddamn problem) is i won't take literature or english language as my degree. if i were to take the plunge and be a teacher, i'll most probably be in philosophy or psychology. while both are interesting to study, they don't make the most stable of jobs. jialat.
now you see that most of my career choices are screwed up. things i want to be would most probably not go my way and things that are, would probably be underwhelming.
so help! i need somebody, help! not just anybody, help! you know i need someone, hhhheeeeelllllpppp!
by the beatles, my anti-drug.
also, something for you to take home. i don't want to leave srjc with a large network but no friends. i'm sure you do too.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Feminism
i realised i have a lot of things to say but i HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO START
anyway, hey from me
parts of these may seem like they don't make sense or contradict each other. most likely because these are just fragmented wide-ranging views that i have about this topic and never really got around to connecting them. and you know trying to make sense.
i have a really strong feeling that the feminist movement won't likely ever succeed, as in the modern one, like the third or something. basically its' because (i think) girls don't know what the hell they want. or in an attempt to get more language marks, they do not have a universal set of goals and targets that they can set out to achieve.
in case that was a little hard to understand, here's a little analogy. imagine you're a minority and you have been marginalized for a very long time. you have been denied rights that should be deemed equal for all human beings but yet find yourself living without them. so you know, after maybe, some guy says this awesome speech or after a barfight where everyone just got really drunk, BOOM, you find out that there's actually a movement out there to right the wrongs that you have been suffering all your life. so everyone's all protesting and shit, and you know what, they all have a somewhat sketchy idea of what they want. basically equality and stuff that i would proceed to bore you with if i went through listing them, but i won't. because i'm merciful.
so anyway, that's at least how a movement starts. and the problem with the feminist movement is that they have no fucking clue what they want. i mean the first and the second were great and all, getting you ladies into jobs and schools say that we have hot chicks in uniforms to look at. but that's pretty much where everyone just have no clue where else to go from. some chicks go no we don't want to be objectified in ads anymore, and then the others go, we're just so very proud of our sexuality that we just want to do porn and be prostitutes for fun. then here's the point you go, " wow Nil, you magnificent little princess, is that the only thing where chicks are all estrogeny about?" of course not, silly little internet person. there are of course those, if i may borrow from Cracked, chronicly offended, at FUCKING EVERYTHING. "fucking is being used here as adjective and not literally sexing up everything. See, we can be educational too!
anyway, feminism right now is being so screwed up because of this clash of ideals. because no one has a clear idea of what equality really means. unlike obama. if you want to start off with the PG-13 stuff, some girls actually like guys who are gentlemanly, you know open the doors, shift the chairs, say thank you, non-douchebag behaviour. but some actually criticise them for being condescending, saying like "i can do it for myself, you chavinistic pig, exclamation mark" i have absolutely no idea where she got that idea from. is she like saying that these gentlemanly guys are going that extra mile just to get in their pants or something, because somewhere that chain of thought doesn't make sense. why go to all that trouble when all you need to do is be a jerk and girls will be drooling over you. which is another thing that i find really disturbing, because girls don't go for the nice guys, they always end up in the "friend-zone". i'm sure you all have stories of those fairytale ending types, but stop being so narcissitic and over-attentive to yourself, the men are talking about the real world here.
then you have the objectification in ads. this is lip service most often paid by people who study any form of arguing above high school. they just go "oh look at that provocative posture, how can you exploit women like that." which i find really stupid because number 1, these are mainly ads that cater to the male demographic and 2, men are chavinstic pigs. objectification of women happens because there's money to be made, guys are easily swayed over by boobs and tight and/or no clothes. remember that everytime you go up to a guy with a flag day donation tin. is it unfair? probably, but think about it, why does objectification of men so much less prevalent. then honestly think about it, would you buy a product, if it was advertised by a guy showing off his gigantic eyes. probably not. there is virtually no scenario where showing off penii will ever get more customers, except maybe the porn industry. but with that said, that doesn't mean that there is no objectification whatsoever. right now the koreans are perfecting the technique with 12 men flailing their hands and feet to a rhythm, they call them super junior. which i find disturbing and mildly gay. it's like in the back of your mind, you're wondering, there has to be at least 2 of them that are gay and making out behind the scenes.
and THEN you have the women who enjoy doing porn and prostitution. some women actually believe that by alloing such women to do so, they would undermine what they have tried to achieve all these years. which i kinda get, but yet at the same time find very ridiculous. it's a very contradicting feeling when you actually feel that both parties are right at the same time. think about it, if say i really enjoyed blowing balloons (this is not a metaphor, it was just the first thing that entered my mind) and some other guys would be saying that hey don't blow balloons, you'll make us look gay. and i'm like what? i enjoy blowing balloons and i'm not hurting anyone. so i'm kinda on the fence about this one. on one hand, it would tarnish the image of strong independent women that they're trying to cultivate, but on the other hand, i'm a chavinistic pig.
i mean, i can't say for certain that women will never achieve equal rights, but i'm positive that their idea of "equal" will change so many times that they will lose track of it. the reason that feminism is so unlike other movements like gay rights and african american rights and even animal righs is that its not possible to say that one is "equal" to another in all aspects. i can say that i am as equal to a gay man as i am to a black guy, because we have no conflicting ideologies or practices. feminism is so much more complex, because men are fundamentally different. we are biologically wired to tap that. and what that means is that one party will find a way to get into the other's pants, and they will say or do anything to get there. so while the woman is saying "equal rights!" all the guys are hearing "blablabla get me a diamond ring and i'll fake it like i've never faked it before" ( a line taken from sinfest).
we are biologically wired to approach women differently from how we would approach a black dude or a gay guy or even a puppy. that's just how we are. shallow chavinistic pigs. and i don't even know what chauvinistic means.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
some guy
WHAT UP BITCHES !!
awake, yet? still trying out the greeting thing, anyway, back to stuff that doesn't matters.
the dude you see above is douglas, and he came to our school and talked to us, which was cool. he comes off as a really semi domesticated culturised japanese, which i have no idea what that means. but he's singaporean, very singaporean. he's most probably brought up in a chinese environment, since he can just spew off couplets ( repeat after me Cheng Yu !!) like just off the cuffs. i probably just misused the phrase off the cuffs. anyway, he comes to our school, talks about his life at this company called apex-pal, which honestly is a really retarded name for a company, no matter how small that is. i mean, can you imagine a bunch of directors and bigwigs sitting at a table going, hmm, glennard pte ltd, no, glennard incorporated, no, glennard he's so awesome enterprise, no, and then little douglas meekly whispers, apex-pal? and then the directors going WHOOOOO!!!!! WE GOT IT!! like a frat party.
just wondering if you could imagine that.
anyway, what astonishes me (ok, exaggeration) was that he just took chances and things just worked out for him. i suspect that there was more going on in the shadows, but really, "i just chose vitamin E because i was introduced to it" Come on. and all 4 of his sons nams start with do and have 3 syllables, like dominic, donovan and some other name i can't remember.
also, he came off as this guy who was really committed to what he wanted to do and how he wanted to do it. he was like "VALUES SYSTEM !!!" and then pointing out his index finger at the student who asked a question, and then rainbows came out and a unicorn jumped over the table. ok i was kidding that din happen.
but still, he was very committed and he talked about how he got 4 jobs within the 3 months after a levels and before ns. which when you think about it is quite amazing. he had a job in a power plant in the morning, a teaching stint for 10 weeks (2 and a half months for you all who suck at math), a job at a bakery and another doing market research (ie dumbass surveys). all of these jobs are time-consuming and tiring and still he held on to them for 3 months, which is kinda amazing. even more amazing was that during ns itself, he managed to pack 8 2-hour tuition lessons into those weekends, letting him rack up 5-6k per month, completely pwning his ns (officer, that is) pay of 1k.
as i heard about him talk about his jobs and also people asking for internships (is it just me, or is it becoming a recurring question?), i was thinking about going to a job agency and telling the clerk, get me the craziest job that i have the qualification for. which is awesome, because i have no idea what the hell i'm gonna do. imagine like, suddenly, the clerk calls you and says, "we have an opening for a parachute tester, would you li---- HELL,YES!!"
hahas.
also, breaking news, i have been singing get back by the beatles wrongly for the past week,
...
and i just found out about it
like jojo was a man who thought he was a loner, but he nanananananana
amd then that for about 3,4 more lines then, GET BACK, GET BACK, which is essentially the chorus, and that was awesome to sing, out loud, when people seem to be staring at me, is that a chinese dude, what's in his bag?
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!!
and you know, the douglas i was talking about, he's the CEO of Sakae Sushi.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Mancave
Pictured above is actually my god grandmother's (or grand godmother, which kind of makes less sense when i think about it.) current house. it now houses her, my god grandfather and her grandchildren and sometimes her sons, now less so since they're already married. i just tried to remake the floor plan from memory
That was the rough floor plan of what i thought would be my future bachelor pad would look like. it had just enough space for one (or two, wink) people. which i proceeded to feel guilty about since it was once home to 5 people at the same time.
Actually before thinking about my future potential Mancave™, i was at the state prior to being unconscious (i.e sleep), i was thinking about the first list of things i would need to buy if i were to uproot myself and go to another place or country with nothing but my phone, wallet and possibly passport. the first thing that hit me was food and medicine, particularly, cough drops, and eggs and bread came after that.
Well, since you're probably more interested about my Mancave™, it'll most likely have as much space as my Ah ma's place. a nice estimate of that size would be to imagine the size of 2 classrooms (i think, because the rooms are screwing up my projections of the size).
Anyway, important things first, internet, computer, xbox, pool table. Duh, but unfortunately there's no way to make the pool table fit into any room other than the living room, but that's just sad. so i'll have to leave it out until i get a bigger house. Since i would only sleep in one room, the other would be converted into an awesome room. Why? because i can.
The awesome room would contain beanbag chairs, because beanbag chairs are awesome. also, xbox and plastic instruments. i'll probably soundproof the room, or if that proves too expensive, i'll semi-soundproof the room with things like styrofoam and bubble wrap, i'll think of something. In the awesome room, i will also probably include either a projector or a effing big screen to look at stuff, and by stuff i mean things that are not porn.
i'll probably leave a blank wall in the awesome room or the living room to practice graffiti.
i just realised how freaking difficult it is to describe what i want in my bachelor pad. because so much of its' appeal lies in the overall decor and artsy stuff like that, so understanding that, i'll probably do up a photoshop, when i get that bored. i doubt i ever become that bored, because the beatles rock band and pieces of plastic shaped like guitars are waiting for me.
I need a new greeting
I need a greeting, especially since im' gonna do this everyday.
like hello internet, but that's already taken
anyway, spent the last hour doing some work, actually the hour before my dinner. but before you go out and say " Nil, you awesomely slacking compatriot, are you mugging IN THE CLOSET?!?" actually, i did my work over feeling guilty over (yes i used over twice in the same sentence) not doing anything constructive over the long weekend, which is 3/2 times longer than most weekends. heck, its' not even revision, it's just work i would have otherwise done in class today, had there been class today. officially i have spent at least a week not revising any work. the first week of school, i just had absolutely no mood whatsoever to do any kind of "real" work. maybe it was because the beatles rock band is coming, which i now own and is AWESOME, or that nobody is really around in school anymore, which makes not knowing how to do your work all the more irritating.
i'll be honest, i have to study around other people, because firstly i suck, and secondly, i suck and i end up pestering other people on how to do simple questions. so certain people get really annoyed when i do that, but it's not the majority so i still have a vast pool of resources to tap into (Muhahaha, people who are not annoyed).
so yeah, studying by yourself, no matter where you are is incredibly unfruitful (i'm not sure if that is a word), so i avoid it. but you can only avoid your work for so long before it finally catches up with you. and now i end up doing papers from at least 2 weeks since the teachers gone through them, so that when i ask my friends, they have some clue what i'm talking about.
we got our prelim results over the past friday. everyone in our class got our ranking points calculated wrongly. and more importantly, our scores and subsequently, our class average, should jump by around 5 points more. this is really weird because our class was the only one affected by the wrong calculation (i could be wrong but the other classes don't seem to be complaining), so when the principal showed the top classes, we might have beaten some of them. and by we i mean, elizabeth jason and the other freaks who actually study. anyway, our class average is around 50ish, which is not that bad until you remember, this score is after all the moderation(s). i'm not sure if i can call this "hypocritical" but you keep bashing us about not studying more and not working hard enough and not paying more attention to the question and yet, still give us extra points that we don't even deserve. How Dare You!?!?.
correct me if i'm wrong but any sort of moderation should be done using a bell curve (ask your local neighbourhood math tutor). our form or moderation just involves adding 5 or in the case of physics 7 more marks on top of what you already had. This, number 1, makes everybody equally better, which means relatively, there hasn't been any change whatsoever, so we aren't pulling the people at the rock bottom up so they don't feel insecure, but everyone, so we all feel better about ourselves. Number 2, why the need for this? we aren't going to be using this for any sort of assessment in the future and more importantly, this gives us the facade (pronounced far-car-dee) of being smart enough to pass our A levels, when we know we can't.
moderation like this is like going to the archery olympics and the referee saying that, since retard number 1 is going up against superman, i'll move the target closer for retard number 1 so he won't feel bad if he loses. what the hell? if exams were meant to make people feel adequate about their intelligence, might as well use primary school papers.
i'm not bashing on people who did poorly in exams, because i know and genuinely believe that they worked hard, sometimes, we are just that unlucky. but i felt that jumping one grade for everyone is necessary. especially since i felt the i deserved my original score because i am that unfocused. and even more so after i've come to terms with how retarded i was (at that one specific paper).
anyway before you start shouting "Nil, you cheeky backstabbing monkey, does that mean you did very well for this prelims" heck no. allow me to rephrase myself. HECK NO. officially i got a 50, which for my non-jc friends, is upon 90, which means i am passing. well, non-jc friends. not really, because on average, people need upwards of 70 to get into a local university. furthermore, that was after moderation. if based on my actual results, i should have gotten a 30 + 10 for PW. essentially meaning that i got 2 E and 3 S, you go and do the calculations yourself, but that essentially means fucked up, if this happens again in A levels. and this realization is made so much worse when you realize that other people are getting upwards of 70, and they did the same paper as you.
you're so screwed.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
New News
Just some things to clear up before i go into blogging mode. i want to try this new thing out about photo-blogging, daily. yes, daily. essentially being the attention whore that i am, i want to get as many hits on my blog as possible, ok at least i try to. if you go to blogs of other people who are popular (i.e not me) you will see that there are essentially 4 basic paths you can take.
1) Have many friends who are as bored as you are
2) Be hot, in a way that people are interested in your business, even though you don't even know who that guy is.
3) Be funny
4) Update regularly
because steps 1 and 2 are out of the equation as i am neither hot nor have more than 5 incredibly bored friends. i am left with 3 and 4. and 3 is also difficult to pull off because firstly, its not easy being funny when writing, since the facial expression and voice tonality is completely variable. i could be writing about some retard and you think im insinuating something about your mother. secondly, i am not funny, as hard as i try, i am not. and the huge box of irony comes crashing down as trying to be funny is one of the few, VERY few things i work hard at, the other being getting girls.
so i'm left with option 4. which is okay, but incredibly tiring. so now i'm stuck with a dilema. i usually write awe-inspiring and thought-provoking events and happenings (i.e not about what i ate for lunch and who i went shopping with). but given that most people generate ridiculous amounts of hits writing mundane stuff like, i didn't go for lessons and stayed at home and facebooked the whole day, its coming off as mixed signals. should i continue writing stuff in my head or stuff i do (which is incredibly boring), anyway, for the 5 people who frequent my blog (I LOVE you Guys), leave your thoughts about what you liked about my blog and what you wanna see disappear, like me being emo and stuff.
anyway, knowing the person that i am, i doubt i'll be able to keep daily photo-blogging up for long. keep in mind that photo-blogging is not a revolutionary concept( OH MI God !), but i just never really tried it before, so i figured hey why not.
for the actual stuff happening today, it's actually hari raya puasa. which is malay for something. and since they celebrate by breaking fast (i.e eating weird sweet stuff that i can't pronounce) i thought i posted a picture of cookies. yes cookies. why cookies? because i don't really know what they eat during hari raya, i don't even know how they celebrate it. all i know is that the colour green keeps popping up somewhere in the equation and families like to dress up in colour coded groups. which is kind of cool, i have to admit, but the appeal wears off after one or two years. i imagine, i'd be like wow cool i get to wear bright colours and go out for the first year, and i'm like what we have to do this again NEXT year?! i figured it'd be a lot easier to find your kid if you lost him in a crowded place. some security guard would find him and just match him up to the next family that dresses like him. he'd be like blue, green, blue, blue, green, pink, yellow ah there's your parents.
anyway, a selemat hari raya puasa to all muslims friends, which i figure only like 1 ever visits my blog. selemat hari raya to you bro!
and just to side track, i had around 30 hits since someone last left a LOL at my tagbox. it takes my friend roughly a few hours to generate that number, and her blog is protected, meaning random stalkers and possibly perverts ca't see it.
1) Have many friends who are as bored as you are
2) Be hot, in a way that people are interested in your business, even though you don't even know who that guy is.
3) Be funny
4) Update regularly
because steps 1 and 2 are out of the equation as i am neither hot nor have more than 5 incredibly bored friends. i am left with 3 and 4. and 3 is also difficult to pull off because firstly, its not easy being funny when writing, since the facial expression and voice tonality is completely variable. i could be writing about some retard and you think im insinuating something about your mother. secondly, i am not funny, as hard as i try, i am not. and the huge box of irony comes crashing down as trying to be funny is one of the few, VERY few things i work hard at, the other being getting girls.
so i'm left with option 4. which is okay, but incredibly tiring. so now i'm stuck with a dilema. i usually write awe-inspiring and thought-provoking events and happenings (i.e not about what i ate for lunch and who i went shopping with). but given that most people generate ridiculous amounts of hits writing mundane stuff like, i didn't go for lessons and stayed at home and facebooked the whole day, its coming off as mixed signals. should i continue writing stuff in my head or stuff i do (which is incredibly boring), anyway, for the 5 people who frequent my blog (I LOVE you Guys), leave your thoughts about what you liked about my blog and what you wanna see disappear, like me being emo and stuff.
anyway, knowing the person that i am, i doubt i'll be able to keep daily photo-blogging up for long. keep in mind that photo-blogging is not a revolutionary concept( OH MI God !), but i just never really tried it before, so i figured hey why not.
for the actual stuff happening today, it's actually hari raya puasa. which is malay for something. and since they celebrate by breaking fast (i.e eating weird sweet stuff that i can't pronounce) i thought i posted a picture of cookies. yes cookies. why cookies? because i don't really know what they eat during hari raya, i don't even know how they celebrate it. all i know is that the colour green keeps popping up somewhere in the equation and families like to dress up in colour coded groups. which is kind of cool, i have to admit, but the appeal wears off after one or two years. i imagine, i'd be like wow cool i get to wear bright colours and go out for the first year, and i'm like what we have to do this again NEXT year?! i figured it'd be a lot easier to find your kid if you lost him in a crowded place. some security guard would find him and just match him up to the next family that dresses like him. he'd be like blue, green, blue, blue, green, pink, yellow ah there's your parents.anyway, a selemat hari raya puasa to all muslims friends, which i figure only like 1 ever visits my blog. selemat hari raya to you bro!
and just to side track, i had around 30 hits since someone last left a LOL at my tagbox. it takes my friend roughly a few hours to generate that number, and her blog is protected, meaning random stalkers and possibly perverts ca't see it.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
yesh
Yes, my interface is finally back to normal, unfortunately i didn't take the screencap of my horribly disfigured interface of the past
listening to many of the beatles' old songs in anticipation of the game.
it's actually already out, i just never got around to actually buying it, no one wants to go to amk hub with me.
many of their songs like twist and shout and drive my car are very fun to listen, even if you are ultra emo. just listen to them sing and you just feel like singing along, they are that great, more popular than jesus in fact.
just to let you see my calendar for these few months
August 25: Batman: Arkham Asylum Release
September 1st: Guitar Hero 5 Release
September 9th: Rock Band: The Beatles release
September 22nd: Halo ODST Release
October 13th: Brutal Legend Release
October 23rd: Graduation Day
November 10th: COD: Modern Warfare 2 Release
November 10th: Something Called The A Levels, Apparently
November 17th: Assassin's Creed 2 Release
November 30th: The real date we should be counting down to instead
December 5th: Prom, Which will probably be canceled because no one wants to go
speaking of which, its' actually quite easy to overestimate the idea of prom night. its the kind of idea people tend to assume is self-publicising and self-promoting. like how thanksgiving doesn't really need any publicity but the rockfest (you know the one for the environment or something) does.
now my time is divided between waiting for these things to happen and looking at stupid photos on the interwebs
listening to many of the beatles' old songs in anticipation of the game.
it's actually already out, i just never got around to actually buying it, no one wants to go to amk hub with me.
many of their songs like twist and shout and drive my car are very fun to listen, even if you are ultra emo. just listen to them sing and you just feel like singing along, they are that great, more popular than jesus in fact.
just to let you see my calendar for these few months
August 25: Batman: Arkham Asylum Release
September 1st: Guitar Hero 5 Release
September 9th: Rock Band: The Beatles release
September 22nd: Halo ODST Release
October 13th: Brutal Legend Release
October 23rd: Graduation Day
November 10th: COD: Modern Warfare 2 Release
November 10th: Something Called The A Levels, Apparently
November 17th: Assassin's Creed 2 Release
November 30th: The real date we should be counting down to instead
December 5th: Prom, Which will probably be canceled because no one wants to go
speaking of which, its' actually quite easy to overestimate the idea of prom night. its the kind of idea people tend to assume is self-publicising and self-promoting. like how thanksgiving doesn't really need any publicity but the rockfest (you know the one for the environment or something) does.
now my time is divided between waiting for these things to happen and looking at stupid photos on the interwebs
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Monday, September 07, 2009
birthday
yesterday was my birthday.
the most touching thing that happened yesterday was that my grandgodmother (i.e. my mum's godmother) and grandgodfather drove all the way to hougang from tanglin halt (a rough estimation would be near queensway or the ikea at alexandria)
she came all the way here with her little granddaughter, only 20 months, just to deliver me a twenty dollar angbao. she really tengs me a lot
my actual grandmother didn't even gave me so much as a call. even the insurance company gave me a nice card.
anyway, had a real celebration today. i actually had a one-to-one "consultation" (don't know if you can call it that) with mrs lim. but she let me reschedule because of my birthday. thank you very much mrs lim.
we went to dhoby gaut to eat at astons and watch a movie, district 9. which i thought was good, and jelena and wenhui thought was VERY bad.
anyway, astons is quite overated, i think. maybe for that price range in that area in particular, that's why it stood out. but i don't really think that the long queues do any justice.
anyway, we went to orchard central, which is like this really fancy art gallery slash fashion high class shop thing. the best part was that the chairs were very comfortable.
we sat there for 15 minutes before the girls and yang decided to leave to "shop at taka"
they came back with takkin and kenghong and got me a cake. actually they went to a lot of trouble to hide the cake, which i proceeded to ruin the hiding by saying "the cake ar" in my usual loud and obnoxious voice. Jelena replied "at least he's not that stupid."
the cake was an "oreo cheese cake" with like a whole pack of strawberries on top. like if you took out the box it would all fall down, that much. i haven't tasted the cake yet because we lacked a plate or even tissues. but i ate like more than 6 strawberries so that the box has enough space for me to close. and takkin thinks that strawberries grows on trees. thanks very much for the cake everyone!
then we watched district 9. which was 2 hours long and quite draggy at the beginning, only when the action starts then quite exciting and i use the term exciting loosely.
thanks to all who made my birthday so special, mum, dad, bro, ah ma, ah gong, jelena, kenghong, zheng yang, wenhui, takkin, edmund and everyone else!
editor's note: i tasted the cake just now and the oreo part tastes a bit weird, like coffee or something, the cheese cake is actually pretty good.
www.lightamillioncandles.com
help them out
the most touching thing that happened yesterday was that my grandgodmother (i.e. my mum's godmother) and grandgodfather drove all the way to hougang from tanglin halt (a rough estimation would be near queensway or the ikea at alexandria)
she came all the way here with her little granddaughter, only 20 months, just to deliver me a twenty dollar angbao. she really tengs me a lot
my actual grandmother didn't even gave me so much as a call. even the insurance company gave me a nice card.
anyway, had a real celebration today. i actually had a one-to-one "consultation" (don't know if you can call it that) with mrs lim. but she let me reschedule because of my birthday. thank you very much mrs lim.
we went to dhoby gaut to eat at astons and watch a movie, district 9. which i thought was good, and jelena and wenhui thought was VERY bad.
anyway, astons is quite overated, i think. maybe for that price range in that area in particular, that's why it stood out. but i don't really think that the long queues do any justice.
anyway, we went to orchard central, which is like this really fancy art gallery slash fashion high class shop thing. the best part was that the chairs were very comfortable.
we sat there for 15 minutes before the girls and yang decided to leave to "shop at taka"
they came back with takkin and kenghong and got me a cake. actually they went to a lot of trouble to hide the cake, which i proceeded to ruin the hiding by saying "the cake ar" in my usual loud and obnoxious voice. Jelena replied "at least he's not that stupid."
the cake was an "oreo cheese cake" with like a whole pack of strawberries on top. like if you took out the box it would all fall down, that much. i haven't tasted the cake yet because we lacked a plate or even tissues. but i ate like more than 6 strawberries so that the box has enough space for me to close. and takkin thinks that strawberries grows on trees. thanks very much for the cake everyone!
then we watched district 9. which was 2 hours long and quite draggy at the beginning, only when the action starts then quite exciting and i use the term exciting loosely.
thanks to all who made my birthday so special, mum, dad, bro, ah ma, ah gong, jelena, kenghong, zheng yang, wenhui, takkin, edmund and everyone else!
editor's note: i tasted the cake just now and the oreo part tastes a bit weird, like coffee or something, the cheese cake is actually pretty good.
www.lightamillioncandles.com
help them out
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
these 3 days
just about finishing up on my new blog skin, can go to http://justfortestingskinsrawr.blogspot.com/ to check it out first, give comments maybe.
anyway, prelims are over, most of the papers consisted of 1 killer difficulty paper plus 1 can-make-it-if-you-studied type of paper. unfortunately they always put the more difficult paper in front.
anyway, spent my weekend doing up the blogskin and spent yesterday visiting teachers followed by soccer followed by heatstroke/malnutrition
here's the play-by-play:
heatstroke/malnutrition happened because i didnt eat breakfast. so i played for about 15 to 30 minutes soccer at 12 odd pm. clearly the sun is damn hot. so i finished and dank hundred plus, then sat at the benches beside the courts until our turn again.
this is when the problem starts. at first the left side of my vision starts looking a little off, like slanted and a bit negative looking. but i didn't do much about it, just carried on playing.
then i start my next match looking abit dizzy and losing depth perception. but i could still react to the ball.
i played for 10 mins before going back for lunch
by then it was 3 plus. at that time, a small part of the right side of my brain starts to hurt, along with my legs burning, but thats natural because i just played soccer.
after a while it spreads to the back part of my brain. then my stomach, the upper right part, just below my lungs. so i figured i just needed some food.
so everything hurts as i ate my lunch, at 330 by the way. but the pain started to subside. by the end only a small part of my right pain remained in pain, possibly due to lack of rest.
anyway, i don't really know why i'm talking about this on my blog. maybe as some sort of reference perhaps. i dunno
have no idea what what my prelims results will be like. want to feel confident and yet at the same time, don't want to be overly relaxed. everytime i feel like i did well for 1 paper the universe turns around and screws me, and when i feel not confident for a paper, the universe does its magic again.
taggingrox.blogspot.com
anyway, prelims are over, most of the papers consisted of 1 killer difficulty paper plus 1 can-make-it-if-you-studied type of paper. unfortunately they always put the more difficult paper in front.
anyway, spent my weekend doing up the blogskin and spent yesterday visiting teachers followed by soccer followed by heatstroke/malnutrition
here's the play-by-play:
heatstroke/malnutrition happened because i didnt eat breakfast. so i played for about 15 to 30 minutes soccer at 12 odd pm. clearly the sun is damn hot. so i finished and dank hundred plus, then sat at the benches beside the courts until our turn again.
this is when the problem starts. at first the left side of my vision starts looking a little off, like slanted and a bit negative looking. but i didn't do much about it, just carried on playing.
then i start my next match looking abit dizzy and losing depth perception. but i could still react to the ball.
i played for 10 mins before going back for lunch
by then it was 3 plus. at that time, a small part of the right side of my brain starts to hurt, along with my legs burning, but thats natural because i just played soccer.
after a while it spreads to the back part of my brain. then my stomach, the upper right part, just below my lungs. so i figured i just needed some food.
so everything hurts as i ate my lunch, at 330 by the way. but the pain started to subside. by the end only a small part of my right pain remained in pain, possibly due to lack of rest.
anyway, i don't really know why i'm talking about this on my blog. maybe as some sort of reference perhaps. i dunno
have no idea what what my prelims results will be like. want to feel confident and yet at the same time, don't want to be overly relaxed. everytime i feel like i did well for 1 paper the universe turns around and screws me, and when i feel not confident for a paper, the universe does its magic again.
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