Jun Hols: An Epilogue

Today is the last day of the june holidays
if we want to be incredibly precise, i did an infinite times more work than i had in previous holidays. if you understand any basic math, you would realise that that is only possible if i did nothing in the past and i actually DID something this time. i actually did do 2 practices on my own, not that it is actually a homework assignment, i just needed to brush up on some maths and remembered that the topics where i suck at, i lost the entire tutorial booklet. so i ended up doing what i was good at, relatively because i suck at everything else, if i merely write more than 3 lines, its considered good.

so this holidays i made an attempt to do some kind of work. unfortunately, cambridge does not accept attempts. feeling really guilty over this. every night before i go to sleep, i keep telling myself tomorrow, first thing in the morning, i'm gonna finish blah blah blah before i switch on the computer. and never has that actually happened, except the 2 times. to the future me, whom i know will read this. The moment something good happens, don't break the flow, don't say, i'm gonna take a break and then come back the next day. the breaks never gonna end. ever. EVAR!!!


ok. wow


writing that did not make me feel any better. at all.

i decided to break my 4 weeks of holidays to review them more carefully.
week 1: 1/6 to 7/6
this is probably the week with the most promise of actually doing anything, because we had to come back for 2 or 3 days for tutorials and lectures. I did not sleep, i think. i rushed mass effect with the hopes of finally starting on actual work, which i promptly did after i finished. i was proud of myself for that. but sadly the streak only lasted for 2 days, i went back to gaming.

week 2 : 8/6 to 14/6
this was probably marked by the start of my downward spiral. i discovered bob.com.sg, which was an singapore xbox forum. so i went on to the marketplace, bought a second hand game, prototype, at slightly cheaper than retail, then hoping to sell it quickly back so to minimise losses. i did, and in my rush, i had already forgotten about school. i also bought 2 months worth of online time at around $17, which further fueled my descent.

week 3: 15/6 to 22/6
the descent basically continued, i woke up, played, ate or skipped lunch, play somemore, dinner, play, sleep. at this point, the only things going through my mind was very basic, i wanted to get to the end of my game, and not end up late where i meeting my next seller to deal. i got fallout 3 and too human, on 21st.

week 4: 23/6 to today, 29/6
technically i went to penang from 22nd to the 24th. it was a great trip, ate great food. visited my grandma, who is slowly getting hard of hearing and seeing. visited my aunt who just suffered a stroke. they shaved her head, and now she has 2 big scars on her forehead. one of her doctors doesn't even speak english or chinese or any other language they understand, he just speaks malay. and there's some kind of drama going on in my extended family, my aunts' immediate family members, that i don't know about, and my mom's not telling me. funny how a tragedy brings out the best in us. and before you say you busybody, not you or your mom business go and mess up. it actually is my mom's business, because it involves and my mom and her husband, my dad paying for her sister, my aunt's hospital bills. so yeah, it involvoes my mom.

penang food is really great, any random stall you pick out in the street is going to taste awesomer(ya, i went there) than any stall in your vicinity, even those kind where you have to go out of your way to locate, because the shop owner decided to park his shop at some weirdass location, penang has about 1 stall per coffee shop of those quality of food. so you kind just about imagine the kind of food even penang-ians consider good, and the best part is i tasted them before.


so i came back on the 25th, got jet lagged and rested up, on the 26th, gt a headache and my left eye started twitching. after that i don't really have an excuse for not doing work. this is also the time i started to feel guilty and reflected. i started to think, among other things, that is the a levels path, the way i want to. don't ask me, i haven't yet come to any meaningful conclusion.

i also kept skipping lunch throughout the holidays, not because i was overwhelmed with work, my maid just sucks at cooking plus i wake up late so i end up eating lunch at 3 and dinner with my parents at 9, which apparently is not healthy. so to avoid scolding, i skip lunch and eat dinner at 7. but now my stomach doesn't feel so good. i'm probably just a few years away from getting some kind of gastric related illness like my father.


the season 5 finale of house was awesome!!!

i actually thought episode 23 was the last episode, but it was the second last, so the cliffhanger ended with one major character sexing up another. which i guess was ok for a season finale because then you have something to build on for the next season. then i went to surf around and only then did i realised there was another episode after that. i felt stupid. so i couldn't wait, and i torrented as quickly as i could. so there's a tale of how stupid i was. but anyway THE SEASON FINALE OF HOUSE WAS AWESOME!!!


www.lightamillioncandles.com

Twitch

My Left Eye Has Been Twitching Since This Morning, Does That Mean Something?

Reality Bites

i don't why or whatever compulsion i have for marking this
but for some reason i feel like there's a need to write this down

today i saw a link on a contact of msn. it said a sale.
first thing i thought of was that it was some clothing blogshop but i clicked anyway trying to click links and get to somewhere with more interesting things, maybe gadgets or funny shirts.

so i click on it, and saw a rather polished shopping site, not like the typical blog shops with different entries as their shopfront, a sidebar with tagbox for ads and arbitrary stuff like that.

anyway, it was a shop selling clothes for ladies. and more importantly, i saw an old schoolmate as the model for most of their products.



what struck me was that, for possibly the first time in my life, i saw someone use their natural gift to help themselves out, by natural gift, i meant looks and by help themselves out, i meant earn free money and merchandise.

i mean of course, i've heard of people using looks or talking to get their boyfriends to buy them stuff, but that was always from word of mouth, there was never any real confirmation that they explicitly did reveal a little skin and got a branded bag in return.

so, i felt high for who knows what reason and decided to blog it down. anyway, at least she's pretty. it would definitely help her business that she didn't have a camwhore-y look, which ot me is definitely a deal breaker. she does have the potential to be a model, or something. but that's her own gig, i mean i never even talked to her back in school, so i guess i don't stand to gain anything.


as per my to-do list, i decided to break down the average singaporean salary and show how i would splurge on it.

based on MOM stats, the average salary for 2008 was $3977 per month.

without doing any math prior, i will try to break that down to see how much i would spend.

looking at the CPF rates, i would have to give up 20% to the government, that's $795.40

and then there's food. If i spent an average of $4.50 per meal ($3-$4 for the food itself and $1 for drinks, give or take) so i would spend $13.50 per day. Assuming i eat everyday, i would spend $405 on food per 30-day month

For transport, if i take public transport and i travel to work 6 days out of 7, assuming i spend 70 cents per trip, if i'm lucky enough to work close to home. i would work 26 days and spend $1.40 per day, hence, $36.40 per month. plus trips i take on my off day, so around maybe $15 for all 4 days if i were to take taxi once per month, plus buses for the rest. so around $51.40 per month for travel

and then for rent and utilities bills, just as a projection or a target ( meaning by 25, i want to stop living with my parents), i would want to live in a 3 room apartment, if i'm still single. for electricity, i'm guessing 55 to 60 and maybe another 5-10 for water, so around $70 i guess. for rent, i'm guessing around $1500 from all the classified ads i'm getting on the net.

For phone and online bills, my phone plan now is around, $20-$30, but i'm thinking more people will call me when i grow up HOPEFULLY, so maybe $40 for phone. And for my internet plan, if i had the choice, i would go for the fastest net service plan, so around $90.

and then for different small little funds, where i keep my money for a rainy day, or when playstation 4 comes out.

i'm thinking around $80 per month for games.
$150 per month for medical and other emergency bills, if i don't use it, just save for next time.
$1000 per month for my parents, preferably



so after all that, adding them all up, i would get



$4181.80
i exceeded my salary by about $200. which is quite reasonable because i could just scale back a little on internet and games and whatnot.

but don't forget, there are probably other fees i haven't took into consideration like insurance, paying off debts, and romance, because girls are more or less high-maintenance. so i'm guessing probably $1000-$2000 over my salary.

so yeah, that's a lot of money.


on to other news, we had a 2s10,2s11 combined barbeque. OMGWTFBBQ. Quite fun, at least people didn't separate into their own separate cliques like my past experiences. the food was good, not much gigantic wastages. so great job i guess. thanks to samuel and everyone else i don't really now was involved in organising the bbq.


woohoo.

www.lightamillioncandles.com
they have 2 million already

It Took 30 Hours.

I completed mass effect
in 5 days
30 goddamned, repetitive, bloody long, too many motherf***ing words, long hours

but don't get me wrong
it was a good game, worth every penny
good plot, good gameplay, but it was really really long

you can shorten it significantly by skipping sidequests
but your game will be significantly affected, in other words, you will suck more, and suck harder.
the sidequests are so damned repetitive, and you have to talk to so many retarded people who actually thinks your opinion matters. for example. you can talk a person out of "gene therapy" for her unborn child. when you only know her for 2 seconds.

anyway, going to replay the game to get achievements. so, at least i'll be busy


onto other news, i can't remember which days i need to go back to school
and i need to find/make a blogskin because i want to put some to-do lists and i'm too awesome to use a pen to write them down

i actually have 3 to-do lists
Work To-Do List:
revise past work
- Finish the yellow book for maths
- Do the questions in that chem paper and that weird yellow book called the ten year series
- Read up on Economics tutorials and lectures and draw mind map on my bedroom wall, just kidding, tattoo it on my forearm so i can bring it to the exam hall
- Do the physics night study worksheets


Game To-Do List:
Finish Mass Effect [check]
get money to buy assasins creed
get money to buy team fortress 2
get elite license on burnout paradise
help my bro buy MS points
I cant remember the rest


Blog To-Do List:
get a new blog skin
write a post on stereotypes of players of certain instruments
break down the diferent things i would and have to spend money on with an average singaporean salary
write something about interest, how is it that something can be interesting to one but not the other
write about that pro-gun argument i heard from a podcast
write about how to sound smart
save the world from utter destruction, or just downtown tokyo


time to get cracking


www.lightamillioncandles.com
help end it

I have a lot more enemies than i thought

or you know, that 1, measly enemy likes to visit my blog, who knows?

Alternative mediums

I saw a great video "lecturer" if you can call him that. Daniel Floyd, *Character Animator (in training)* . He did a few great pieces regarding video games which make quite a few good arguments to push video games as an art form. While most (3 out of 4) of his videos typically have more relevance for media students or game developers, his one piece make a lot of sense to me, us or basically all students.



he talks about tangential learning, first introduced to me by Randy Pausch, lecturer of The Last Lecture, as he calls "head fakes".

tangential learning or Self-motivated learning is a much greater way of learning because, for the teachers and parents, it results in greater absorption of the knowledge, meaning when you understood differentiation, you can remember it longer than a week if you did it through tangential learning.

but what is it exactly, lets' use an example to illustrate. say you watched a movie about da vinci, called the Da Vinci Code (subtle right), and you got really interested and you googled da vinci, just for the heck of it. you could have just learnt about the vitruvian man and his other great works, and probably a bit about the renaissance in Italy or the history of the bible and all that. now you must be wondering, hey man not everyone does that, but just think about it, if only 10% of the audience googled, 57,600 people would have benefitted, and thats only counting the people who bought the book itself.

a lot of times, alternative mediums of learning are being overlooked simply because it wasn't direct. Turns out, according to scientific research, indirect learning is better. sometimes, i feel quite disappointed that such alternative means are not being used in the classroom more often. the suits always say that we are trying to expand your horizons by teaching outside the classroom" you mean it never occurred to anyone that the location doesn't make as big an impact as the cost suggests. i enjoyed the video lectures that are used in our GP lectures, not because the teacher is boring, but because they help people remember facts better.

if you watched the video, which some of you may while some of you won't, i'm not surprised, i myself am tired of looking at videos of korean boy bands and girl bands dancing and lip synching in my friends blogs also. anyway, i do reccomend watching them, great wealth of information in delightful animated format.

i am a fan of animation, and comedy. thats why i found this video to be so appealing. because i enjoyed being fed new information in a refreshing context. if you have any idea what kind of person i am, you would realize that i don't study for the sake of a piece of paper. i study because i want to know more about the rest of the world. that's why i don't mug, per se.

i'm not asking the gp teachers to go nuts and attend animation courses,(though i wouldn't mind spending MOE's money on something useful) but you may be wondering what other ways of transfering information is there besides the awesome animated shorts.

well, there's debate. i find it quite sad that this isn't used much this year, i really enjoyed them last year in miss ni's classes, even though they are more like presentations. i think underestimating debates is quite a big mistake. first of all researching for the materials and argueing, you already have one layer of information in the students' heads already, and for those who are arguing for the opposition, because you have to argue, you actually have to listen and you can't switch off and hibernate. and then there's the rebuttals and coounter and counter counters and ........ but you say, its too much stuff for one person, and if i set them up in groups, people slack off. well, its not really too much for one person, if you help the group split it up or "facilitate" the delegation of work, without giving away any answers. so everyone actually needs to work, and if need be the teacher can decide who to be the next to argue so people again cannot slack off.


and then there's the problem of people not doing work at home. well, torture is always an option. hahas. i really really understand this problem because i am guilty. heck i am so guilty that . well, its not a pretty solution, but there's the stress on CA marks or that seeing parents after prelims or something like that, should CA marks not work. i think a very good solution would be to use an interesting topic to start with. and strangely, you don't need an inherently interesting topic to start with. it doesn't need to be something likely debating the use of abortion or even something more local like whether Direct School Admission is good for Singapore. Heck it could be as boring as the canteen aunties. it simply needs to be "packaged" as something interesting like debating the need for staff and workers vs the alternatives (eg robots or vending machines). we are the Internet generation, the Japan-ised generation, we want instant gratification and nice packaging at that. we don't want big words and retarded statistics. ever.


and then there's the problem that it doesn't help you directly. well, content is most obvious. but the researching itself allows students to exercise the skills in considering all levels or PERMS or SPERM or whatever MREPS. As for presenting and arguing itself, students can be "reminded" to organize their arguments and present using AREEC or they are disqualified and punished to write an essay or something like that. if getting good grades for MYE meant less work, i would have gotten an A, trust me.


i know that teaching is a tough job. and i know that you guys out there are or know a lot of great teachers. its a stressful job as well. i'm just offering a simple manner to help you help us. hell, criticise this as much as you want for all i care, but let me know. i'd rather get insulted but improved, than insult you back and not benefit from anything. i hereby extend an invitation to anyone to criticise my plans in my tagbox.

i should be studying for economics, but this is actual economics at work, affecting workers all around me.
i finally know what subprime mortgages mean

http://www.crisisofcredit.com/




help them light a candle
www.lightamillioncandles.com

i got a lot of things i want to say, but i forgot

from an old friend and seniors blog.

before you go to sleep tonight, ask yourself this question. would you rather have a dream or a nightmare?
before you dismiss this, think about it. very carefully

when you have a dream, sure its nice and awesome and all that, but you still have to wake up some time and realize its not there.
but if you had a nightmare, there's always the amazing relief to wake up and say HOLYWTFOMGBBQ.

that was really food for thought.

and she went on to explain about not being able to realize the dream of going to Delaware, USA.
i'm not going to elaborate here

so i thought about it myself
i don't really have any really life altering or traumatic nightmares before yet so i can't say much about that.
about dreams,

for a really long time, i have made a small but true observation about myself.
i have no endgame. If you watch any action movie or anything where a plan is involved (particularly one where they rob a bank), its how you make the escape and then spend all that cash you so dirtily attained on a beach with some hot babes in bikinis around your arms.

but i digress, anyway, i don't know what i want out of life, i have no plans whatsoever. i don't even have a really legitimate reason for studying, at least i can't convince myself that it is true. for that matter, i don't even have a passion to pursue. at least for some people, if they left school, they could go on to be photographers and drummers and artists and all that. i don't have that. i don't have any "real" passion. what i have are "pastimes" or extended sessions where my hands are kept busy. the only reason i do any of the stuff i do is so that when the internet crashes or i'm in an mrt, i wont go nuts. i have an incredibly short attention span, and if i'm not interested anymore , i move on. and these extended sessions do not get me anywhere. i can't set up a magic show and be a professional magician. i can't barely juggle for nuts. i suck at pool. and i barely play games long enough for me to go pro.

so there. i'm really stuck. heck i don't even know what job i'm gonna take in the future. i don't wanna be a soldier, i can't run a friggin 2.4 km in 15 mins, and girls break that regularly. i don't wanna be an engineer, i just wanna play with a newton's cradle and some magnets. i don't wanna be an architect, i just like looking at buildings, i don't even have a portfolio. i don't wanna be a teacher, i just fancy the idea of saying things and people listening.

and all this i'm just talking about my career prospects. i don't have a girlfriend. heck i don't even know if i can get one within the next five years.
and then there's the other people, the poor and the less fortunate. all my life, i knew deep down i was lucky, and i knew i had to pay someone back. but i don't know whether that day will ever come where i pick up the courage to lend a hand. i knew i wanted to change the world, but thats just a rough hazy idea just floating around. i need solid concrete plans.



holy crap, wake me up.



i think i just bummed myself out writing this post.. anyway, that was not how i intended to write this. the post above is separated so i have a non-bummed out version

From Plato,

Until philosophers are kings, or the kings and princes of this world have the spirit and power of philosophy, and political greatness and wisdom meet in one, and those commoner natures who pursue either to the exclusion of the other are compelled to stand aside, cities will never have rest from their evils - no, nor the human race, as I believe - and then only will this our State have a possibility of life and behold the light of day

from wikiquote

quite an awesome quote

the only reason i can remember it was because i was introduced to it in the from of "plato believed that the government should be run by a small group of "philosopher kings""

philosopher kings is the awesomest phrase i have ever heard.

i could say it all day and never get bored of it.


without me, its just aweso

Superpowers

after watching heroes

i started to think about superpowers

woohoo. a little bit about my choices and the history behind it.

when i was in primary school, which was like the power rangers era and the still watching channel 8 drama and don't worry be happy era.

boys would always ask, if you can choose one superpower, what would it be, super intelligence or super strength. the answer would always be super intelligence, and the explanation is that if you had super intelligence to create other superpowers and give yourself. simple right.

and then i went through my secondary school years, trying to be some kind of loner because that was what i thought was cool, which now sounds stupid, but still cool.
at that time i wanted to be invisible. because that would totally blend in with my loner persona and i was totally not trying to conceal the fact that i suck or anything. SERIOUS!! (jkjk)

but ever since i saw the flash, which i cannot remember when exactly, but it is most likely justice league.
anyway, i wanted to and still want to have super speed. part of the reason is probably because the flash is funny, i've always liked certain superheroes for that 1 reason, like spiderman, the flash and deadpool a bit.

but super speed would still be on top of my list, along with electricity manipulation, i don't really think i have an explanation for that force lightning is just cool.

but still there are definitely some powers i would put as low priority

like:
super strength
flight
laser eyes
high tech suit (which isnt really a power)

anyway, tts all i have been doing for the weekend instead of studying.
oh ya and finding old tcs shows songs like 我爱精灵 2 福满人间 and 敢敢做个开心人
still gt some others but you can find them by yourself.

www.lightamillioncandles.com

Where to study

I used to think Australia would be the best place to study, after hearing all the cool stories from other people who studied there.
but now it has achieved 2nd place, but a close second nonetheless.

i now want to study in London, or anywhere in Civilised parts of the European Union.

firstly, its a relatively cold country, compared to australia which is dry and uv light is burning through

then there are the chio bu(s), i think people from both country are beautiful, though not as beautiful as brazilians, drools... But still, think of the accent.

and then there's the different atmosphere. Australia is the more outdoor kind of people compared to UK, which in my book is a good thing, until i realise i'm not even half as fit as them.

these are just some reasons i can think of off the top of my head. i still want to go to LA, California or New York to work or live some day, but not as a tourist, as part of the culture.

Euthanasia

There are two Hindu points of view on euthanasia. By helping to end a painful life a person is performing a good deed and so fulfilling their moral obligations. On the other hand, by helping to end a life, even one filled with suffering, a person is disturbing the timing of the cycle of death and rebirth. This is a bad thing to do, and those involved in the euthanasia will take on the remaining karma of the patient. However, the same argument suggests that keeping a person artificially alive on a life-support machines would also be a bad thing to do.
-Wikipedia

moral conflict

post 151

woohoo post 151


been a bad week
but trying to keep positive
succeeded a little bit until like about 10 seconds ago
when i read my tagbox

i write like a few posts a month for the last month, a few tags start trickling in
then the moment i start to point fingers, everyone starts to get defensive and say hey man frog in well, myopic, short sighted, biased, self centered.

that kind of comments

and ya i have had my share of really really nasty comments
every year
except 08, which was lucky

controversy generates publicity. in 7 days i generated like 34 hits or less whereas it took me around a month to get the same. its kind of unfair
it sort of satisfies the attention whore in me. just so you know

anyway, i am going to read their responses, so i don't end up being so myopic, you know. must learn from mistake. THINK FLEXIBLY.

and now i'm back

caixin doesnt have a blog so i can't like say much, and weijie did not grace me with a blog reply, so i aso cannot say much, and most importantly, my friend Eugene who is not from SR wants you guys to forgive me, strange


ok, so i need sort of like a response to respond to such responses to me responding to them, taking a goddamn photo.

wow

what a responsibility. and to be absolutely clear, i treat them as my friends, if they no longer do so after seeing what i write, i can't really blame them. but i write this way because i am blunt. stubborn maybe, but i'm definitely not trying to make any enemies here.

unlike 2 years ago


so caixin and weijie comes from 2 different perspectives.
lets' address weijie first because it is like easier. what i understand is that, if i work hard enough to achieve what i want, and enough glory has been bestowed upon me, i need not pick up litter, or some minute things like that. that view is what my mother has been trying to tell me all these years, and she's not wrong. the only reason we work hard is so that we need not do crap work. but the your focus of working hard is not to improve, it becomes to get out of this shithole, which to me is the wrong attitude. (again understand that from it is from this train of thought, not necessarily your own personality or mentality, wei jie.) so ya it kind of is wrong not to help. pele and zidane both made tremendous contributions to social situations in their own country, despite their success because they remembered that it was their country and their families and their people who supported them and gave them what it took to succeed on an international stage.

then theres the what makes me so certain they didnt help. i'm not, everything i understand comes from what i perceive, so if i had not perceived that you help, naturally i would have had the general understanding that you did not, UNTIL someone tells me otherwise, (does that make sense? it sounds kind of ok in my head) if i didnt see a tree get struck by lightning and that's why it's on fire, i would have thought some punks or dry weather, UNTIL someone told me otherwise, in a condescending manner or not.

and there kind of is nothing wrong with the photo, now that i think about it. i think

and then comes the frog in the well. Aren't we all. the only way not to be one is to know exactly what is going on with everyone in the world, so tell me, do you know what i do for council everyday, also no right, so that kind of makes you and me equal, (except that you didn't judge me or just that i don't know of it.) so now we're officially not equal. i'm the frog who made a noise, but you're the one who didn't

so thats' about it for weijie's comments, now for caixin.

he said they did, so now i know, kind of. and it kind of wasn't possible to help me because i was not in need of help, kind of, they were. " don't base you assumptions on me" "*base it on yourself" kind of did not make sense to me. what i think it means is that i shouldn't base my"assumptions" on other people, probably the stuff about pride and stuff, which still doesn't make sense.if gp teaches one thing, its that never ASSUME, and theres no absolute in this world.

so i cleared it up with caixin, he says that if i assume something and once it offends someone, its called accusing. which i now am guilty of. but that knid of wasn't the point of what i wrote. what i wanted to say was that when people work hard to attain glory, they will forget about the "little people", which based on my assumption is correct, but it is a biased view because i did not make sure that they were absolutely not helping them before i implied that they did not help others.
so that was kind of the falw he pointed out. i hate losing an argument

but the loser bodoh thing was absolutely true, because i absolutely heard it with my absolute ears. absolutely

when i talk negatively about myself, i think room for improvement, people think emo kia. when i talk negatively about people in general, people think i gt too much time. when i talke negatively about certain people specifically, they think im finger pointing and start to become defensive. all people are like that. me you bush obama track team councillors teachers principals staff canteen aunties. everyone.

in hindsight if i had not "finger pointed" maybe people would not have responded. if i had used the word sportsman or competitors people may just skip on through them and pass it by. but that was not the point. theres not point in being politically correct if you are just saying things that people already know. i have a unique style of writing and speaking in that i want to use words that provoke thought, make people think, make them reflect on why the world sucks and whether or not it is really their fault.

I live in an unfair world because everyone in that unfair world is being unfair to someone else. including me. that is why i remain pessimistic about everything and it generally hasn't let me down. or up, or whatever. i cannot understand the rationalization for being optimistic, like its ok you'll score that A next time or at least you tried your best. know that you tried your best merely gives you an upper limit. if you know you tried your best but failed, are you supposed to feel good, because i wouldn't. i would say this is not my best, i could have worked even harder and gotten that gold. trying your best becomes like an excuse rather than an encouragement.

oh ya and theres the mysterious Eugene who is supposedly in poly now and doesnt know much about my sr life. i just spoke to the only eugene i know and he just thinks sr people english powerful. so i don't know what your trying to do, but i unknowingly scolded my friend because i thought it was him. so congratulations.

go there now
www.lightamillioncandles.com
NOW

number 150

p0st number 15o

sr olympics was yesterday
gd job to all the organizers
now they know how hard our job is
hahas

all i did tt day was watch people run and then play upwords with michael desheng and sihao

but 2 things happened that day that really made me think

firstly, cheerleaders
no doubt, everyone was talking about them, i was telling a few of my friends we wont be seeing them anymore next year.
they did quite a "sexy" (close to being slutty) dances. and i was sitting next to my friend adam, who was once a cheerleader and i told him, that's not cheerleading, thats dance. he agreed. firstly, you had to give them credit for taking iniative to things like that, purely voluntary. so with that out of the way, they did mostly dances to pop or hip hop music dancing with their asses. there was 1 move where they just, in slow motion pointed their ass into the air swayed their asses across for like 5 seconds. so obviously, a problem in conservative singapore. lots of girls i talked to immediately mentioned slutty out right, no arguments there.

but then again,


it made me think, who or what made such "slutty" moves slutty in a negative sense. im not trying to defend it. it was stupid to do it in a school environment, it would have been better in a bar or something. what i'm pondering about, and inviting you to think about as well, is why is putting yourself out there, and attracting the opposite sex, such a taboo and looked down upon kind of behaviour. people tend to retort by saying, it cheapens them. but think about it, it is the person or persons who see them cheapening them, rather than they cheapening themselves. the difference is that their actions are the guilty party, but the people who perceive it and jump to conclusions. thats' my philosophical viewpoint at least, if you can call it that.

if i can speak for all guys, (which i probably can depending on how much u think of me as a guy) i would say that i am not very disturbed by this, but some will probably find it very attractive. For me particularly, i feel that it was a change of pace, not the best one, but changes should be appreciated for they are refreshing,( i don't know how much sense that made, but anyway) to me those girls are putting themselves out there and flaunting what they have, i would see them as the ones guys and lesbians target first in a bar, bang them and leave. and i think its going to be on a regular basis. i'm not saying that i may never meet someone like that and have them as a potential life partner, but who knows.

after that much talk about cheerleaders.
lets talk about something else. afthe sr olympics, i went looking for some friends to have lunch as we had a meeting later. so i went down to look for them. naturally or instinctively, i had this compelling urge to help them, even though i didn't want to help them. so i went to clear out the torch holding thing which had a lot of oil and hot water. thats not really the point. the point is that many competitors passed by us and the "official" helpers, those organizers and their volunteers, very very few volunteered to lend a hand. and more strikingly, because they were all wearing the same attire, the track team did not offer to help. so what i saw was them walking around the pe office with their medals and their jackets and their pride just walking around and posing outside for a group photo at the field. it really strikes a chord because you,(or just me) got this really strong vibe that they are the ones who are going to win but they dont spare a thought for those who helped them there, those who gave them the stage to do what they do best. this little line floated into my head that day. "in life there a winners and workers. winners put in all their effort and they either win or lose. workers put in all their effort and they either get recognised or forgotten." its quite sad. on top i heard one of them jeering at some mc or something for "loser bodoh", i cant really recall what it was about, but i remembered he was talking about the runners for sure.

life isn't fair, this adage is only true when you are the one at the disadvantage. no one who benefitted from unfairness ever complained. that is the ultimate problem. we know that life isn't fair only when we have problems, because we are self absorbed. we only know the problems that we ourselves face and we turn a blind eye when other people are suffering so we can benefit from them. Selfishness only leads to injustice. it's really quite a sad truth.


post number 150

www.lightamillioncandles.com

once

this happens only once

took me so long to garner so many hits, shows tt this isnt a very popular blog, hahas
anyway din get to change the blogskin in time

btw this is the 149th post

awesome


www.lightamillioncandles.com

Extension/Variation of the Chicago Opener

i need to put this here before i forget it.
if you don't wanna be spoiled the next time i show this to you don't highlight the words below

set-up
one blue and 1 red of the same card (eg. 1 blue and 1 red back ace of clubs) place at the bottom of deck, red on top of blue. meaning the blue is the last card of the deck

trick itself.
swing cut and riffle force. show the card and get them to remember it.
complete the cut in the exact same position. at this point, the order should be red ace, blue ace, their card, this 3 somewhere in the middle.
magical gesture then spread through the deck to show the blue
cut the deck so that the blue is on top
DL the 2 cards to reveal that their card has changed into the blue
close it and put it aside, but in their view, not in a pocket or something.. now the blue ace is at one side, the red ace is at the bottom and their card is on top.
swing cut again, but under misdirection or patter or whatever, drop the last card on the top packet to the bottom packet, showing the bottom red ace.
take it out and reinforce that that card is red
complete the cut keeping the top on top and the bottom at the bottom, meaning their card is still on top.
fan out and let them put in the card, showing that all the other cards are red as well.
now 2 things can happen:
1) (my preferred method, but needs a surface like a table, or the palm of their hands) take the blue card on the surface and spring the deck on top of it, retaining the top card as their card, to them it looks like their card "floated" up to the top, and then show the bottom blue is the ace, their second chosen card, as the finish. show every other card is red if they want to see.
2) same thing but reversed order. do a magical gesture. but show as if something went wrong and you cant find the blue card. then do some patter, to reinforce you screwed up and that the blue card is their first card. spring the deck show their first card went up to the top and show the last blue card is their 2nd card.

i can't remember

i can't remember the last time i said (or shouted) Oh My God out loud after i see something

this is gonna restart the whole counter again.

it was impulsively, Oh My God. kinda like looking at cute kitten scratching its head and going awwwwww

i don't know why i use the word god so often, impulse also i guess

The Observations Of G

you know how you have been seeing certain people throughout your whole secondary school life, but never really talk to them.

then you see these kind of people, whom you will never make the mental connection that they even talk to each other, actually outside of school at a cinema.

and then you realise that they are going steady and are already a couple. and you give that WTF face

all of that in a cinema in suntec, the old one. after watching Watchmen which you snuck into, but the auntie never bothered to check your IC. So imagine, WTF face in a cinema, after Watchmen.

and then a few weeks or months or who knows how long later. you blog hop and reach one of their blogs and see a picture of them together. again the WTF face reappears.

its really amazing how some people just don''t look like a couple when they stand next to each other. Bu Pei Jiu Shi Bu Pei

another observation of G

Isn't It Strange How Proper Lighting Needs An Umbrella To Work Properly

so strange

i wanna change my blogskin before my 10,000th visitor
but i can't find a nice one
all the other blogskins just don't "feel" like it belongs to my blog
weird

www.lightamillioncandles.com

Funny

the National Service Registration website
when did homosexuality become either a social or medical problem

or u noe that they need to know if you smoke and have tattoos

woohoo twilight

sux

hahas

now i actually have some kind of idea wtf the story is about, i will attempt to convince you that this is not a novel teenage girls or anyone, for that matter, should read

i will attempt to dissect this book

without reading it........................lol

this is coming from a guy, a physics student with no background in literature whatsoever. so it may sound a bit unprofessional and you know, honest.

i came across 2 articles recently, which brought up the topic of twilight, and vampires in general

Cracked article on twilight
&
Cracked article on vampires

lets take a step back to when vampires were cool, or at least scary.

vampires used to belong in horror movies, with vampires like nosferatu and count dracula
they used to be scary and bite people, and occasionally had a reason to do so.
but the emphasis is on the biting and scaring

taking that away from them is the equivalent of taking the funny out of chris rock.

then we fast forward and reach twilight era.

where vampires sparkle.
firstly, WTF
rainbows sparkle
unicorns sparkle
care bears sparkle ( see the connection )
vampires do not

2nd, it has no point or meaning, either logically or as a literature device, is sparkling supposed to represent some innate goodness that only edward and friends have, which the rest do not. maybe im missing something here, but then again, maybe im not

then comes the writing style
Quoted from cracked.com:

The series is characterized by its exemplary writing style:

"Aren't you hungry?" he asked, distracted.

"No." I didn't feel like mentioning that my stomach was already full - full of butterflies.


now you see why meyers (the author) and the producers are swimming in money.

so you get edward, meyers godlike boytoy and bella, the really smart girl whom everyone likes and is clumsy. because every protagonist needs exactly one 1 flaw.

so we go into book 1:
From cracked:

Despite being so plain, Bella is admired by everyone in her new hometown of Forks, Washington, especially Edward Cullen. Originally, Edward just wanted to eat her, but, disappointingly, realizes eventually that in fact what he is feeling is true love, and after a couple of days they start dating. After two or three weeks, Bella is begging him to turn her into a vampire because of true love.

then edward shows off his glittery goodness and they lie on the grass
Three hundred pages after "Oh, you like me too? No way, I thought you hated me!" and that kind of crap, the plot jumps out the window and commits suicide


book 2!:
realizing how much i wrote im just gonna skip ahead

lessons from this book

1) If a guy dumps you and says he doesn't love you anymore, he doesn't mean it. All you have to do is beg and destroy your life to prove that you really love him, and he'll come right back and love you even more!

2) It is perfectly cool to string along innocent but decent guys who are crushing on you and then dump them immediately as soon as your ex-boyfriend reappears, and totally normal if said ex-boyfriend forbids you from seeing your old friend. After all, your love for your ex must be far stronger, because he makes you feel 'alive' and 'dangerous' since he's always on the verge of killing you. And stalking you. We can't really mention that enough.

if you read the book, think about it, does it make any sense?

FOR MORE GO TO CRACKED.COM

common opinion about this book is that it was written as meyers sexual fantasies rather than an actual novel. at least harry potter could have a little suspension of disbelief, for a while.

examples of good novels for me include: Watchmen, The Dark Knight Returns and i can't really think of anything else

www.lightamillioncandles.com

random updates

been really tired lately
homework's been piling up
plus i bought burnout paradise which is fun
really fun

anyway
lots of file checks
so that means i nid to actually do the work
plus all the subjects have extra enrichment and special attention and all tt
so like don't be surprised to stay back til 8 pm with a teacher who's there to look at u do work

naha hasnt given me back my cards
and mr yong's training is killing my arms
just very tired

tts all i have to write for now
i had thought about quite a bit for the last 2 days but i can't remember

reflections

my bro just came back from his npcc leisure camp
brings back a lot of old memories
went looking for old pictures and looking at old friends' blogs
wonder what happened

when did they become "old" friends
when did i stop talking to them
time does that

anyway
gave him a bit of advice before he went off to his camp
i don't think he needed much of it
he had a kind of friendly personality, which kind of made him stand out from the rest
he would make a much better cadet than me
at least in lower sec

anyway, he told me he got nominated for best camper, got third place
i felt really proud of him
but i din tell him
i think he would have been the first
but i din tell him

anyway, he also told me that a lot of my "old" friends knew that he was my brother
i wanted to drop by and pay a visit
but never did
it never feels appropriate
feel like getting some of my old squadmates and just see a campfire or something
never did
don't wanna turn up like an unwanted guest
so i never did
anyone who is still in holy np, invite me back for something leh !

i dun wanna go back by myself
it feels really awkward
the people whom i talk to tend to be busy
while the rest, i dont have much to talk about
on the HI anniversary when i went back, i literally had nothing to talk about
i just went up, said hi, talked about a camp for like 3 sentences and just said goodbye

it just feels really awkward
hard to explain

saw a lot of them grasp opportunities given to them
regretted i never did
they are planning for events for an area 7 of around 8-9 schools when they are 16-17
while i took on my first school wide organizing in J2
always felt i had late development
like im a late boomer
or just a late


thing

i used to blame other people for not giving me the opportunity to shine, especially people in higher position
but now in council, and seeing my brother, i realized that it was never because there was no opportunity
i just never grasped it
my brother showed me that
just a little too late i guess
but like the principal says
you still have a long way to go, i mean i'm not wishing you any bad luck
but are you sure that you haven't passed the halfway mark of your life

i sure hope so too

anyway, miss the old days
wish they were back
miss my old friends
wish they would talk
miss my uniform
wish i could do drills in

miss np
alot


i think this is all nostalgic

anyone who reads this, still in np, let's organize a get-together, put all the ugly memories behind us and enjoy each others' company for a day


had the principal's rally yesterday
quite long
but interesting
i can't really remember what he said
but i remember dreams, perseverance, not knowing where you are in life

and horse breaking
and that swimmer
and lky and marina barrage
and terry fox

and that's about it

hope my brother can excel in NPCC


www.lightamillioncandles.com

BTW

My school ran out of water and i got a E for a levels chinese


and


my dog is afraid of thunder

really afraid

I Want To

Work In A Place Where Explosions Happen On A Regular Basis

Kind Of Like MythBusters, Except Less Cameras

Also, Lego, I want to work there too

or bartending, thats cool too

or teaching

or architect, but that needs an interview just to get into the faculty, nt even employment yet


in the mean time, i probably have to accept engineering
or soldier, NS!!


www.llightamillioncandles.com

should i

question: should i quit?

yay!

exclamation mark


yay somebody tagged

woohoo

anyway, today was um
ok
bearable rather


nothing much happened today
tried to stay awake during class
failed miserably
hahas

had my napfa yesterday
failed everything that people usually fail
got a pathetic 190 cm for standing broad jump
did 1 pull up
it was more like half but it din matter
exceeded 16 minutes for the 2.4 run
in fact i almost failed my sit and reach
first time gt 39
den gt a 41 next time
all because i was wearing shoes
shouldnt have listened to the teacher
my shuttle run was 9.something either a 9.4 or 9.8 i cant really remember
all i could remember was running very loudly and stamping it trying to stop

so tts my week, nothing interesting



www.lightamillioncandles.com
more people must tag!

Response

people ask me why i dont update often in my blog

i dont because people don't tag

i respond to changes
that's basically why i catch things faster than others

anyway if you wanna see me post

den TAG
it rox


www.lightamillioncandles.com
they rox too

All magicians are

lying, cheating swindlers

but you know what's worse
people who sell you magic (stuff)

basically, because you are buying an idea rather than an actual item, most of the time. they can charge you exorbitant prices for that idea

so today i bought 2 things, 1 thumb tip flame and 1 ghost deck

the ghost deck was awesome no doubt about it

but the thumb tip flame was just a goddamed fake thumb with a wick attached, the metal even came off after 2 tries
i am completely disappointed with this and best of all, guess how much it's sold in retail
$30
thirty hard-earned dollars
you cant even light it on it's own, its just a stinking fake thumb with a failing wick
this will really teach me to do MORE research before buying stuff
but still i did try and find videos of it in action but i couldn't
so i thought lets go with the gut feeling
which failed
damn


the thing about magic being sold is that many times you will never find out until you fork out the cash
for example, a tattoo joe dvd is sold on the premise that it will teach you a trick that supposedly makes a tattoo appear on your hand and then disappear. that tattoo can be anything, a card, a name, a kiss

it costs 75$


seventy five dollars


and i torrented the video only to find out that the trick only included one magic marker
the trick itself comprised of using pantyhose with your words written covering you hand

roll it up behind your sleeve and unroll as you show it


seventy five dollars for that

i feel sorry for people who bought it

sianz still missing my 30 $


www.lightamillioncandles.com

Orientation 09

fun
tiring
3 months of work for 4 days
worth giving freshman a good impression


anyway today is the last day, i was stuck with ava duty, which meant i din handle any technical stuff, just look after the ava people and give them instructions
so that meant i couldn't hang out with scavenger hunt people
thats sad

anyway, the finale went quite well, but it was only after close to 3 hours of rehearsals before we got to that level, if it was like last year, everything would have been screwed up.

i saw a girl at the beauty pageant which immediately caught my attention, she had a very outgoing and fun kind of look, that was an amazing look for her, but i wouldnt be surprised if she had a boyfriend, i mean anyone who looked like that is bound to attract attention.

i also saw a lesbian couple kissing, when neither of them looked butch. i was looking through the bus window at the station opposite so it might have been a guy, might have been


anyway, the teachers were the people who did the most for the orientation so props to them.



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Lessons On A Bike

Never wear long pants, especially the uniform kind on a bike

orientation has been going on for today
i gt first aid duty, even though im not a first aider
first day forgot to borrow bike so had to take bus, dam waste money
so borrowed the bike on the second day
now my butt very sore from going uphill and downhill so many times

on the orientation, the response from the freshman were quite good, they were quite responsive, only maybe 1 out of 8 were not that high
i stayed at pounggol park the longest, cuz its the furthest and i lazy go back, hahas
i think theres a lot of potential to really make them go even higher, but i seem to be the only one caring,
i dunno, maybe because i'm that kind of person


anyway, a few days ago i was looking around facebook and i saw a photo of my old primary school classmate, which is very shocking cuz it changed a lot. the photo was like 1 guy standing 2 guys sitting on the floor, at first i look at the guy standing den i tot it wasnt him, den i looked at the 2 sitting down, and realized that since they completely dont look like him, the guy who was standing, ie the one i saw first, had to be him. i was so shocked that he changed i showed it to my other pri6 friend yang. he was also just as shocked as me
so we were wondering, if they saw us now after so many years, would they see a big difference,
i don't think my face changed much, maybe just thinner a bit?

orientation still ahs 2 more days, lets hope it goes uphill from here

week 5

the week was quite okay, skipped a few lessons because of orientation, so even when the orientation part was over, just took my time to walk around school vefore heading back to class

got my black tiger deck, last weekend, chink just upped and say, go dhoby gaut la, when we were deciding wad to do after chem lesson. so i went there and bought tt deck, very beautiful, but not cheap, at 12$ a pop, i am taking care of them well.

anyway, practised some prestidigitation during school adn after.

but the most interesting thing this week has still got to be this

feel free to look at bigger version

shocking right?
me and a bunch of friends were walking down this road along kallang when we passed by an ad of the body piercing shop, so he said i bet you $50 bucks he wont do it ever in his life. so i was like high or something and said i do now la

then this happened, im still kinda shocked it did happen.

anyway, heres another picture,

anyway looking forward to peoples' reactions.
hahas, i think im still high







www.lightamillioncandles.com

Updatesz!

today is chinese new year so means got ang pao and skip school. but also means have to visit extended family, which sucks. anyway, does anyone know why i hate them. but tts not important


in the past week many things happened

we played rock band! me, chen, joel, darren, junqiang, yuan hong rocked at rock band. this is significant because its the first time i have photos to back it up, hahahs



and then there was the flag day
i neded to spend 5 hours doing flag day cuz i skipped school during the holidays, allegedly.
so i had to go for this o joy care flag day in kallang
i saw the map on the internet and then decided to take 80, because it seemed quite close. then i went and took 80, on the way i smsed kh jelena xt and yang to come out and kill time with me
kh cldnt make it, but the rest could, so on the sms we decided to watch inkheart
anyway about the trip, i just passed by the aljunied mrt station and then i decided hey its only a few more stops away, so i was like intently looking at all the bus stops which indicated where i am, so i sat there and waited and waited and waited, i waited until i realised i was in bugis, so i was like screwed, so i went out and took the mrt station, and ended up reaching 1 hour late, which means by the time my cip finish, i would have only clocked 4.5 hours, which is .5 hours too little. damn it, then as i was walking out, i realised that a 62 woould have reached here, damn it, my house has a 62!.

but that was the interesting part about that day, we, yang xt and jelena, went to plaza sing to talk and eat, so we went shopping for jelenas backpack first, then went to the coffee club to eat, and talk. so i showed some of my magic tricks, with brand new bicycle poker cards, woohoo!. anyway, some tricks failed miserably, but some were quite funny to watch. but we talked abit about life in a new environment, we should be studying, all that. by the way, xiaotong drinks faster now! so after that we went to sushi teh to makan. jelena started to ask me about some stuff like abortion, things that are in the moral grey area. so thats kind of what we talked about from that time all the way till the mrt stopped. we talked about religion and abortion and gender and lots of stuff, about how we process things in our heads. and we sat at the mrt stairs until they made the announcement that it was the last train leaving. anyway, there is a lot to be learnt about each other, we just never take the opportunity to open up.

now back to CNY eve, my brother wanted to go the chinatown, so we did, there wer a lot of china ppl there, like a sea of them, so we walked the streets, as we reached a junction, we started to realise oh shit, i can't move anywhere, it was likethis wave of people around you pushing and pulling, and i was holding on to my mother's hand like i never held on before, the "tide" was so strong that as my mother was pushed further in front, people immediately took up the space between her hand and mine, it was quite a fun experience, but quite scary also in the sense that we would get lost, but that wouldnt matter since we had handphones and money to take cabs. hahas. but, this is the kind of experience that kind of defines how much of life you have been through, that kind of thing.

anyway, im ending off here, and still don't wanna visit my extended family.



www.lightamillioncandles.com

BTW it's the dark knight

last friday, we had the first day of the pre orientation training camp, potc(pirates of the carribean)
it was quite fun, the GFs were surprisingly responsive and they were all very responsive, you could almost feel the vibe that they have pride in what they do work, so i hope they keep this up. the 5 houses also did a good job despite it being after their school and all.

the second day, a saturday, we started off with leadership talk by ms ang and mrs theng. i think they were the perfect people to give any kind of lecture because they are a lot more interesting and they can keep people engaged. anyway, it was followed by the amazing race which, we realised that the maps were printed out for them, so we had to lead them, and the route was quite screwed up so theres a lot more traveling by bus than required, plus it was quite a hot day so we ended up very shag after that

but the very uplifting thing was that, after that during the scavenger hunt. the people became much more lively, and the GFs were also much more enthusiastic, i'd like to think they influenced each other somehow. my house, Aquila starting running to the other stations, leaving ms ang behind running slowly in her what looks like expensive shoes. so i was really proud of them for being so upbeat during this.

after that was the warm fuzzys thing, people passed around cards with their names and just wrote good stuff and well wishes on the card. it was simple and cheap and meaningful, perfect for the school.

so at dinner time, we ( me , jelena and wen hui) went to pizza hut to celebrate the birthday of YANG, yay!. hahas, we ate quite a lot, and i blurted out about his cake, thinking that we forgot about it, clearly girls don't forget anything. anyway, the only people who caught the joke was like only 4. we went to pool after that to play for about 2 hours before going home


anyway, if theres one thing i learnt throughout the weekend, its that people like to be encouraged, and they work better when encouraged. but im not that kind of person, nobdy in my house encourages anyone else, we just say you better do this ( score well) or i will kick you out of the house. maybe that's why



anyway, really proud of aquila, hope they keep it up, plus i've been listening to some classic beatles songs, like help and please mister postman, and when i look at them, i find it very difficult to believe that they are the ones who do hard drugs like rockers, they just look so friendly




www.lightamillioncandles.com

A Thought-Provoking Paragraph

[He] Won, Harvey's prosecution, everything he fought for, undone, every chance you get for fixing our city dies with Harvey's reputation we bet it all on him,[He] took the best of us and tore it down, people will lose hope. They won't, they must never know what he did,

[He] cannot win, Gotham needs a true hero. You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain. i can do those things, because i'm not a hero, unlike dent, i killed those people, that's what i can be.

No, no, you can't. You're not.
I'm whatever Gotham needs me to be

Harvey, a hero, not the hero we deserved, but the hero we needed, nothing less than a knight, Shining.

They'll hunt you. YOU will hunt me. you'll condemn me, set the dogs on me. Because that's what needs to happen, because sometimes the truth isnt good enough, sometimes people deserve more.

Sometimes, people deserve to have their faith rewarded.

Why is he running, dad? Because we have to chase him. But he didn't do anything wrong. Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one we need right now. but he can take it, because he's not a hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector, a dark knight.


Anyone wanna take a shot at guessing where its' from

Today

today was a good day

i woke up at 9
came to school in hihs pe shirt
went to SR open house
skipped duty
laughed with mrs ang about skipping duty, people still cannot get over the fact that she did
went to AJC open house
saw some old friends
came back
waited for them to do the walk in
went to concourse
had a chat
a meaningful chat

so there were 2 things that went well for me today
number 1, i skipped duty in their faces, that was just fun, doing it in front of them and then having a teacher laugh along with me, instead of just ponning and missing out on their reaction

and then there was number 2
we had a meaningful talk where we voiced out what we din like about ourselves, by we, i meant some, by some i meant like 8 people. but the fact that we sat down and talk had to mean something
i'd like to think that i helped in one way or other to make this possible

i'd really like to have that assurance that i actually did something to help ourselves

it helps me sleep better at night




www.lightamilliioncandles.com
help them
we only need your voice

Stuff People Say 2009

that was actually the title of the text file i used to put what all you people said about me, i was just finishing up and then i put it in a TXT file and i realised that i din have a good name to name it, so i just called it stuff people say 2009. I told everyone else that i was doing a "self-evaluation" cuz it sounded cool at that time, on hindsight, maybe not.

anyway, anyone who bothers enuff to go back into the history of this blog will realize that i do this every year. or you know u could just know me, that would be easier.

so, in case u don't know what this is all about. the is a collation and analysis of all the things that people think they know about me in the year 2008. i do a little reflection about each and everyone of them and it helps me become a better person.

People chosen to judge me went through a immensely difficult selection process otherwise known as being online at that time. It pays to be online, and it pays nothing. i did one face to face, and i learned to never ever do it ever again, it is incredibly difficult to quote them because i cant write on my handphone that fast. ya, so lesson learned.

So on to the actually important part of this post.

i categorized them according to which group of friends they belonged to. im gonna leave out their names for privacy sake. what they say will be in ""double quotation marks"" and i write my comments below

The Student Council, or rather My Student Council

""i think you are frank
you dont care what other ppl think
as long as you think its justifiable, its okay
and like, you have strng and firm beliefs
like, you stand by what you believe in
sarcastic sometimes!
and you appear to be unapproachable at times (:
you are willing to help others, and you bother
can be a bit crude
but thats cos you dont think its impt to care bout what others think (which i agree with to a certain extent)
haha playing cards in the sac....
you dont realy believe in being a role model? idk.""

what really struck me was the you are willing to help others, and you bother part, i din think anyone noticed. strong and firm beliefs is good

""hmmm...my impression of you quite neutral ah...sometimes see you as a slacker, but not in a bad way...then you super laid back...like everyone else chiong proposal all, you just relax one corner...can be good and bad ah...see you slack like that sometimes a bit irritating, like we all got proposal to do, you nth to do...but most of the time not bad ah...like too demanding and all and asking us serious, then your slack-ness can keep our moods relaxed
low patience level like sometimes we planning and stuff, then you keep saying "faster leh""

That was actually the kind of personality i was trying to portray, i knew right from the start i din wanna be a mugger nerd type, so this persona was born. but what i din expect is that my supposed "slackness" can make people relaxed, i always thought its the opposite, hahas. Impatience is one thing i can't really change as much as i like because im just that impatient, but yet i can wait for hours on end for my computer to reboot and uninstall.

""at first when i dk you and judge based on appearance i thought you were some ganster pai kia, super cheena freak etc etc
then like your attitude also quite heck care kinda so i didn't like click at first la
but after like slowly knowing you, you don't seem that bad a person
i mean you're much nicer and that whole attitude thingy, thats just the way you are i guess
you either have to accept or not
although you seem really heck care, but i guess you do really care inside
you've just got that attitude abt you
maybe thats why you say you don't really click w council people
sometimes very qian zou
but after knowing you then its not so bad la
as in you will know that thats just part of you
i mean you don't really mean to be harsh but it just comes out sounding harsh kinda thingy
v hard to explain leh""

this really captures the fact that a lot of what i want to say is not really intended to sound nasty but it just comes out like that. and the fact that i choose my friends. and i do care.

""you're a helpful person, easy to get along with and you look like you're able to handle stress
I dont know you well enough to crap about you lah!
but you do seemed like that kind of person who gets easily angered""

I'm Helpful!! the stress part is an on-and-off thing, but the fact that i "look" like that kind of person is nice to know.

""i thought u r a good friend, like a council mate
cool" on the outside
and rather sociable i think
bad...
nothing bad ma..
i dun think u offended anyone, hahahaha
dun worry, you're a nice person
maybe make yr blog alive
yeahh, u didn't do anything bad what
like towards yr friends or teachers
maybe laugh more, come up with more jokes to entertain yr friends""

ok when the first sentence came out, i was like, huh u thought ar, that means past tense leh, that means u now dont think of it anymore la. oh ya, and if you haven't noticed it yet, some people think i can socialize while others think i can.

""hmm... basically its quite good
although most of the time its last minute but you will still manage to get your things done
i think that's all generally
start to remember things and not ask people to remind you
character... less apathetic?""

start to remember things is something very important, i should remember that. and i shows my amazingly astonishing ability to finish last minute work.

""u are quite a nice person
cause u will help someone when in need
very direct
cause u dun hide your feelings
u need more confidence
especially when showing your ability in front of teachers""

simple and short, nice.

""i think you are smart actually
like those with higher eq. can think on spot
not restricted to model answers kind of person
you are able to take charge of things when it gets out of hand smtimes
but sometimes you are quite blunt
like you want to say what then you will just say
regardless of if it's the right place and time to say or not
you irritating.
but i feel that sometimes you are quite aloof
like you don't exactly are on best terms with most of the people""

i believe in not being restricted to model answers so ya, i jus din noe that it is eq. i can take charge of stuff when it gets out of hand, its a gift, im not going to teach you, hahas. blunt part, already mentioned. oh ya and this is where i understood the meaning of "aloof", its a really fun word to say

""Moody cause must see feeling then can talk to 1
witty
fast thinker""

this was too short to be helpful because a lot of other people already said it.

Now, My class, 1s112008

they write quite little, but wad can u expect, we aren't art students for a reason



""hmmm
basically. u are glennard
wa jialat
damn hard question
i dunno what u want leah
u like to scold sometimes, is that counted?
but u scold too little than some ppl in our class, so its not that jialat
erm...
u think i am lame, (ok i am)
u like to say shut up la ( according to darren)
u are a happy go lucky person
smart
smart cause u dun really seem to like hand in hw, but then results come out zai
maybe cause u study a lot at home
u are quite a sensible guy sometimes, sometimes crazy
your character changes as the situation changes, quite adaptable to ppl around u
which is actually good la, like that can make more friends
but sometimes u dun look like a councilor
as in the ideal kind
very hard to explain this point
just not the nerd la
your display pic 1 year liao still haven change, very zai
ok super zai
sometimes u sleep in class
but is sometimes
well, that has got nth to do with what u want -.-
u are punctual generally.
mainly because i am taking darren as the benchmark. (LOL best late king)
well i dun really talk to u a lot, cause u usually mix with the other ppl...
but still not bad, cannot say never talk to u.
in between ba...
well... i dun go out with u, so i dunno your out of school character
sometimes u are a little bit emo
but not better than wee teck every lessons emo at the front corner""

i love this person man, helped the most. he said i am sensible, thats new, and adaptable, can change behaviour to the situation.


""-witty
-straight to the point
right now i can only think of these 2 lol
but seriously the only 2 things i see about you
that i can think of right now
smart,quick
straight to the point (like dont like to beat around the bush kinda thing, dunno how to explain, prolly you know what im talking about)""

bring smart AND quick is totally awesome.




""you;re the 'can hang out w anybody' kind of person
as in youre fine w almost everybody
[suck] at being tactful i think
like let say someone suck at sth
then you'll say it right into their face
sth like being too straight forward""

so i nid change to be less tactful or more tactful?


""not funny
when you wanna do the stuff you want you're notlazy
when you dont feel like it then you're lazy
a lil nerdy
average in sociability
you sometimes make unnecessary comments
like irritating""

right off the bat, not funny, sianz diao.

""what i think ah...i think you are an okay person to get along with. just that some times, you are dam guai lan (sorry im just stating the truth=P). in a sense you try talk back when someone said sth. but thts also your good point, cause you just want to speak up. just try not to overdo it, cause it gets on ppl's nerve at times""

i try to talk back to people who say something, its not so much a character flaw, than a bad habit

and then there's my PW group, i have worked with them like dogs, and i should be expecting more from them, the operative word being should.




""i think u are kinda stubborn
cuz sometimes u simply dun wan to see from other points of view
thats basically all the bad i can see in u
i think u are quite fun to hang out with as quite often u are fun ingeneral
i think u are smart as well
u are smart""

I dun see from other people's point of view because i tink my own is good, he is probably the only one to think i am stubborn and had the guts to say it to me

""i think you're capable of doing things, but at times when you do not yet see the urgency in completing a task, you would slack off, but when you do see the urgency, you do well.
smth like that
yeah the suck part is that often
esp at the beginning of the year
you dont see the need/urgency
so in my opinion, you slack off quite a bit
but however, at the end of the year, i think you worked real hard and yeah
you did well
you should socialize much more outside your friend circle
imporatnt""

so basically i do things when i see the urgency, fair enuff. and i nid to socialize outside my friend circle, but mine's a square, no fair!


And then there are 2 friends who know me since sec 1, if i grew at all, they would have noticed

""then....u taking up more responsibility lor..like joining council
but like still dun really study alot
then...though not same class but still same sch..but still will say hello to each other when see in sch lor
thats all i can think of..
okok..fine..then i think attitude like still same lor..
then dun study as hard as people but do better lor
u also nv changed much
stilll same same
nv change to the worst can liao lah...
nv change is a good thing ok..
dun think is sad thing lor...change too much mayb ppl dun like even worst lor
aiya..enough of ur evaluation liao lah..i already cannot think of anything else..if i think of smth then i tell u lor...""

i din change much, apparently, but thats good, because i can still do less studying and get better results than other people

""you've become slightly open
i was quite surprised when you joined student council (we supported you okay! HAHA)
eh you know youre a very frank person
thats really good sometimes and sometimes, it could become quite a touchy- sensitive issue
so just take note of that
if not, youre great
yeah
i told you to be careful of your speaking
and you alrdy know what (you blogged) that you feel a lik; awkward making small talk and sitting thru long silences
try to loosen up and make small talk lor, im sure student council helped you""

i nid to loosen up, u'd think the council helped me, but u'd think wrong.


so anyway, if you are still reading this after so much, congratulations, you have officially killed 15 minutes that you will never get back.

i realized something, people say things that are ambiguously not positive or negative, so should i change them,k i'm going on my gut feeling here.
ya and my new year resolutions based on this review is that

1) be more sociable
2) say things less bluntly
3) help out more in the student council because they really need it
4) not put entire song lyrics as a blog post, that's just being lazy
5) study for about 5 hours for the year
6) practice small talking
7) Pay more attention in class


that's about it i cant think of more, really

the 2nd post in '09

recently i have been googling up stuff along the lines of face reading, and by recently, i meant the past few hours. anyway, face reading, or physiognomy, is simply the "science" of reading faces.

a little more specific. physiognomy tries to profile you based on what kind of face you have. an example would be if the distance between your eyes is small, i.e. less than the length of an eye, it means that you have very strong focus and concentration. stuff like that. but that wasn't exactly what i was looking for, i knew i wanted to learn how to face read, but that kind of personality reading is about as reliable as horoscopes. No offense, horoscopes, but to me, as much scientific research has been put into this, i still don't see the connection.

anyway, what i was looking for was more towards cold readings, kind of like how a supposed "psychic" can talk to the dead that he never knew. Many magicians rely on this trick, they basically observe their subjects and try their luck at a few random statements. when any of that hits the jackpot, the subject would have an involuntary physiological reaction, maybe a gasp or their face turning pale, or something less obvious. so the magician picks up on that reaction and continues from there, saying more meaninglessly random sentence until they get a reaction. of course the statements they say try to get as vague as possible, so that they "hit" more people.

but most of the information i found generally involved some sort of a show kind of thing and that wasnt what i really wanted. what i wanted to learn was how to understand and pick up on that kind of involuntary reactions. many of those reactions are split second and i want to train myself to pick up on the different kinds and know what they are, i mean theres no point seeing someone sway from side to side, their heads tilted down if you don't know what it means.

so thanks to the wonders of wikipedia, or in this case wikiHow, i found out what i wanted to learn, body language. ya, it was that simple, body language. i wanted to know how to pick up on different body language, but reading on the web wasn't good enough. i knew i needed practice, but the thing is, you don't really know if you are correct, nothing is more than a hunch. so i kinda bummed out. i needed a teacher or some other way of learning.

so after that, i decided to do more clicking and stumbled on to how to detect lies. quite interesting and useful.
i also stumbled onto something called the Forer effect.
its basically magic through the computer screen, i will show you how it works.

with the power of the Forer effect, i will attempt to read your personality through the internet, i will try and analyze your personality and it will only be through the computer screen, all you need to do is fill out a little poll at the end to help out. if i get more than 50 hits, i will tell you how i did it.

anyway, understand that this report applies to you only and it generates a unique one for every visitor

You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You also pride yourself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof. But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.


how was it, tell me in the polls

Free Web poll for your Web site - freepolls.com

New Year

my tagbox is screwed up, yo need to highlight it to read it
should i just change one?

anyway, some of u may have heard of the zune 30
if you havent, its basically an mp3 player with 30gb

so now, since many of you have not heard it, it shows that its not a very popular brand of mp3 player,

so the problem now is that many zune owners found their zune bricked, or spoilt, on new years' eve. so that kinda pulls their marketing down by a bit

what's even funnier is that the fix for the spoilt zune is to just wait for 24 hours
you read correct, just wait and do nothing
apparently the problem is about the internal clock being unable to read leap years or something

so thats a damn powerful technical support team, solving your problem without even breaking a sweat

it also begs the question, how would the whole system be linked to the clock, such that when the clock fails, everything else fails with it.
its not like it records what time you play a certain song right.
maybe it does, i dunno, i dun really hear much about zunes

anyway, surfing around youtube, saw a few videos about song backwards, hear the spongebob theme song, very funny
some people believe that messages were deliberately put there, so its even more stupid when they think people are out to get them. i saw on miley cyrus' songs, the person who uploaded the video thinks that miley is innocent and isnt putting any *bad* messages to her beloved fans, its those evil producers!!

hahas, funny people

anyway, i have asked a few of my friends for their opinion on me, im planning to write that out someday, before january ends, hopefully...



www.lightamillioncandles.com

-

Fuck You, Future Me

you know...

you know when there are some things you really wanna tell people, but it kinda sounds very bad, so tt kind of thing you would tell a very very close friend, but yet the bad thing you are about to say is about tt friend, and then u realised, EFF, its gonna stay there until i explode.

i write stuff here becuase i dun tell my friends stuff, im not like most people, i don't sit at a coffee place called Central Perk and then talk about stuff thats happening around you, and then a guy named Chandler makes up a joke about how ridiculous that situation sounds like. I don't have that, so i write

i write hoping that in the future, the future me, ( who hopefully, is more handsome, fit, and smart) can read and then laugh about it. kinda like the friends at a coffee place thing, you know except over a long period of time.

i guess this is the kinda thing u have to get used to, i dunno why its so hard for me to tell people about things, make conversation, small talk if you will. i just got off a car ride with my dad, brother and uncle, it was silent all the way.

some people say silence is good, its golden or something, but too much gold is kinda pointless. anyway right now the one i tell the most things to is my friend Fuji, and even he can't understand half of what im saying.

anyway, i got this situation, i want to say something mean about my friends, but i cant because i dun really have any other, and because people dont crap about other people to random strangers, (at least thats what i think), im stuck

i wanna write about it but theres the possibility (VERY HIGH) that he/she/they/it will read, so im kinda screwed. i wanna start another private blog, but i will most probably forget the password and url.

so to keep future me happy, here it is,

to: (???)

eh wah lau how can u liddat, get so many people never get me, what is this,i not important enough is it. i noe i this year never talk to you/ll much, but aso cannot like that what, last time with you/ll aso mus self invite 1 leh, wtf man, bloody hell, i f i dunno that means i will never hear about it is it, u/ll good la, i treat uall as friendz u/ll come do this kind of thing, na beiz

remember the date, future me, its 28/12/08



anyway, a lot of this stems from my intense dislike of not being told about stuff


and ya before i forget, im gonna do the year end thing which i did annually for the past 2 years, basically i msn or talk to or call peopl who have been in contact with me for the past year and ask about their impressions of me, its kinda like a survey, but i found a cooler word for it,

called evaluation

ok its not that cool, but still, if u wanna drop a message, u can tag or msn me and tell me what u think of me, what i rock at and what i rock less at, so i can change. for a brief sample u can see my old posts here
it basically helps me change for the better. hopefully

so i will be calling ppl up, so beware




www.lightamillioncandles.com
help light 1

Korea

I was In korea
it was nice
i skied
i saw snow
fun
but i still prefer being among friends

Goat

Yes, We Ate One,
quite delicious



Keng Hong Helped
hahas

Lijiang

Beautiful


summary:
went there on a plane,
got cold,
wore 4 layers of clothes,
went to a hotel,
slept,
woke up,
still cold,
had porridge for breakfast,
went to school,
played with secondary school kids there,
forgot my lines,
gave out some prizes,
went to a farmers' house,
refused a cigarette,
got hungry,
ate a goat,
danced with locals,
went back to hotel,
debriefed by principal,
slept,
woke up,
packed my bag,
had lunch,
went to Tiger Leaping Gorge,
climbed down rocks,
rode a boat across it,
climbed up some more rocks,
walked a zigzag path uphill,
walked across some farmlands,
climbed down some more rocks,
took some photos,
walked on a road,
ran out of energy,
bit some gum,
finally reached tina's guesthouse,
went to the bunks,
realized that there was no power socket and it was damn cold,
ate dinner,
danced some more,
sang some songs,
went to bed,
woke up,
id some tai chi,
had breakfast in the dark,
went back to hotel,
slept,
debriefed,
slept again,
woke up,
went up to snow mountain,
rode a cable car,
played with ice instead of snow,
went back down,
went to Yangtze First Bend,
looked at it,
went to communist memorial,
went back,
debriefed,
ate dinner,
went to Gu Chen,
saw some shops,
followed the river,
went back,
got peer evaluated,
played cards til 2,
slept,
woke up,
got our luggage down,
went to the "palace" of Mu the chieftain,
went for lunch back in Gu Chen,
shopped,
went back late,
got punished,
went back to Kunming,
had KFC,
did my punishment,
went back to Singapore.

that's it





and then there's the view
Breathtaking

Thank the teachers, the principal, Tom and Rocky our tour guides for an amazing trip

I AM

the kind of person who sees a typo in your message and looks at the keyboard wondering what letter were you intending to press, had you not made that mistake

New Beginnings

Long Time Since I Last Posted

Cant believe im blogging about leaving

sometimes when when there is no longer anymore opportunities, we must look towards new sources

and that is why i made this decision

it was a very difficult decision to make

i just hope its the right 1

you know how its irritating when people visit but never tag

Yes, I'm Talking About You!
start Tagging





-taggingrox-